Monday, August 8th 1977-in which blood is taken, a storm door fixed, and Stewart makes a dubious promise

Got Pete ready for his blood test.  Before we were dressed there was a knock at the door.  Someone had finally come to fix our storm door.  I got the panel that come out off the back porch and Mr. Nelson spent some time trying to figure out how to put it in.  Then he went away to telephone the Tuttles.  Leslie came  by to pick us up.  Pete and I went up to the lab together and, as usal, he spent some time with the lab technicians.  He had his Batman book with him and was showing Shirley Kimball how well he knew his colors.  Her mother was there (she lives only 3 blocks from us) so Pete got officially introduced and said hello.  The lab had several rush jobs so I took Pete out to the waiting room.  He told me to stay there and went in all by himself (he said next time he'd let watch).  Then we met Leslie in the first floor waiting room and we all went down to the cafeteria.  Pete had roast pork and a small helping of mashed potatoes and gravy.  I had lasagna and a piece of chocolate cake (it fell on my tray when I was trying to get out a piece of pie, so I took it).  I gave Pete a bite.  When we got home Leslie gave Pete an envelope-it had $5.00 in it to put toward his bicycle.  She starts work next Monday, so she won't be able to take us again.  When Pete and I got home he wanted to play fire engine.  Then he went over to Betty Phipps' house.  Bill was feeling sick and wanted to sleep so I told Pete to come home.  He refused so I picked him up, carried him home (screaming) and spanked him.  Then I explained to him, carefully, several times, tha if he din't come home when I told him so, I wouldnt let him go visiting any more.  I think he finally understood.  Then Mr. Nelson came back to put on a new door,  Turned out he knows Dad.  Petey got his tool kit and "helped".  I let him watch, but tried to keep him out of the way.  Mr. Nelson took both old storm doors off Betty Phipps' house too, but said they won't be able to replace hers for 2 to 3 days.  It was 3:00pm when Mr. Nelson finished the door (the chain had been put on wrong on the old one).  I put Petey down for an hour's nap and set the alarm so we'd wake up for "his" programs.  After watching "Sesame Street", "Mr. Rogers", and "Electric Company" he went outside to play.  Then Betty came over with the photos Joanie had taken while they were here.  Then she gave me one of Petey taking Danny the Puppet (a marionette style doll owned by Betty Phipps-PL)on a tricycle ride.  She came out in front and we visited while Pete played "Weebles Vacation".  Then Daniel came home and Pete ran over and hugged him.  Daniel moved the hoses and Pete had a great time squelching in the wet grass.  Then Julie and Michael from Bible School came over to play with Pete.  I had to heat his dinner twice because they went away and came back again two times while I was trying to get him to eat.    They lost Weeble in the grass but we found him again.  Then Julie lost her bow and came back for it.    At 10:00pm, I sent them home because "their mother would be worried" (well, I would have been) and Petey had to eat.  They asked what would be a good time to play and I told them about six o clock tomorrow night.  Called Dad-we'll go "errand running" about 1:00pm tomorrow.  Called John Sandquist and he said he had another letter from Stewart for me.  Stewart's promise to pay child support but I'm sure he won't.

Sunday, August 7th, 1977-in which Nancy Takes Communion, we take a visit to the farm, and mom debates letting me see Star Wars

Dad phoned at what I thought was 9:00am this morning to tell me they were on their way for church.  It seems our power had been off for 45 minutes.  I remember waking in the night to find the bathroom light off, and thinking "I'll have to get Dad to change the bulb".  I told Dad we couldn't possibly be ready but he said they'd stop by on their way in anyhow, just on the off chance.  Petey rushed into his good suit and added a dash of the after shave lotion Betty Phipps gave him.  I was going to just send Pete with my collection envelope, but then I decided to dress, too.  Dad arrived before I was ready and I was going to send him on with Pete, but he said he'd wait, so I got to church after all (alas, with no stockings again-I hadn't time to put any on).  I was glad because today was Communion Sunday-the first Sunday of the month.  Petey came up to the alter rail with me to receive a blessing.  I like the idea of the whole family-even the ones who ware too young to receive communion taking part in the celebration of Christ.  After church Dad drove us to the farm to pick some vegetables for us.  Betty and Harold were still asleep but woke up while we were there.  Petey was very shy at first and wouldn't speak to Uncle Harold.  Then he relented a little (Harold said "Uncles aren't very popular today") and told him about "The Rescuers" and how "Tale of Two Critters".  Peter heard the boys talking and now he wants to go to "Star Wars", but I think it's too old for him.  Dad took Mom and me on a tour of the garden and picked us some squash, cabbage, and corn.  Then it was time to leave, and I had to persuade Pete to abandon trying to catch a duck with Richie.  Dad drove us home through Weiser, where we had lunch: a hotdog and milk for Pete, hamburgers and shakes for us.,  We stopped at Safeway on the way home and I got more milk, cube steak, packaged ham and chicken, and some coleslaw dressing.  Pete and I had long naps-I was exhausted.  Then we took Betty Phipps squash, beets, and corn, and I stayed for coffee.  Petey returned her little cars and wanted to play with the toy horses, but they were put away in the storeroom.  We hadn't been home long when Betty knocked, with the horses.  She'd dug them out for Pete, so he played "Lone Ranger and Tonto" while I cooked (corn, cube steak, and mushrooms...and I made coleslaw).  Then Pete had a bath.  Yellow Rabbit and Duckie had a birthday party in the tub, with the little boats for presents-and we made yellow rabbit stand up and float in Pete's blue boat.  Read him Hop On Pop  and A Visit to the Firehouse.  I reread Mrs. Arris Goes to Paris-very cheering.  He and I played that his grape juice was purple milk tonight.

Saturday, August 6th, 1977-In which Nancy does some babysitting and mulls a "special offer" on music lessons

Babysat for Sylvia until 1:30am.  Didn't get Pete resettled in bed at home till two.  Dave came by for us at 8:00pm-I was just feeding Petey since Sylvia had said they'd go at 9:00pm so I told him to come back in half an hour.  I gave Pete a baking soda bath tonight-it seems to be helping the prickly heat under his arms.  Just after Dave left, the phone rang.  Thelma said her father was back in the hospital.  They were giving him packed cell transfusions and she was leaving for Oklahoma tomorrow (She's going by bus-won't get there till Tuesday) so she couldn't take us to Boise Wednesday.  She was worried about calling John, but I told her I'd do it on Monday.  She said she'd send Pete a post card from Oklahoma.  Dave came back for us at 8:30pm and this time we were ready.  Little Davey cried a little when Mom and Dad left, but not for too long.  The children were a bit snappy tonight.  Sharon was saucy and Pete imitated her.  Pete brought little cars and Davey wanted them, but the other two took them away.  Sharon hit little Davey and I told her I'd spank her if she did it again.  She started, "you're not my boss", but I told her "While I'm here, I am", and she backed down-wasn't sure I'd carry through but didn't want to risk finding out.  All 3 of them went out in the backyard to play.  Sharon hung upside down from the swing set (in her nightgown), telling Petey "you musn't look at my underwear".  They built "roads" and got nice and dusty.  They came in and played Batman, Robin (Davey), and Batgirl.  Were very indignant that I wouldn't let them take the best bath towels for capes.  They were so tired that they were all 3 stretched out on the floor playing "prisoners" so I diapered little Davey (remembered to use two this time) and put him to bed with his bottle.  Then I read 101 Dalmatians and The Jungle Book (Walt Disney versions) to Pete and Sharon.  Sharon went to bed and was asleep while Davey still had his eyes open staring at the ceiling but he was quiet so I left him.  Then I read The Jungle Book to Petey again and put him to sleep on the couch.  I couldn't even make a cup of tea because there were no tea bags.  I read What Can You Do With a Kinkajou? which was supposed to be funny, but it reminded me nauseatingly of cleaning up after Lee's (Nancy's First Husband-PL) (anyone who mucks out  twenty seven horses and ten dogs has to be crazy).  Then I read part of an old Redbook.  Sylvia and Dave came in at 1:30am and said they were too tired to pay me, -they'd write me a check next week...they still owe me $2.10 from the last two times.  Had to wake Pete up to go home and by the time I got him settled in bed, it was 2am.  Got a letter from Frontier Music-If I pay Pete's beginning fee of $18.50  before August 20th, I get $3.50 off.  I f you pay for four month's lessons at once, it's "only" $54.00 instead of $60.00...but there's no way I could come up with that much.  Classes start September 8th-Thursdays at 2:00pm.  Must ask John about help for Pete's lessons on Monday-hope he finds some!

Context and Insight: I've said before that this has been a journey of discovery, and so it has.  Mom very rarely spoke about her first husband, Lee (Stewart, my birth father, was her second marriage), but it seems, regretfully, that she never really found the joy in a marital connection in her life, that I have found in my own,  As I understand it, the beginning of the end for her marriage to Lee was the night she awoke to use the restroom adjacent to their bedroom, and Lee, who was both a light sleeper and in the habit of keeping a hand gun under his pillow, was supposedly "startled" out of his slumber by her movements-resulting in him firing two shots into the door frame of the bathroom as she was about to exit.  Had things worked out only slightly differently, I wouldn't be typing these words today (suffice it to say, while I believe she admired those who used their weapons in the line of duty and at least respected those who handle fire arms responsibly, she herself was NOT an enthusiast-Peter).

August 5th, 1977-In which we learn not all that glitters is a "thunder egg"

Woke up late this morning.  To my surprise, Petey was still asleep.  We had our cereal together for once (two bowls of Total, the cereal with everything added).  Pete put on his underpants when he got up, but nothing else, as it was hot again (tho a bit gray and cloudy, so cooler than yesterday(.  I took a bath and washed my hair, keeping it wrapped up in a towel which Petey thought was great fun to pull off.  I stayed in my bathrobe.  Pete and I listened to Beethoven, Strauss, Bacharack, The Limelighters, Father Sydney MacEwan, and The Folk Tradition".  We played cars, combining all Betty Phipps' cars and most of Petey's-about 90 small cars.  I had lunch, liverwurst sandwich, pickles, cheese, yogurt-but Pete ate nothing at all.  Today was his Methatrexate day.  I felt ambitious today so I used my (unknown word) Debut Lotion and astringent, tried a slightly modified hairdo and dressed four times before I was satisfied with the result (finally settled on purple pants, pink t-shirt, and pink and purple scarf).  Was glad I had bothered because the doorbell rang and Betty came with the laundry, looking beautiful-as always-in pale pink.  Nobody who hasn't been through it knows the sorrow of having a pretty sister.  We had coffee and Betty told me she'd brought home a kitten and Dad had said "Which is it going to be, me or the cat?"  On the other hand, Dad wants to keep the ewe and breed her for lambs again next year and Betty is sick of sheep...Thank God Petey and I are by ourselves (it was hard enough to try housekeeping for Mom when she was mobile-she was jealous of Pete, accused me of theft and ransacked our room for a credit card Betty had borrowed-I lost 18 pounds in 3 months).  Petey "napped from 3 till 4:15, waking up for "Sesame Street".  I lay down but didn't sleep.  He decided he'd get dressed after "his programs".  He thinks the people on TV can see him but nobody else in the audience.  We played "Weeble's Vacation"-he went camping in the airplane and with the other Weeble Richie gave him.  The airplane was stolen and returned by police.  The camp was haunted.  The camp and Weeble were stolen by "bad guys"...but they staunchly decided to camp for fifteen days.  Then Pete got dressed and we started out for a tricycle walk, but we met Betty Phipps in her yard and she invited us for a ride in their new car.  We accidentally went to Nyssa so we went to their "Thunder Egg Days" celebration, "rock hounds" with every conceivable item of rock jewelry, ornaments, cut, uncut, slabs, you name it, they had it.  I bought Pete 4 rocks (2 @ 1 cent ea. for children under 10) and a jade ring I'd wanted for years ($1.50).  Betty bought a George Wallace button for Bill and we ate (Pete had a burrito) at the A&W.  Got home just before the storm.  Pete slept with a flashlight.

Context & Perspective:
This is another case of "I guess I should have known" and what should constitute an "honest portrayal"/true accounting versus an inherit tendency to "white wash" our own pasts.  At the end of the day, it only makes sense that there would be some sibling rivalry between Mom (the oldest) and her sister Betty (the youngest of 3).  I don't think my Amazing wife would necessarily admit it, but I sense some of the same struggles in her (as the oldest of 3 sisters).  Wendi needn't worry, though, she's far and away the most beautiful-certainly in my eyes...but I digress.  The troubling passage here is the uncovering of my Grandmother's feelings and behavior towards Mom and I.  To be fair, this would have been a time in Grandma Alice's life that was filled with pain-perhaps in combination with some dementia-that would have clouded her perceptions and influenced her actions.  It doesn't make it any easier to read (or to share), but it's an important piece of the puzzle that reflects all the internal struggles of our lives-of Nancy's life in particular-even when the surface activities seem routine.  I should also note that, later in life, when Mom was struggling with her own mental illness, she leveled similar accusations of theft and betrayal against me.  Again, not an easy thing to reconcile or move past easily, but important in the understanding of how we build and resolve our sense of "self".

-PL

Thursday, August 4th, 1977: In which a lot of reading takes place, Pete gets sun burnt, and Nancy takes solace in the mental health struggle of a friend

I've been on a reading binge lately-read Noon Ballon to Rangoon, but it wasn't as funny as Erasmus With Freckles.  Then I read two Winston Grahams; Take My Life and Woman In The Mirror-both very suspenseful with unexpected outcomes.  His plots have nice countertwists.  In the second the man who grips our sympathies turns out to be a double murderer, and in the first we know the villain from the beginning-only his apprehension is in doubt.  Then I read The Grand Duke And Mr. Pimm, the confrontation of clutch of fortune hunters (good guys) with another (bad guys)-fairly lighthearted with lots of instant romances.  Finally I read Hainings' anthology of archaic Scots' horror stories.  Clans of Darkness.  Some of them were pretty good at raising the (indecipherable-PL), so I'll try his Irish anthology next, tho I must admit some of the Scots stories put a strain on my vocabulary. 

Thelma called this morning at 9:00am and woke me.  She was on her way to the hospital for blood work.  She brought Tommy over to play with Pete while she was there and had a cup of coffee with me before she went up.  Tommy broke Pete's golf club but I found the missing piece and fixed it.  Thye played inside and out and Tommy painted a picture.  Thelma invited us to her house for lunch but I had to wait for the lady with the WIC coupons (she didn't come, unless she came while I was napping) and didn't go.  Peter went so I vacuumed the kitchen and some of the living room, scrubbed and mopped the bathroom, swept and mopped the bedroom, and partially mopped the playroom (too many toys on the floor to do a very good job-oh for some shelves!). 

Petey had fried chicken for lunch and had a temper tantrum at Thelma's because the kids were watching one program and he wanted "Sesame Street".  They told him it wasn't on yet, then showed him it wasn't on-but still he cried.  He told me he wanted to come home but not to talk about the bad part, the crying part.  He got painfully sun burnt at Thelma's.  I'd let him wear a tank top and they were out a lot.  He watched his favorite programs at home-went to sleep in the brown leather chair between "Electric Company" and Zoom".  I moved him and he got up again.  We played airplanes outside and Maria insisted we use her lawn chairs because sitting the damp grass is unhealthy-very nice of her.  We played "Batman and Robin" inside with the little cars, but we've lost Pete's "Batman" book-hunted every where for it.  We had cube steak for dinner and I gave Pete a bath with baking soda and rubbed a lot of Nivea (I need to buy more) on his burns.  He also caught the corner of his eye on the kitchen counter today-barely missed the eye itself.  We were both cross tonight (hot, no nap for Pete) but by time I'd read "What Time Is It Jeanne-Marie?" and Lobel's The Man Who Took The Inside Out, and we'd pretended our hands were stuck together with kisses and wished each other "sweet dreams and a "good night's sleep" we were friends again. 

Had a letter from Noreen today.  She had a nervous breakdown too.  Now I don't feel so alone.  She's still teaching, too.

Wednesday, August 3rd, 1977-in which the teddy bear is caught with toast in bed and Pete spends some time with Nature

Pete says there are are crumbs in his bed because as soon as we leave the house, Taybear jumps in his bed and eats toast.  But Taybear has promised not do do it anymore.  It was over a hundred again today and humid.  We slept late and put on as few clothes as possible.  Then I gave Pete a nice cool bath-not too deep.  I intended to take one afterwards and wash my hair but Pete wanted to go outside so he talked me out of it.  We both dressed (I wore a long sleeved shirt and jeans, Pete his long pants and a tank top) so as not to burn, and we took out Pete's "instruction" (he can't say "construction") toys that Dad gave him for Christmas.  We moved loads of dead leaves, bark, and dandelions and built "a trap for monkeys".  We played hide and seek in the jungle with his little stack up men.  Then we went inside for lunch.  Pete had some watermelon I cut up for him (he likes the seeds all taken out) and I had a liverwurst sandwich.  Pete's very excited because he can say "that hard number, thirteen".  And he can say "thirty" now-he'd been having trouble with the "th".  We didn't take our naps till 3:00pm and I set the alarm for 4:30pm so I could turn on Pete's programs.  He took his nap in the living room with his pillow on the beanbag chair-no blanket, too hot.  He watched "Sesame Street", "Mr. Rogers", and "Electric Company" (Spiderman was on today).  We watched part of (undecipherable-PL) about bi-lingual education because Pete liked "th school part".  Then we went out again.  This time with his fire engines Dad gave him and his airplanes.  We watched a tiny spider climbing blades of grass and drifting between them-for a few moments his thread got stuck on my finger but I transferred it to another blade of grass-and listened to the birds singing in the sycamore, but we couldn't see them.  Daniel came home and Pete ran to meet him.  He told Pete he'd been working in the mint fields all day (mint is supposed to be one of the most profitable crops grown here and the farmers have their own bees for pollination-each bee board branded with the owners mark.  There's even some theft of bee boards too). Yesterday's Argus had an article about the Fire Department's Emergency Medical Technicians/  I'm saving it for Carol Carr as she had a part in training them.  She still hasn't decided on whether to go back and visit her Dad (critically ill with cancer) or not.  She can't afford to take all the children but might go alone on the bus.