Thursday, August 18th, 1977-Another Day another Doctor's visit, plus an unwanted request from Stewart.

Thelma came for us at 10:30am, just after I'd gotten Pete out of his bath.  She brought him an Oklahoma football shirt just like her boys (Tommy and Jim both had theirs on, so we put Pete's on too).  The boys had something on their shoes, I don't know what , but they've left tracks all over my kitchen floor and I haven't the faintest notion how to get them off.  We got Pete's medicine out of the refrigerator and were off.  Thelma didn't know where Dr. Holt's office was so we had to spend a little time tracking it down (no asking Siri or checking Google Maps in those days!-PL).  Then we had to wait.  Tom, James, and Pete wandered into the crafts room at the convalescent Home where Dr. Holt has her offices and the lady in the charge gave them each some ceramics to paint.  Of course, it was a shrewd move on her part because Thelma and  then had to buy their ceramics since they couldn't be parted from them.  Pete's picture frame set me back $2.00, but he'd done a nice job of it and it did keep him happy and quiet till time for his IV's.  Dr. Holt used a 25 needle, found a tiny vein in his hand and got in on the first try.  Pete held perfectly still.  Dr. Holt said we'd better plan to bring him either to Weiser or MSTI for his IV's from now on because he just hasn't any good veins left.  She gave me a small cooler so we can pack his medicine in ice to transfer it.  We'll have to pick it up at the hospital, then take it with us-I just hope we don't have such a bad winter that traveling will be difficult.  Thelma stopped at Ashley's in Weiser and I used the $10.00 Dad had loaned me to buy Pete three pairs of pants (labeled "girls", but they were 6X and had elasticized waists as none of the boys pants fit) and 3 matching shirts in a size 10-all for $10.96.  We'd planned to go to the fair, but Thelma had to keep an appointment at Ore-Ida (this being pre HJ Heinz' buy out-PL).  After 4 years they told her they were firing her for being unreliable.  We stopped at Safeway, where I got some cigarettes and cashed a check, then then we went to the A&W for lunch and Pete had burrito and milk.  We went to John's office-explained to John again that I don't want Pete to start school this year-he really has trouble accepting that-gave him my letter to Stewart, and he gave me a letter, postcard, and photo of Pete's half-brothers and Stewart's step children that Stewart had sent to me.  The letter was "won't you come be a mother to my four children?"  John said he'd talk to Cliff Looney before sending my letter and the he'd end Stewart a copy of the advertisement from the Vale paper.  Talked to Glenn Morinaga briefly about dental care for Pete and me (I've got a toothache and Pete has never been to a dentist).  Then Thelma had to go to her meeting.  Pete and I got home just in time for his programs and I napped while he watched.  Then Thelma called-we couldn't go to the Fair tonight because she had another meeting at 7:00 pm and she was upset today, too, because either Monty or Jim had stolen some money out of her purse.  She gets upset but  she never seems to do anything about it except threaten.  Pete cried because we had to stay home but I explained at length how important jobs are.  Then we had dinner (hamburger, green beans, and melon again), and mike and Julie Warren came over to play.  They threw Pete's whistle up in a tree and couldn't get it down again so I had more tears.  They're too old and they come to play with Pete's toys, not him.  I listened to "Carmina Burana"  while they played.  Carol Carr came over tonight very late, her last visit before she leaves , and Pete and I are both sad she's going.  Pete was very grumpy (no nap) so I put him to bed and read Hey Elephant and Mr. Bernard the Robbers.  I read some of Night and Silence Who Do Here? by CP Snow's wife-and looked at the end.  Started the Lady and the Giant (the Cardiff Giant that is).

Wednesday, August 17th-1977 in which a check finally arrives, and Petey has a frustrating trip to the Emergency Room

My check finally came but I can't take it to the bank until Friday.  Dad's coming in then to take us.  We went to the Emergency Room today for Pete's IVs.  Our driver just took us and dropped us because she had to pick up another lady in Vale at 2:30pm.  I took the heating pad along and we tried warming Petey's feet again.  I suggested a 25 needle as Dr. Holt had, but the smallest they had was a 23.  Then the Emergency Room doctor and our nurses hunted for a vein.  But he had no good veinsin hands or feet.  There were only a deep vein in the arm and one in the forehead.  They tried for one in the hand but the nurse said it was just like a sunken ditch-couldn't get into it.  They called Dr. Baskerville but she was out of town and Linda Nelson was off-duty.  Finally they called Dr. Holt in Weiser and made an appointment for Pete at 11:30am tomorrow morning.  They gave me Pete's medicine (restored to its bottles) to take home and refrigerate and take with me tomorrow.  Then Terry Gough called Children's Services to arrange for a ride tomorrow.  Pete had a balloon and a pudding "treat" from the machine in the waiting room.  The pop machine was out of order and he'd had no lunch., tho a fattening pudding was the last thing he needed!  Pete was measured today and is 3'7".  After all the delays and arrangements, we had to take a cab home (we saw Marsha Dekker; her baby's due in 25 days).  I fed Pete alphabet soup and hot dogs (his choice).  At 3:00pm, he lay down in the living room on the bean bag chair , only to get up at 4:00pm for his programs.  Betty Baladez called to see if I wanted to enter Petey in Head Start, but I told her not till next year (his birthday is in November, near the cut-off date and I'd rather he were a little more mature to start school).  Marsha Dekker said she'd started late, and it had definitely been an advantage.  He'll have enough to do with Library Story Hour, music lessons, and Sunday School.  Our driver called to say could we leave at 10:30am because she doesn't know where the office is.  Went over to water Betty Phipps' houseplants, lawn, and flowers-took me nearly 3 hours of moving hoses.  Pete played outside till he tripped over tricycle and skinned his knee (not badly).  He stepped on my Tinker Toy firehouse and I pretended to cry so he patted me very gently.  Made Carol's salmon (poached in milk) for me-but Pete wanted a hamburger.  He did try the salmon tho.  Then Thelma called, just home.  She said she had presents for Pete and me, and did we want to go to the Fair.  I've been asking everywhere trying to find a way for Pete to go!  She might drive us to Weiser tomorrow.  Her father was at home while she was there so they had a good visit.  The kids had raised a ruckus while she was gone-tore the arm off her love seat, and Monty had been out drinking every night.  I finally finished moving hoses about 9:00pm and Petey yelled, "are you alright out there?!".  He's lost interest in watering.  Read him Farmer Palmer's Wagon Ride and When the Root Children Wake Up.  I read Murder at the Met (the murderer is suicide).

Tuesday, August 16th, 1977-In which Pete shows early promise as an engineer. learns a lesson in economics, and good friends pay a visit

Got Up this morning to find Pete making a railroad track.  He had cut the pieces out of construction paper and was gluing them between two halves of paper.  Since the project was already well0 advanced, we cut out a train, too, and invented paper "hooks" to hold the cars together.  I hadn't even known he could cut-the last time I watched him he just held the paper with the scissors and tore it.  But now he he can cut!  I'm always delighted when he acquires a new skill.  We waited for the mail but my check didn't come today either.  Dad cam in anyhow and we went to the library and Safeway.  Dad took Pete to Bonanza 88 while I went to the library.  I'd given Pete $1.00 out of his lion bank to buy himself a present, and, after much consideration (they were gone a long time) he bought himself for cans of Play-Doh instead of a little car.  I found a record of "Carmina Burana" (sp-PL) in the library, and a "train songs" record for Pete.  At Safeway, I filled a WIC coupon for milk and juice (I'm going to give Thelma some of those big cans of juice), and discovered that I still had $7.00 in a food stamp booklet so I got more hamburger and hot dogs and beans.  Dad had taken us to the A&W before Safeway and Pete cried because he wanted something to eat.  I said no and stuck with it, so he only had milk, but I got him to stop crying by giving him some of the ice cream out of my root beer float.  Then I explained to him that a burrito or a hot dog cost about the same as his Play Doh, and that whenever you buy one thing, you have to give up something else.  But when you eat a burrito or hot dog, it's gone, and the Play Doh is something you can keep.  I explained it a couple of times , slowly, and I think he understood.  Whether he understood or not, he did apologize to Dad for crying.  We got home just in time for "Seasame Street" and made hot dogs and beans together which Pete ate with one eye on the TV.  Then I lay down while he watched "Mr. Rogers" and "Electric Company".  I'm worried about my check-couldn't talk to John-he's in Salem till Thursday-and Patty was out doing field work.  Haven't had a chance to give John my letter from Stewart either.  I borrowed $10.00 from Dad, and took my $5.00 from emergency, but I can't pay the phone bill, the Department of Revenue, or Pete's music lessons.  We went outside tonight at 7:00pm and stayed out with GI Joe-We built him a house out of sycamore bark-airplanes, and trike until 9:00pm.  Pete rode his tricycle over the grass and followed Daniel along as he watered.  We had just come in and Peter had stripped, when the phone rang.  It was Carol Carr!  Pete jumped back into his clothes, and Carol and Gretchen came over.  They brought us a salmon and more shells for Pete, including a bigger one for Pete's Hermit Hermit crab. Carol and I had a good visit.  She's very happy with her new love, who has a 16 year old son  who's a super mechanic and fixed her car for her.  She told Petey she was thinking of sending him a package of wet sand so he could make a sand castle.  Poor Gretchen was car sick.  After they left, we had alphabet soup-Pete picked out the right can (I'm sure he can read a little)-and some of the fresh corn Dad brought.  Pete complained of his back hurting so I gave him 1/2 a Tylenol-he didn't have a fever.  Then I bathed him and read him Batman again and Farm Pets.  He planned to dream of sand castles tonight.  I read Phyllis McGinley's Sixpense in Her Shoe-hurrah for housewives!

Monday, August 15th, 1977-in which we visit the hospital and rehearse our emergency plans in case Stewart's threats ever turn real

Was awakened by a phone call at 8:30am-the transportation lady wanted to make sure we really needed a ride to the hospital.  She told me a Mr. Baker would be taking us and that Paul Gates would take us to Boise on the 18th.  She almost had me convinced that we had to go to Boise again but we're not due there till Sept. 7th (and then only for a CBC).  Pete an d I got ready.  Mr. Baker seemed kindly but a little slow, and he didn't have time to let us go to the cafeteria because he had to get home for his lunch.  Pete cried, but he cheered up and talked to Sister Angelica.  She counted his blood (he had over 6000 white cells today) while he watched, and then she showed him how to stain a slide and let him look at one under the microscope.  She said she's training him to be a lab technician.  I got Mr. Baker to drop us at the Dairy Queen and Pete had a corn dog while I ate a cheeseburger.  We walked home from there.  We took early naps and Pete started trying to wake me at 2:30pm but I just couldn't wake up.  I had a very vivid dream about Robert Belog (sp-PL) in which I stopped him from marrying "someone entirely unsuitable".  Finally  dragged myself awake in time to turn on "Lillias, Yoga, and You", and tried some of the exercises-not too energetically-I'm really out of condition.  Read part of Fair Exchange today, then looked at the ending to make sure it turned out the way I thought it did (the loving brother, heroic POW, is actually a Communist spy).  Pete watched "Sesasme Street" while I rested and we watched Mr. Rogers and Electric Company together-both Spiderman and Letterman (presumably NOT the late night host-PL) were on tonight.  Pete and I played Batman and Robin, acting out his book about the "Dynamic Duo", with Pete explaining to me how we could pretend our arms were capes.  Then Pete announced he was cooking dinner: green beans and hamburger-he did everything except opening the can of beans and turning the hamburger.  After we ate, I got Betty Phipps' hose (got Daniel to attach it for me) and Pete and I watered her flowers, put on the sprinkler, and left it to soak the lawn.  I put her mail inside, then couldn't get the lock to close (Daniel finally found it had to be snapped on the inside).  Pete got his tricycle out , then went to visit with Daniel and Maria-we sat in chairs on the front lawn again.  Then Julie and Mike Warren came over to play with Pete.  He raced his tricycle around the drive after their bicycles (there was one heart stopping moment when Probasco's drove in and I couldn't see Petey, but he was O.K.).  They played golf wit the clubs on the lawn.  It got dark so we came in and had some cantaloupe (cut up with the nice sharp knife Bill Phipps gave me).  Then Pete went to bed-early for him-at 10:30pm.  He said "Momma, I think Cliff Looney's going to put Stewart in jail.  He won't let Stewart kidnap us, will he Mommy?".  Went through our safety drill-name address, telephone number, NEVER get in a strange car, go to the police or "Paul Paul".  We practice for an emergency just in case Stewart 's threats are serious.  My period started.

Sunday, August 14th, 1977-in which Pete states a truth, a good sermon is heard, and Pete has his first motorcycle ride

Petey said "My daddy has temper tantrums!"  How true!  We went to church with Dad and Mom this morning.  Pastor was away again and Carl Willis gave the sermon-a rather good one I thought-on Christian Unity, about how the members of your own congregation were people you were planning to spend eternity with, and the necessity for unity within your own church before we talked about uniting churches, and the necessity for living Christianity.  Richie, Bryan, and Betty sat with us and Petey put his head in Richie's lap (yesterday he had his dollhouse dollies lined up to "listen to the sermon about pastor's vacation").  There was a brief meeting after church-so far the church has only been able to pay 1/2 pastor's salary this month , and that out of it's savings account.  I saw Marilyn Cates and arranged with her for Nicole to come over and play with Pete at 10:00am Friday morning (Marilyn is working afternoons, 1-6pm).  I also asked Betty if Bernie would take Petey fishing so he could use his pole Bernie gave him and she said maybe next week (he's going backpacking this week).  Then Dad went home to rescue his pickup from the hay field and pay for the hay.  Dad and Mom picked us up again and we went to "'Tucky Fried Chicken".  Pete had some of my mashed potatoes and gravy and coleslaw and was happy.  We took naps and got up for "The Muppet Show".  Then we started out on a "tricycle walk" and went around by the new City Hall (we'd started to watch "Wild Kingdom", but Pete didn't like the sharks).  We were coming down the block across the street from our house when an elderly lady came out and said "Hi!" to Pete so we stopped for a visit.  She'd just had a visit from her 3 sons (two retired from the Armed Forces) and one grandson, named Peter. and had been very excited by the reunion-the first in years, she said.  Suddenly a terrific windstorm came up and I rushed Pete and tricycle back home.  We watched "Six Million Dollar Man" (a rerun) and Pete sat on my lap because it was "scary".  Then he wanted to go outside to play so I took his Weebles (we stopped and Bonanza 88 and got us both more underwear and Pete more Weebles...and he lost a quarter and cried a little till I told him it happens to everybody), airplane, and GI Joe out-to discover him sitting with Daniel and Maria.  We had a nice visit.  Maria and I talked about cooking and Pete sat on Daniel's lap and we  talked of earthquakes, floods, places we had been...Then Daniel gave Pete a tomato and offered him some peppers.  I had just started to get his shoes so he could pick peppers, when Margaret Bunce came by with Erik to see if we'd like to go up to the Butte to see Jim and Richard ride motorcycles.  I got Pete's shoes, he picked his peppers, and off we went.  Pete and Erik threw rocks in the reservoir (I was afraid they'd fall in, but they didn't), Pete found lots of pet rocks, and, after he'd watched Erik, went for a ride with Richard on the motorcycle-his very first motorcycle ride-tho he's been fascinated by them for ages.  We had leftover chicken and coleslaw for dinner, Pete took a quick bath, after pretending his pet rocks were running away all over the house, and I read him Batman, Alec's Sand Castle, and 10 What?  I reread King John's Treasure today-didn't improve with rereading.  I've written to Stewart, some home truths, a thank you for the scissors, and a list of things Petey might like.  I hope he sends Pete something.

Saturday, August 13th, 1977...um...about that...

While, again, I recognize the impact of these entries is in their detail, full disclosure, and transparency, there was a LOT in this one that seemed really (I mean REALLY) personal.  Obviously there's some context here (4 &1/2 year old kid, it was 39 years ago, etc.), but, as previously stated, there are folks I still need to face in public and throughout the community, so I'm just gonna cut to the end..., sorry...-PL

We called Grandpa and arranged to go to "'Tucky Fried Chicken for lunch tomorrow, but first Dad has to go home from church and rescue his pickup from the hay field where it's stuck.  I finally asked Maria if there's space for another washer downstairs and she said yes, so I'll have to ask Pastor if last summer's offer is still good.  And Margaret Bunce said they have a swamp cooler we can have if it works.  Petey listened to "Rapunzel" tonight, and then I had to tell him the whole story of "The Rescuers" while we ate dinner.  He was really taken with the mice, Bernard and Bianca (I've always had an affinity for Bob Newhart as a comedian and an actor, no matter what he's been in-PL).  read him Traveling to Tripiti and Batman and Robin, Alfred to Zowie.  I read MASH goes to Montreal (not as funny as New Orleans), Hubbard's A Rooted Sorrow (repentant murderer) and James' An Unsuitable Job For A Woman.

Friday, August 12th, 1977

Patty came for us at 1:20pm.  She dropped me at Safeway and took Pete to Lion's Club Park to play for half an hour while I shopped.  I bought myself a present-MASH Goes to Montreal-I had read MASH Goes to New Orleans and found it very funny soI'm looking forward to this one.  I bought a lot of fruit yogurt, and Pete started to fuss and fuss at the checkout counter because I hadn't bought any plain.  He cried most of the way home and kept saying "we'll have to walk over to Safeway tonight after "Electric Company" and buy some."    I spent all but two dollars of my food stamps.  Good thing Monday is the 15th!  When we got home, I gave Pete yogurt and soup for lunch, and he discovered he like the fruit yougurt after all, which is what I told him in the first place.  I mailed letters to Carol Carr (including Pete's "Rabbit" string painting) and Noreen McGinley.  Patty brought me a letter from Stewart-oddly complimentary after the last ones0but he did offer to send Petey something, so I'll have to write him a note.  Pete should have something to remember his Dad by.  Stewart told me he'd send support money for Pete if I would sign an affadavit that none of it would be used to finance our divorce.  I doubt if he'll ever send any tho-he has a very good series of "what I'll do tomorrow" lines.  We napped for only an hour and then Pete watched his programs (I've promised to get up at 7:00am to turn on cartoons for him in the morning).  We took Pete's airplanes and Weebles out on the front lawn to play "Weeble's vacation...going camping".  While we were outside, the phone rang.  It was Maragaret Bunce who said she'd bring over her Bible Scdhool pictures to show us and could Pete go to the Dairy Queen for a treat?  She asked us to go to Payette to look at the ruins of the large fires they've had there this summer.  According to the Argus, the more recent one was started by an 11 year old playing with matches.  Along the way she told me more than I wanted to know about how her husband beat her and the children and last time she called Pastor Petravsek and Byron Chatfield (The District Attorney, who also goes to our church), and the ministerial organization paid for her and the children to go to a motel.  Then she told me she has a boyfriend, and stopped to see him in Payette on our way.  She took his son along with Erik and Pete, to look at the fire remnants.  Then we went to the park by the library.  Pete skineed his knees but went all the way up to the top of the slide and down for the frist time.  He was so pleased with himself, he had to do it 3 times.The squirrels there were very tame and came right up to us looking for food, but we had none.  I resented being "cover" for Margarets visit to her friend-and anyhow, I don't want to get entangled in any family violence-too dangerous-but Pete enjoyed himself.  When we got home, Daniel told us we'd just missed Dad, so I called him at the farm.  He'd stopped by on his way home from a church "work party".  Margaret offered to paper one wall of Pete's playroom for us and pay for it (kind, but I doubt Tuttle's would like the idea).  Fed Pete soup and hamburger-read him In a Spring Garden and Hop On Pop.  I ached all over today.  Wonder if it's a touch of summer flu?  I'll know tomorrow

August 11th 1977-in which Nancy receives an odd gift from Stewart and counts down the days to Divorce

Wrote long letters to Carol Carr and Noreen McGinley tonight.  Hadn't realized how much had happened in the last 6 years till I started trying to tell Noreen about it.  Finished reading Creasey's A Blast of Trumpets today and started Hebden's The Dark Side Of The Island, set in Scotland.  Also finished Hunger's Gently in the Highlands, also set in Scotland.  John Sandquist came over today and brought me a strange letter from Stewart, and an even stranger gift.  Stewart sent me a pair of left handed scissors!  Called Patty Baladez and asked her to take us to the grocery store tomorrow-we're almost out of milk.  Must defrost the refrigerator too-borrowed Dad's gadget for doing it in a hurry.  Pete took a bath today but no nap-John was here till almost time for his programs so after I fed him lunch, Pete got his pillow and "rested" while he watched "Lilias, Yoga and You", "Sesame Street", "Mr. Rogers Neighborhood", "Electric Company", and "Zoom".  Julie Warren came over tonight.  I got out Pete's finger paints, a ball of string, and some clean paper and they made string paintings.  Pete made a "rabbit" I enclosed in Carol Carr's letter then Julie and Pete played on the front lawn-tho Pete said Julie played mostly by herself..  She had Pete's little "dollies" and "Steve Austin" for a bionic family.  Which reminds me, Stewart said he was sending a thesis on Gene Coding Survival.  John said he phoned today to see if the scissors arrived and asked John if there were a Vietnamese Refugee program here, but didn't say why.  Cliff Looney told John he had started to advertise so it shouldn't be too much longer before the divorce goes through-maybe November.  Maria fried tomatoes and mushrooms along with our bacon and cheese omelet tonight.  Read Mousekins Winter and School for Sillies to Pete tonight.  He has a sore shoulder-walked into my cutting board.

Wednesday, August 10th, 1977-in which Nancy experiences a crisis of confidence, we make a trip to MSTI, and Pete takes an IV in the foot.

Linda Petravsek called this morning to ask me if I would teach Sunday School.  They don't have any teacher for the 4th, 5th, and 6th graders (she said combining those grades would only produce 7 students).  I told her I didn't have any way to get there and she said if transportation were guaranteed, would I do it?  So what could I do?  I said yes.  Then she asked me if I would do it for a whole year  but I said I couldn't promise because there might be a change in Pete's condition.  There will be a preschool class he can go into while I teach.  I have some pretty severe doubts about my ability but she said the manuals, like the Bible School ones, provide step by step instructions.  But, as a parent,I don't know if I'd like me teaching Sunday School-really the blind leading the blind.  But I can only try.  It's going to be a busy fall for us-the Library Story Hour and Pete's music lessons on Thursdays, Sunday School, plus our regular doctor and hospital visits.  At least Petey will have plenty of social life (hope it's not too much...every contact with another child is an added risk, but he's going to be around other children when he starts school anyhow...).   Paul Gates picked us up at 11:00am.  While we were driving it turned out he knows Dave Loebach and considers him the best electrician at Lloyd's.We stopped first at McDonald's.  Pete had a hamburger and milk, I had a Big Mac, fries, cherry pie, and a chocolate shake.  Gave Pete a bite of the fries and pie.  Then we stopped at St. Alphonsus Hospital so Paulo could visit a friend of his, Lola Gonzales, who has throat cancer.  Then we went on to MSTI.  Pete had his blood work (under protest, and his finger bled a lot today) and got a top and a helicopter out of the toy drawer.  We were early (got there at 2:00pm for our 2:40pm appointment) so Pete got to play for a while with the toys in the corner upstairs.  Then we went downstairs to wait again and Pete did a puzzle and played with the giant Legos.  He weighed 46.4 lbs today.  Dr. Holt checked him over and said he looked fine-asked about his blood count since Dr. Bakserville had been concerned.  She looke for a vein and Pete cried.  Then she said his feet were icy and had his feet and legs wrapped in a heating pad, and finally found a good vein in his foot (she only had to stick him twice).  She told me to tell Holy Rosary to try a heating pad or towels soaked in hot water-I told her I'd take my heating pad along to the hospital.  Pete cried but didn't move his foot once the IV was in (she said to tell them to try a 25 needle too).  Our next appointment, September 7th, is just for a C.B.C.  I asked her about preventing pneumonia and she said if they knew what caused the protozoan kind he had, she'd get a Nobel Prize.  But maybe later they can give him Septra as a preventative.  Then he had a nice visit with the social worker, who drew him some trains, gave him a felt tip pen to draw more, and told me she considered him "near genius" (boy, if only that had stuck!-PL).  The trip home was hot and dusty-I got painfully sun burnt and Pete sat on me all the time both ways.  Sylvia called and came over just as we got home.  She paid me $5.85 for babysitting and asked me to sit next Thursday.  Then Lorraine Bennett brought over a hamburger for me and a hot dog for Pete since she hadn't time to go out and we had a picnic on the lawn.  Played with Pete and read him Batman, the Firehouse Book and Alice's Sand Castle (he thought he'd dream about that).

Tuesday, August 9th, 1977-in which two Weebles are fine but four are not enough

The morning seemed to fly by.  Dad picked us up at 1:00pm to run our errands.  We went first to Ontario Pharmacy, where I left my Melaril to be refilled.  Then we went to the bank.  I deposited the $5.00 Leslie gave Pete in his savings account which is now up to $58.00-almost enough for his bicyclye...but his music lessons are likely to set me back a chunk.  I cashed a check for $10.00 to pay for our trip to Boise tomorrow.  I went to the library and Dad took Petey to the park for an hour while I got my books in blissful peace.  I also got a record of Koto music (?-PL) I think Pete will enjoy.  He loves guitar music.  He checked out for himself a book of Haiku illustrated by Ezra Jack Keats.  I think we'll read it while I play the record.  Dad needed to go to Bonanza 88, so I gave Pete $1.00 to buy himself a present.  He got two Weebles (and after he got home, wept because he wanted more Weebles to fill up his airplane. He was happy with two, but he's unhappy with four).  Then we treated Dad to a root beer float at the A&W.  Petey had milk.  We stopped at Safeway where I got a carton of cigarettes, but my pictures hadn't come back yet.  Then we picked up my medicine and came home.  I turned on the TV for Pete-it was 7:00pm time for his programs-and I lay down.  In the early evening, Julie Warren came over to play with Pete.  Then Vicky Plaza came by (she told Julie she'd been held back a grade-I think we'll do better letting Pete start late).  Then Michael Warren came over.  They had Weebles and airplanes, dolls, and Pete's golf set out on the lawn.  Dad made the church council meeting.  I called John Sandquist today-he's trying to find some help for Pete's music lessons...and we'll need transport there and to the library story hour (they're both going to be on Thursday so that will be a full day for Pete).  Paul Gates is taking us to Boise.  He wants to leave at 11:00am so he can visit a friend at St. Alphonsus (This still being in Boise, before St. Al's took on Holy Rosary Medical Center in Ontario-PL).  I had a long letter today from Carol CDarr and my British History Illustrated came in with the wrong address still.    Lorraine Bennet called and we plan to go out with her tomorrow night.  Pete and I both bathed and washed our hair.  I read Pete Hey, Elephant, a Raggedy Andy story and In a Spring Garden (haiku).  I read Fair With Rain and Who Goes Hang.  Have worked up to the "J's" now.

Monday, August 8th 1977-in which blood is taken, a storm door fixed, and Stewart makes a dubious promise

Got Pete ready for his blood test.  Before we were dressed there was a knock at the door.  Someone had finally come to fix our storm door.  I got the panel that come out off the back porch and Mr. Nelson spent some time trying to figure out how to put it in.  Then he went away to telephone the Tuttles.  Leslie came  by to pick us up.  Pete and I went up to the lab together and, as usal, he spent some time with the lab technicians.  He had his Batman book with him and was showing Shirley Kimball how well he knew his colors.  Her mother was there (she lives only 3 blocks from us) so Pete got officially introduced and said hello.  The lab had several rush jobs so I took Pete out to the waiting room.  He told me to stay there and went in all by himself (he said next time he'd let watch).  Then we met Leslie in the first floor waiting room and we all went down to the cafeteria.  Pete had roast pork and a small helping of mashed potatoes and gravy.  I had lasagna and a piece of chocolate cake (it fell on my tray when I was trying to get out a piece of pie, so I took it).  I gave Pete a bite.  When we got home Leslie gave Pete an envelope-it had $5.00 in it to put toward his bicycle.  She starts work next Monday, so she won't be able to take us again.  When Pete and I got home he wanted to play fire engine.  Then he went over to Betty Phipps' house.  Bill was feeling sick and wanted to sleep so I told Pete to come home.  He refused so I picked him up, carried him home (screaming) and spanked him.  Then I explained to him, carefully, several times, tha if he din't come home when I told him so, I wouldnt let him go visiting any more.  I think he finally understood.  Then Mr. Nelson came back to put on a new door,  Turned out he knows Dad.  Petey got his tool kit and "helped".  I let him watch, but tried to keep him out of the way.  Mr. Nelson took both old storm doors off Betty Phipps' house too, but said they won't be able to replace hers for 2 to 3 days.  It was 3:00pm when Mr. Nelson finished the door (the chain had been put on wrong on the old one).  I put Petey down for an hour's nap and set the alarm so we'd wake up for "his" programs.  After watching "Sesame Street", "Mr. Rogers", and "Electric Company" he went outside to play.  Then Betty came over with the photos Joanie had taken while they were here.  Then she gave me one of Petey taking Danny the Puppet (a marionette style doll owned by Betty Phipps-PL)on a tricycle ride.  She came out in front and we visited while Pete played "Weebles Vacation".  Then Daniel came home and Pete ran over and hugged him.  Daniel moved the hoses and Pete had a great time squelching in the wet grass.  Then Julie and Michael from Bible School came over to play with Pete.  I had to heat his dinner twice because they went away and came back again two times while I was trying to get him to eat.    They lost Weeble in the grass but we found him again.  Then Julie lost her bow and came back for it.    At 10:00pm, I sent them home because "their mother would be worried" (well, I would have been) and Petey had to eat.  They asked what would be a good time to play and I told them about six o clock tomorrow night.  Called Dad-we'll go "errand running" about 1:00pm tomorrow.  Called John Sandquist and he said he had another letter from Stewart for me.  Stewart's promise to pay child support but I'm sure he won't.

Sunday, August 7th, 1977-in which Nancy Takes Communion, we take a visit to the farm, and mom debates letting me see Star Wars

Dad phoned at what I thought was 9:00am this morning to tell me they were on their way for church.  It seems our power had been off for 45 minutes.  I remember waking in the night to find the bathroom light off, and thinking "I'll have to get Dad to change the bulb".  I told Dad we couldn't possibly be ready but he said they'd stop by on their way in anyhow, just on the off chance.  Petey rushed into his good suit and added a dash of the after shave lotion Betty Phipps gave him.  I was going to just send Pete with my collection envelope, but then I decided to dress, too.  Dad arrived before I was ready and I was going to send him on with Pete, but he said he'd wait, so I got to church after all (alas, with no stockings again-I hadn't time to put any on).  I was glad because today was Communion Sunday-the first Sunday of the month.  Petey came up to the alter rail with me to receive a blessing.  I like the idea of the whole family-even the ones who ware too young to receive communion taking part in the celebration of Christ.  After church Dad drove us to the farm to pick some vegetables for us.  Betty and Harold were still asleep but woke up while we were there.  Petey was very shy at first and wouldn't speak to Uncle Harold.  Then he relented a little (Harold said "Uncles aren't very popular today") and told him about "The Rescuers" and how "Tale of Two Critters".  Peter heard the boys talking and now he wants to go to "Star Wars", but I think it's too old for him.  Dad took Mom and me on a tour of the garden and picked us some squash, cabbage, and corn.  Then it was time to leave, and I had to persuade Pete to abandon trying to catch a duck with Richie.  Dad drove us home through Weiser, where we had lunch: a hotdog and milk for Pete, hamburgers and shakes for us.,  We stopped at Safeway on the way home and I got more milk, cube steak, packaged ham and chicken, and some coleslaw dressing.  Pete and I had long naps-I was exhausted.  Then we took Betty Phipps squash, beets, and corn, and I stayed for coffee.  Petey returned her little cars and wanted to play with the toy horses, but they were put away in the storeroom.  We hadn't been home long when Betty knocked, with the horses.  She'd dug them out for Pete, so he played "Lone Ranger and Tonto" while I cooked (corn, cube steak, and mushrooms...and I made coleslaw).  Then Pete had a bath.  Yellow Rabbit and Duckie had a birthday party in the tub, with the little boats for presents-and we made yellow rabbit stand up and float in Pete's blue boat.  Read him Hop On Pop  and A Visit to the Firehouse.  I reread Mrs. Arris Goes to Paris-very cheering.  He and I played that his grape juice was purple milk tonight.

Saturday, August 6th, 1977-In which Nancy does some babysitting and mulls a "special offer" on music lessons

Babysat for Sylvia until 1:30am.  Didn't get Pete resettled in bed at home till two.  Dave came by for us at 8:00pm-I was just feeding Petey since Sylvia had said they'd go at 9:00pm so I told him to come back in half an hour.  I gave Pete a baking soda bath tonight-it seems to be helping the prickly heat under his arms.  Just after Dave left, the phone rang.  Thelma said her father was back in the hospital.  They were giving him packed cell transfusions and she was leaving for Oklahoma tomorrow (She's going by bus-won't get there till Tuesday) so she couldn't take us to Boise Wednesday.  She was worried about calling John, but I told her I'd do it on Monday.  She said she'd send Pete a post card from Oklahoma.  Dave came back for us at 8:30pm and this time we were ready.  Little Davey cried a little when Mom and Dad left, but not for too long.  The children were a bit snappy tonight.  Sharon was saucy and Pete imitated her.  Pete brought little cars and Davey wanted them, but the other two took them away.  Sharon hit little Davey and I told her I'd spank her if she did it again.  She started, "you're not my boss", but I told her "While I'm here, I am", and she backed down-wasn't sure I'd carry through but didn't want to risk finding out.  All 3 of them went out in the backyard to play.  Sharon hung upside down from the swing set (in her nightgown), telling Petey "you musn't look at my underwear".  They built "roads" and got nice and dusty.  They came in and played Batman, Robin (Davey), and Batgirl.  Were very indignant that I wouldn't let them take the best bath towels for capes.  They were so tired that they were all 3 stretched out on the floor playing "prisoners" so I diapered little Davey (remembered to use two this time) and put him to bed with his bottle.  Then I read 101 Dalmatians and The Jungle Book (Walt Disney versions) to Pete and Sharon.  Sharon went to bed and was asleep while Davey still had his eyes open staring at the ceiling but he was quiet so I left him.  Then I read The Jungle Book to Petey again and put him to sleep on the couch.  I couldn't even make a cup of tea because there were no tea bags.  I read What Can You Do With a Kinkajou? which was supposed to be funny, but it reminded me nauseatingly of cleaning up after Lee's (Nancy's First Husband-PL) (anyone who mucks out  twenty seven horses and ten dogs has to be crazy).  Then I read part of an old Redbook.  Sylvia and Dave came in at 1:30am and said they were too tired to pay me, -they'd write me a check next week...they still owe me $2.10 from the last two times.  Had to wake Pete up to go home and by the time I got him settled in bed, it was 2am.  Got a letter from Frontier Music-If I pay Pete's beginning fee of $18.50  before August 20th, I get $3.50 off.  I f you pay for four month's lessons at once, it's "only" $54.00 instead of $60.00...but there's no way I could come up with that much.  Classes start September 8th-Thursdays at 2:00pm.  Must ask John about help for Pete's lessons on Monday-hope he finds some!

Context and Insight: I've said before that this has been a journey of discovery, and so it has.  Mom very rarely spoke about her first husband, Lee (Stewart, my birth father, was her second marriage), but it seems, regretfully, that she never really found the joy in a marital connection in her life, that I have found in my own,  As I understand it, the beginning of the end for her marriage to Lee was the night she awoke to use the restroom adjacent to their bedroom, and Lee, who was both a light sleeper and in the habit of keeping a hand gun under his pillow, was supposedly "startled" out of his slumber by her movements-resulting in him firing two shots into the door frame of the bathroom as she was about to exit.  Had things worked out only slightly differently, I wouldn't be typing these words today (suffice it to say, while I believe she admired those who used their weapons in the line of duty and at least respected those who handle fire arms responsibly, she herself was NOT an enthusiast-Peter).

August 5th, 1977-In which we learn not all that glitters is a "thunder egg"

Woke up late this morning.  To my surprise, Petey was still asleep.  We had our cereal together for once (two bowls of Total, the cereal with everything added).  Pete put on his underpants when he got up, but nothing else, as it was hot again (tho a bit gray and cloudy, so cooler than yesterday(.  I took a bath and washed my hair, keeping it wrapped up in a towel which Petey thought was great fun to pull off.  I stayed in my bathrobe.  Pete and I listened to Beethoven, Strauss, Bacharack, The Limelighters, Father Sydney MacEwan, and The Folk Tradition".  We played cars, combining all Betty Phipps' cars and most of Petey's-about 90 small cars.  I had lunch, liverwurst sandwich, pickles, cheese, yogurt-but Pete ate nothing at all.  Today was his Methatrexate day.  I felt ambitious today so I used my (unknown word) Debut Lotion and astringent, tried a slightly modified hairdo and dressed four times before I was satisfied with the result (finally settled on purple pants, pink t-shirt, and pink and purple scarf).  Was glad I had bothered because the doorbell rang and Betty came with the laundry, looking beautiful-as always-in pale pink.  Nobody who hasn't been through it knows the sorrow of having a pretty sister.  We had coffee and Betty told me she'd brought home a kitten and Dad had said "Which is it going to be, me or the cat?"  On the other hand, Dad wants to keep the ewe and breed her for lambs again next year and Betty is sick of sheep...Thank God Petey and I are by ourselves (it was hard enough to try housekeeping for Mom when she was mobile-she was jealous of Pete, accused me of theft and ransacked our room for a credit card Betty had borrowed-I lost 18 pounds in 3 months).  Petey "napped from 3 till 4:15, waking up for "Sesame Street".  I lay down but didn't sleep.  He decided he'd get dressed after "his programs".  He thinks the people on TV can see him but nobody else in the audience.  We played "Weeble's Vacation"-he went camping in the airplane and with the other Weeble Richie gave him.  The airplane was stolen and returned by police.  The camp was haunted.  The camp and Weeble were stolen by "bad guys"...but they staunchly decided to camp for fifteen days.  Then Pete got dressed and we started out for a tricycle walk, but we met Betty Phipps in her yard and she invited us for a ride in their new car.  We accidentally went to Nyssa so we went to their "Thunder Egg Days" celebration, "rock hounds" with every conceivable item of rock jewelry, ornaments, cut, uncut, slabs, you name it, they had it.  I bought Pete 4 rocks (2 @ 1 cent ea. for children under 10) and a jade ring I'd wanted for years ($1.50).  Betty bought a George Wallace button for Bill and we ate (Pete had a burrito) at the A&W.  Got home just before the storm.  Pete slept with a flashlight.

Context & Perspective:
This is another case of "I guess I should have known" and what should constitute an "honest portrayal"/true accounting versus an inherit tendency to "white wash" our own pasts.  At the end of the day, it only makes sense that there would be some sibling rivalry between Mom (the oldest) and her sister Betty (the youngest of 3).  I don't think my Amazing wife would necessarily admit it, but I sense some of the same struggles in her (as the oldest of 3 sisters).  Wendi needn't worry, though, she's far and away the most beautiful-certainly in my eyes...but I digress.  The troubling passage here is the uncovering of my Grandmother's feelings and behavior towards Mom and I.  To be fair, this would have been a time in Grandma Alice's life that was filled with pain-perhaps in combination with some dementia-that would have clouded her perceptions and influenced her actions.  It doesn't make it any easier to read (or to share), but it's an important piece of the puzzle that reflects all the internal struggles of our lives-of Nancy's life in particular-even when the surface activities seem routine.  I should also note that, later in life, when Mom was struggling with her own mental illness, she leveled similar accusations of theft and betrayal against me.  Again, not an easy thing to reconcile or move past easily, but important in the understanding of how we build and resolve our sense of "self".

-PL

Thursday, August 4th, 1977: In which a lot of reading takes place, Pete gets sun burnt, and Nancy takes solace in the mental health struggle of a friend

I've been on a reading binge lately-read Noon Ballon to Rangoon, but it wasn't as funny as Erasmus With Freckles.  Then I read two Winston Grahams; Take My Life and Woman In The Mirror-both very suspenseful with unexpected outcomes.  His plots have nice countertwists.  In the second the man who grips our sympathies turns out to be a double murderer, and in the first we know the villain from the beginning-only his apprehension is in doubt.  Then I read The Grand Duke And Mr. Pimm, the confrontation of clutch of fortune hunters (good guys) with another (bad guys)-fairly lighthearted with lots of instant romances.  Finally I read Hainings' anthology of archaic Scots' horror stories.  Clans of Darkness.  Some of them were pretty good at raising the (indecipherable-PL), so I'll try his Irish anthology next, tho I must admit some of the Scots stories put a strain on my vocabulary. 

Thelma called this morning at 9:00am and woke me.  She was on her way to the hospital for blood work.  She brought Tommy over to play with Pete while she was there and had a cup of coffee with me before she went up.  Tommy broke Pete's golf club but I found the missing piece and fixed it.  Thye played inside and out and Tommy painted a picture.  Thelma invited us to her house for lunch but I had to wait for the lady with the WIC coupons (she didn't come, unless she came while I was napping) and didn't go.  Peter went so I vacuumed the kitchen and some of the living room, scrubbed and mopped the bathroom, swept and mopped the bedroom, and partially mopped the playroom (too many toys on the floor to do a very good job-oh for some shelves!). 

Petey had fried chicken for lunch and had a temper tantrum at Thelma's because the kids were watching one program and he wanted "Sesame Street".  They told him it wasn't on yet, then showed him it wasn't on-but still he cried.  He told me he wanted to come home but not to talk about the bad part, the crying part.  He got painfully sun burnt at Thelma's.  I'd let him wear a tank top and they were out a lot.  He watched his favorite programs at home-went to sleep in the brown leather chair between "Electric Company" and Zoom".  I moved him and he got up again.  We played airplanes outside and Maria insisted we use her lawn chairs because sitting the damp grass is unhealthy-very nice of her.  We played "Batman and Robin" inside with the little cars, but we've lost Pete's "Batman" book-hunted every where for it.  We had cube steak for dinner and I gave Pete a bath with baking soda and rubbed a lot of Nivea (I need to buy more) on his burns.  He also caught the corner of his eye on the kitchen counter today-barely missed the eye itself.  We were both cross tonight (hot, no nap for Pete) but by time I'd read "What Time Is It Jeanne-Marie?" and Lobel's The Man Who Took The Inside Out, and we'd pretended our hands were stuck together with kisses and wished each other "sweet dreams and a "good night's sleep" we were friends again. 

Had a letter from Noreen today.  She had a nervous breakdown too.  Now I don't feel so alone.  She's still teaching, too.

Wednesday, August 3rd, 1977-in which the teddy bear is caught with toast in bed and Pete spends some time with Nature

Pete says there are are crumbs in his bed because as soon as we leave the house, Taybear jumps in his bed and eats toast.  But Taybear has promised not do do it anymore.  It was over a hundred again today and humid.  We slept late and put on as few clothes as possible.  Then I gave Pete a nice cool bath-not too deep.  I intended to take one afterwards and wash my hair but Pete wanted to go outside so he talked me out of it.  We both dressed (I wore a long sleeved shirt and jeans, Pete his long pants and a tank top) so as not to burn, and we took out Pete's "instruction" (he can't say "construction") toys that Dad gave him for Christmas.  We moved loads of dead leaves, bark, and dandelions and built "a trap for monkeys".  We played hide and seek in the jungle with his little stack up men.  Then we went inside for lunch.  Pete had some watermelon I cut up for him (he likes the seeds all taken out) and I had a liverwurst sandwich.  Pete's very excited because he can say "that hard number, thirteen".  And he can say "thirty" now-he'd been having trouble with the "th".  We didn't take our naps till 3:00pm and I set the alarm for 4:30pm so I could turn on Pete's programs.  He took his nap in the living room with his pillow on the beanbag chair-no blanket, too hot.  He watched "Sesame Street", "Mr. Rogers", and "Electric Company" (Spiderman was on today).  We watched part of (undecipherable-PL) about bi-lingual education because Pete liked "th school part".  Then we went out again.  This time with his fire engines Dad gave him and his airplanes.  We watched a tiny spider climbing blades of grass and drifting between them-for a few moments his thread got stuck on my finger but I transferred it to another blade of grass-and listened to the birds singing in the sycamore, but we couldn't see them.  Daniel came home and Pete ran to meet him.  He told Pete he'd been working in the mint fields all day (mint is supposed to be one of the most profitable crops grown here and the farmers have their own bees for pollination-each bee board branded with the owners mark.  There's even some theft of bee boards too). Yesterday's Argus had an article about the Fire Department's Emergency Medical Technicians/  I'm saving it for Carol Carr as she had a part in training them.  She still hasn't decided on whether to go back and visit her Dad (critically ill with cancer) or not.  She can't afford to take all the children but might go alone on the bus.

Tuesday, August 2nd, 1977

Today was very hot again (Daniel told me that yesterday it was 103 degrees), and we had a long day.  Dr. Baskerville's office called this morning and said Pete could go back to his regular medication.  Then the new public health nurse, ad Mrs. Reeves, called and she came by to see Petey at 11:00.  That meant a little rushing around to get dressed since we hadn't bothered when we got up.  She said her 3 children had all had music lessons at Frontier Music and she thought they were very good.  Pete showed her his organ and she told him a story about "little boy c taking a walk up the scales with his mother, then by himself, and his neighbor, Mr. D. who lived between two black trees, helping him get home.". Pete ate his piece of cold chicken and I had a liverwurst sandwich.  Then Dad came at one.  He brought me a beautiful long blue dress from Betty.  I had been part of her Trousseau but didn't fit her-it has an embroidered smocked top0an empire3 waist line.  I wrote Mr. Tuttle a note about the broken front door and enclosed it with my check for the rent.  Dad took us to the bank (put another $10 in Pete's savings account), the ost office, the Prudential office, and Payless Drug.  I bought a lot there and I thought the clerk said $5.95 (beautiful daydream) but it came to $12.95 (ABDEC vitamins, cigarettes, tampons, toothpaste, and a Batman and Robin book for Pete because he was playing Batman this morning with kitchen towel for his cape).  Then we went to the library (I finished the G's and the H's to Harrington) and to Safeway (They were out of Edwards coffee and there was no one in the office to ask if my pictures had come).  Dad bought Pete two suckers-I took them away from him to "save for a special treat" since the bank had already given him a sucker.  Then we went to the A&W-Dad and I had root beer floats and Pete had a hamburger (but I ate most it) and milk.  By the time we got home it was 4:30pm so I put Pete's pillow and blanket in the living room and turned on "Sesame Street".  Then I went to sleep-so did Pete.  He slept through "Electric Company" and cried and cried till I got him interested in "Happy Days" (I wanted to watch Jack Benny but Pete didn't) and "Lavern and Shirley"".  "M*A*S*H*" was a rerun so we went outside.  Sylvi8a had called me to babysit while she went to ceramics class but Dave got home and called to say they weren't coming.  But while we were playing with Pete's airplanes, Dave drove up with Sharon and little Davey.  He had to go to Midvale, so he left them with me (with not even a spare diaper for Davey).  They played (more kitchen towel capes) outside and then in till 10:30 when I finally got Sylvia on the phone.  She stopped for a cup of coffee when she picked up the kids so Pete and I didn't eat dinner till after 11 (I'd given each of the kids a slice of bologna and some milk). I cooked carrots.  I finally got him to bed at 12:00 Midnight.We read The Monkey's Tale and his Batman book.  I read Dove Cottage today-supposed to be funny but it depressed me.  Sylvia's thinking of going home to England for Christmas now.

Monday, August 1st 1977-in which Pete learns a valuable lesson about how others can be.

Today was Howard's Birthday.  I mailed his card today because I only realized yesterday that July was over.  I kept thinking it was June, trying to keep my summer from rushing by so fast, I guess.  Poor Petey-Vicky called and then came over today.  She brought her cousin Jill with her.  They ate Pete's candy, chewed Pete's gum, played with with Pete's electric train...then Vicky invited Pete to her house so I put on his shoes and they left.  A few minutes later they were back.  Jill had decided she didn't want to play with Pete so Vicky brought him home.  His feelings were so hurt he wouldn't even say goodbye to Vicky at the door-or look at her.  But he held his head up and didn't cry.  I played cars with him.  I may not be quite as good as playmates his own age, but I did succeed in distracting him.  Leslie took us up to the hospital this morning for Pete's blood test.  I stayed with him this time (I must call Dr. Baskerville in the morning and find out about his medication).  We had lunch in the cafeteria-Pete had fried chicken, green beans, jello, and milk.  I had stuffed peppers and cherry pie (I saved Pete "a bite at the bottom" of the pie).  We saved one of the pieces of chicken and wrapped it in a napkin to take home.  The young trainee who sat with us was very sad because he'd had to get rid of his black Labrador.  It had been killing cats and killed a puppy yesterday.  Unfortunately, once they've stated killing, it seems to be an irreversible impulse.  Leslie stopped at Safeway on the way home and Pete stayed in the car while I filled a WIC coupon so we'd have milk for our cereal.  Thelma called-thought she might come over this afternoon but didn't make it.  We napped, then I washed dishes (all eight plates were dirty) and dusted the book cases and some of the books-it was a treated cloth so maybe that wasn't too wise but I don't think it hurt the books.  I mailed a letter to Carol Carr from me and one from Petey today too.  And I scrubbed Hermit Crab's bowl and shells so he was "shiny clean".  Pete painted a picture for Carol today and got brown paint in his hair so he washed his hair in the bath tonight and cried because the rinse water "made him get an eyelash in his eye".  We read Henry Goes Exploring and 10 What? tonight and I finally finished Barbara Mishaed's (sp?) The Sea King's Daughter.  I've been reading it in bits for 3 months now.

Sunday, July 31st 1977 In which we give "The Rescuers" another go.

We went to church with Dad and Mom this morning.  Margaret Bunce didn't come after all so I didn't get to see the Bible School pictures.  Dad took us to Safeway after church so I was able to get some more meat, ketchup, and mustard.  Forgot the milk so I'll try to fill a WIC coupon tomorrow.  Pete stayed in the car with Grandpa and Grandma and Dad let him "drive" the car.  He loves to pretend he can drive.  We took early naps right after chu8rch and had dinner late.  Vicky called Pete to come over and play but there wasn't time before he got ready for the show.  Sylvia came over early, about 6:30pm, and we had a cup of coffee together before taking Pete and Sharon to the show.  She paid me all but 34 cents for babysitting the night she and Dave went out.  We had root beer all round.  I visited the Ladies room but one of the toilets was stopped up and the floor was flooded so I was glad neither Pete nor Sharon had to go.  "Tale Of Two Critters" was first this time.  Pete really enjoyed it-especially when the racoon trapped a mouse in a hollow log and, feeling through the holes in the log, pulled out a skunk's tail and got sprayed for his pains.  Then the skunk moved in to hibernate in the bear's den and the racoon was out of luck again.  The separation for the Winter dissolves their affiliation, but they retain enough of their shared experience, traveling down the river on a log, not to become enemies.  Then came "The Rescuers" with the mice Bernard (Bob Newhart's voice) and Bianca (Eva Gabor's voice) .  They enlist an albatross to fly them to "Devil's Bay" and foil the vicious "Madame Medusa".  The4y rescue Penny, the orphan, recover the fabulous "Devil's Eye" diamond, and., at the end of the movie are on their way to effect another rescue (as star members of the mice's "Rescue Aid Society").  Unfortunately for the superstitious Bernard, their second journey begins on Friday the 13th.  Pete thought it was pretty scary (he didn't like Medusa's tame crocodiles) and sat on my lap for about half the movie, but he did like it better this time and laughed a lot at the funny parts.  I think I might have some of the Margery Sharp paperback "Miss Bianca" books illustrated by Garth Williams in the books I haven't unpacked yet.  I should have a complete set of Charles Dickens too.  Wish I had some proper book cases-the brick and board ones take up too much room and have to be too low to hold many books.  Saving up for more cases is my next project, and a dresser and new drapes for Pete's playroom...and an opaque curtain for the front hall window.  There are so many things I'd like to do to this place, but they all have to wait on Pete's bicycle and music lessons.  Sylvia almost ran out of gas so Dave drove us home from their place (went out on the highway to get gas first).  Thelma called-we may see her tomorrow.

Saturday, July 30 1977

Betty woke me up this morning arriving at the door with the laundry...that is, Pete woke me up to answer the door and let her in.  We had coffee together and after she left Pete and I watched cartoons.  Vicky Plaza came over before Pete had dressed.  They watched TV and set up Pete's electric train in the kitchen.  They played until just before three (making the tracks into snakey curves so the train would go crooked).  When I finally sent her home so Pete and could have lunch (hamburgers and watermelon).  Then I put Pete down for his nap where I read Paul Gallico's The Hand of Mary Constable.  I read his Too Many Ghosts yesterday.  They both involved a specialist investigator of "psychic phenomena" and were rather dull in contrast to Mrs. Arris stories.  I read Elizabeth Goudge's The Sister of the Angels today, too-a charming if rather slight Christmas fable.  I think I'll try some of her other books.  Then I took a nap and, as soon as we woke up, Vicky came over again.  This time they set up the train in the bedroom since they didn't think they had enough room in the playroom.  Vicky went home to have her hair washed for church tomorrow and Pete and I took his airplanes and GI Joe* and his jeep out on the front lawn.  I showed Maria my mother's doll (with china head and wooden limbs) and she invited me in to see her doll collection.  Then she showed Pete and me the 80 year old painted tin car, with two drivers, that she and Daniel had bought at an auction.  They had gotten a leathery stuffed alligator at auction today.  It frightened Pete at first but Daniel got him to touch it  (it looked rather like the evil crocodiles in "The Rescuers")   They have, as one would expect, antiques everywhere-including handmade Chinese carpets.  Then Vicky came back and took Pete-barefooted-over to her house.  He played till about 9:30pm, when I phoned for him to come home for dinner.  Walking back they went too fast and Petey bumped his foot on a rock and cried.  We had pork chops and sweet potatoes but Pete only tasted the potatoes and didn't like them (just as well, I guess).  He had a few bites of chop and a little watermelon and that was all.  Thelma called, back from Sun Valley, and said they had gotten Pete and me presents.  I called Sylvia and arranged to take Pete and Sharon to the 7:15pm movie tomorrow night.  Gave Pete a bath -he had a nosebleed tonight and the rash on his face looks worse.  Saw Margaret Bunce tonight.

*Can't remember if I mentioned it previously, but this was one of the first GI Joe toys-more of a 12" doll than the action figure line that inspired the cartoons and recent movies.  This is one of those childhood toys I wish I still had-if for nothing other than it's current resale value on EBAY =-)    PL

Friday, July 29th, 1977

Today was "S" Day, but there was no sign of Stewart.  I called John this afternoon and he gave me Ed Hagen's (the assistant District Attorney) office and home phone numbers "in case Stewart should try to 'snatch' Petey or interfere with his custody".  John also said he hadn't found out anything about the music lessons yet, but might know next week.  Pete is really looking forward them because all his friends are "doing something".  Nicole is taking gymnastics lessons and Sharon is taking tap dancing.  But, as Pete says, "I can still play on my organ at home".  And with his recorder, harmonicas and organ, he can be a "one man band".  Vicky called and came over for "Sesame Street" and "Mr Rogers" then they went back to her house to watch "Electric Company".  Then Pete came home for Brady Bunch.  Gave Betty Phipps some of the watermelon Sheryl gave us.  Then I tested a piece and it had gone off (it's been out since yesterday with no refrigeration) so I told her to throw it way.  But while I was complaining about how dull the knife was, Betty ran home and came back with a really sharp knife from Bill's kitchen equipment so now I have a good one.  Betty was sick with an upset stomach so Petey couldn't go over there but Betty brought her box of little cars over for Pete to play with here.  Petey "helped" Daniel rake up the peeling sycamore bark off the lawn tonight, and Betty let him help water her flowers.  In fact, she asked Pete if he would do it while she was gone (they're going on a vacation with Debbie and Alyss) and she'd either pay him or bring him a present.  He said yes and opted for the present...of course, it really means I'll be watering their lawn and flowers but I'm glad to have a chance to do something for them.  Betty brought over The National Enquirer because it had an article on a new Leukemia drug-Asparagrinase (sp?).  It also mentioned Prednisone, Mercaptopurine, Cytroxan, and Venecristine...and he's been in remission for a year and 3 months.  The article even called the new drug a "cure" for Leukemia.  Pete had 2 Methatrexate pills today, half his regular dose and no side effects.  He's on half of all medicines until they recheck his white count Monday.  Pete had cooked carrots and some chicken soup for dinner.  I made pork chops but he wouldn't eat one.  We had hamburgers for lunch and he ate most of his.  I ate the last of the strawberries I'd bought today.  They'd already started to mold-even refrigeration didn't help.  We had a letter from Carol Carr today, and both Petey and I started letters to her.  Pete rode his tricycle and fire engine tonight-I really get tired of carrying them down the stairs and up again, but there's no place else to park them except on our porch.  Red Pete The Everywhere Cat tonight.

Thursday, July 28th, 1977-Countdown to "S" Day

Tonight was good grooming night for Pete and me.  I took a bath and washed my hair, gave Pete his bath (full of boats) cut his fingernails and toenails, and taped his toes (he has an "overlaid" toe on each foot and Dr. Baskerville suggested taping them in the correct position).  He has what looks like heat rash all over with maybe a few mosquito bites on his arms and legs.  Tomorrow is supposed to be "S" day-at least its the day Stewart told John he was coming.  John asked me to stay home tomorrow, or if I had to go out to call him so in case Stewart does come he can arrange a meeting...and, of course, I'd want to notify Cliff and Mr. Paschke.  Pete and I had a fairly quiet day.  Cheryl Ruth called and asked if we liked watermelon, and brought us half of a huge melon.  I'll ask Betty Phipps if she'd like some tomorrow.  Vicky called, and Pete went to her house (he walked over all by himself...tho I'd watched just in case Stewart might be around and have plans to snatch him...unlikely, of course, I don't think Stewart would even recognize him, but I can't help worrying-which would please Stewart greatly if he knew) to watch "Sesame Street" and "Mr. Rogers". Then they came back here to watch "Electric Company" and play with Pete's puzzles and Play-doh (they made pizzas, a step up from mud pies I guess).  Then Vicky went home and I took Pete for a "tricycle walk". We took tricycle along and hunted for all the sidewalks in the neighborhood (Ontario doesn't have a lot of them) so Pete could ride.  Pete went off a sidewalk and tipped over once, but he lit in some long soft grass and didn't cry-his knee has a few red scrapes I think are grass cuts but it doesn't seem sore and didn't bleed.  We saw Vicky on the way and she wanted to come but I told her we'd take sometime when she had her mother's o.k.  We went by the new City Hall and saw the fire engines installed in their new home.  Then we went as far as 9th Avenue, passing (at a distance) St. Matthew's Kindergarten where I hope Pete will go next year.  When we got home we had a picnic on the front lawn-bologna, cheese, apple juice, green pepper strips-in lieu of a proper dinner-Pete didn't have any lunch today, said he wasn't hungry-and I had a liverwurst and left over piece of cube steak sandwich.  He ate a little fruit today and drank lots of juice (6 cans and several glasses).  He had a temper tantrum tonight and through a glass (plastic) at me, so I spanked him and made him retrieve the glass from under the table.  He cried then hugged me and promised me he wouldn't throw things again.  Read Goldstein's Nobody's Sorry He Got Killed and The Little Fire Engine to Pete.

Wednesday, July 27th, 1977-in which we learn that old biases never die.

Pete and I went to the movies tonight.  We saw "The Rescuers" based on Margery Sharp's "Miss Bianca" books.  Petey thought it was pretty scary, with the villainous Madam Medusa and two ugly crocodiles.  It was a double feature so we also saw Walt Disney's "Two Critters" starring a racoon and a bear.  Petey liked that best.  We also saw Dr. Baskerville with Matthew, and nobly refrained from asking her any professional questions.  We had to take a cab both ways, and promised Paul we'd come and dispatch for him again if Vi wanted some time off.  We slept as long as we wanted to this morning then dawdled around the house till I gave Pete his bath at 11:30am.  Dad came in about 2:00pm and took us first to the bank so I could get the money to go to the show with.  Then we went to the library.  I got two books by Arthur Goldstein starring a 72 year old Jewish detective, and read one of them, You're Never Too Old To Die tonight.  Pete and Dad sat under the Mulberry Tree on the front lawn while I was inside getting books.  Then we stopped at Safeway.  I'd planned to spend $10.00 for groceries and actually spent $11.11-including cigarettes.  There was a column in today's Argus (part of "The Doctor's Advice") about a boy who bought tomatoes at 89 cents per pound with food stamps, and the clerk said she couldn't afford them at that price, how could he?!  And the doctor printed a lot of letters from people who thought the clerks should be able to say what you have to buy just because you have stamps (Funny that nearly 40 years later, I hear the same spew related to the work I do-PL).  We have to buy stamps too-they're not free (noting the structure of the program at the time was very different from SNAP resources as we know them today-PL)-and in our case we're really restricted by Pete's diets (no carbohydrates, low salt).  The letters upset me because they seemed to say "if you're poor, you have no rights" (The more things change...-PL).

I turned on the TV for Pete when we got home and I lay down to take a nap.  Pete woke me at the beginning of "Mr. Rogers" because Vicky was at the door.  They watched that and "Electric Company" together.  Then Pete watched "Brady Bunch" while I cooked dinner; cube steak (on sale), cantaloupe, strawberries, and green pepper slices.  I tried to cook Dad's beets, but they didn't get done in time to have with dinner, so I'll have them tomorrow.  Cleaned out Hermit's bowl yesterday-the detergent apparently didn't affect him.  I rinsed it out thoroughly.  Called the bank and found out the check to Safeway I forgot to enter was $6.69.  My pictures hadn't come back today so I'll have to wait (saw Jason Devore, Bob Devore, the Safeway Manager's son,at the movie tonight.  Jason helped in Bible School and Pete's very taken with him).  MSTI called to change our appointment to 2:40 pm August 10th since Dr. Holt will be in a meeting earlier.  Stripped the beds today and Pete played under the sheets in the laundry basket.  Read him The Surprise Party (an animal version of the game "Gossip") tonight

Of Blood Tests, Platelet Counts, and time in the sandbox.

"The hardest part of Blog is to write in it"-Unknown

The following is an abbreviated and highly edited entry due to a graphic description of a specific medical condition (not necessarily related to my Leukemia), that I think might be a little embarrassing were I to run into a reader of the full post on the street (I know most are local)-even though its now more than 37 years after the fact.  Let's just leave it at that =-). PL

John had forgotten to arrange a doctor visit (volunteer driver) for Pete so we had to take a cab and Petey cried because he couldn't go to the park after he was finished at the doctor's.  His white count was down so I had to wait to give his medication until Dr. Baskerville could call Dr. Holt.  They said to cut the dosage in half and then they'd decide what to do after next week's blood test.  Pete had lost a little over a pound this time-they go on so fast and come off so slow!  Bobbie drove us home.  We had lunch, cube steak and green beans for Pete-with beets for me, and took our naps.  Vicky called-the first time-about three and Pete finally went over to watch "Mr. Rogers" and "Sesame Street" with her.  He walked over all by himself.  He was supposed to call me when he got there, and finally remembered in the middle of "Mr. Rogers".  They both came back here for part of "Electric Company".  Vicky gave Pete some sand dollars.  Then he had some chicken soup.  We watched "Odd Couple" off and on while we ate.  Then Marilyn called and came to pick us up.  Pete and Nicole played in her sandbox.  Pete's been talking about building sand castles for ages.  He really wants to go to the beach.  Marilyn gave me some magazines and a beige blouse-it has a spot but I think my sweater vest will cover it.  I gave her a wig.  She's promised to take me to some AAUW meetingsin Payette when they have an interesting program.  I don't want to go to the one here because I don't want to meet Dale Haynes in any context.  (Betty Phipps said Dale was in the computer course with her son, Bill, and dropped out because she couldn't do it...ruined her computer cards).  Marilyn drove by Byron and Patty Chatfield's on the way home and Pete was enchanted with Baby Sarah.  When we got home he was hungry for hamburger so I made him one.  He ate one bite and said he was too tired to eat any more, so I put him to bed.  We read Adam's ABC and Henry, The Explorer, and sorted out his books to go back.  I called Dad and he said he'd take us to the library and the bank tomorrow.  "The Rescuers" is on at the Centre Theater and I want to take Pete.  Found Pete's police car with doors that open today-under his bed.  It's been lost ages.
 

Monday, July 25th, 1977-in which there are blood tests and a call from a dear friend.

I was sitting on the back steps tonight, watching Pete play road building in the dirt, and talking to Betty Phipps when the phone rang.  I hurried inside and it was a collect call from Noreen!  After all these years (I think it's been six years, maybe 7) I was talking to Noreen McGinley again.  Her address was still the same...or, as she put it, "while all you people have been all over the glove, I've been staying in the same place. I'm a conservative".  She promised to write after August 1st (She's moving next door and will have a new phone number) [These, of course, were the days long before cell phones when our numbers didn't just follow us from place to place and upgrade to upgrade.-PL] .  She's still teaching and still unmarried-hopes to come west next summer (by cr to California, from there to Hawaii by plane for a family reunion) and stop to see us on the way.  But whether we get a visit or not, it was lovely to talk to her again.  I've thought of her so often.  We shared an apartment in Hawaii when I was first there and she had just had surgery to remove a breast tumor while I had just had a cone biopsy for cervical cancer.  When we both came back to the mainland, we'd kept in touch but I'd lost track while I was overseas.  She told me Leona Kowalski had married and was teaching in the St. Louis area, and she thought Leona's husband was teaching at a university (he was a Greek refugee poet).  Someday I'd like to take Pete to Hawaii ...God willing (haven't been yet-PL).  Robert Belog must have had my letter by now, but I've not heard from him.  Called Thelma tonight.  She wasn't home, but Sissie answered the phone.  I must find a replacement guardian for Pete-that's not a happy home.  I spoke to Betty Phipps about it...she'd take him but she's had lots of surgery  and Bill has had an open heart operation.

A Leslie somebody picked us up today.  She'll take us for our next three blood tests.  Then she goes back to work (she's a high school secretary).  Pete went into the lab again and visited with Sister Angelica .  She showed him how some of the machines work and he had a counting race with one of them.  When it was time for his blood test, he told me to go sit in the waiting room and had it all alone (He was very big today, but told me next week he was going to be very little).  Leslie stopped at the Country Kitchen because Pete wanted to go to a restaurant.  He had soup and jello and milk while we had coffee.  We arranged to stop in the hospital cafeteria next week.  

Pete took an early nap today and was very indignant because Vicky called him just after he lay down.  He brought his little blue chair in from the play room to go by his organ now that it's on a table.  Petey watched all "his" programs tonight: "Sesame Street", "Electric Company", "Mr. Rogers", "The Brady Bunch" (they were trying to set a world record for "teeter-tottering" so Pete enjoyed that), and he insisted on having "Little House on the Prairie" on while he ate, tho he didn't watch.  We split a cube steak and Pete had more soup.  I cooked the beets Dad gave us tonight and our green beans, but they refused to get tender.  Ate most of the beets and some melon too, since I'd skipped lunch.  

Pete got nicely dirty in the back and then had a bath with all his toys, rubber ducky, boats, Weeble, and his submarine...He pretended it was Weeble's birthday and the little boats were Weeble's presents.  He's already planning for his birthday.  

Begged me not to tell Dr. Baskerville he's been eating cereal.  Read him The Man Who Took The Inside Out by Lobel (the one who wrote Owl's House which enjoyed.  I read Hans Brinker and The Silver Skates today again.   

Sunday, July 24th, 1977-in which Petey wears a suit, Nancy defiantly wears slacks to church(again), and turkeys attack

I am really praying hard for Thelma tonight.  Sissie ran away from home yesterday afternoon.  She was seen in Payette about 8:00pm last night but that's the last time anyone's known to have seen her.  Thelma called me because she didn't want me to find out from the TV or radio spots they've asked for.  The police in both Oregon and Idaho are looking for her, but she could be anywhere by now.  And she's so young...to be out at night, alone.  Got Petey in bet at one a.m. this morning when we got home from Sylvia and Dave's.  Then we had to get up early to be ready when Dad and Mom picked us up for church.  I wore slacks again today (take that, Biddy Brigade!-PL)-and no stockings since I haven't any without runs-and was pleased to note a lot of women in slacks today (including Betty and Mom).  We went to Safeway after church.  I was really out of everything.  I filled another WIC coupon, the one with cheese this time-and I spent $17.74 on groceries besides...mostly meat and fruit and juice.  We came home to unload groceries (it was raining and cool, hooray!) then went to the farm with Mom and Dad.  We had sweet rolls here  and more at the farm.  Betty was going through things and found a box with my dolls-including my baby doll that was Mom's (china head, wooden hands) and the Raggedy Ann doll Grandma bought for Peter before she died that Mom had kept (and which I believe I still have-PL). She gave me an old coffee table for Pete's organ to go on.  Dad gave me beets and carrots from the garden (tiny carrots for Pete) and Betty gave me some cherries and 3 rag rugs for Peter's "new" bedroom.  She's going to ask the carpet man if he has any spare pieces, too.  And when they get their new living room drapes (the drapes don't match the carpet any more), I'll get the old ones from their doors for Petey's French doors.  My back porch is getting full of stuff-must do some clearing out.  We were too tired to have lunch, napped  and then Lorraine called.  She came over and brought Pete an elephant ring toss game like her grandchildren have.  I had a fine time inflating it.  We went to her house, had coffee while Pete played with Valerie Shoot's grandchildren (she's a friend of Sylvia's, from England), then Lorraine took us for a ride.  We went to the park and Pete pushed Lorraine and me on the merry-go-round, then we pushed him, he swung, and we all 3 went on the seesaw-Lorraine holding Pete.  Then we came home and had dinner (steak, mushrooms, melon, chicken soup for Pete).  Marilyn Cates called and we altered our plans a little.  We're going over there at 7:00pm Tuesday night so Pete and Nicole can play in her sandbox.  Pete got hemmed into a corner of the chicken coop at the farm today by Dad's turkeys, and was pretty upset when I got him out.  He wore his suit to church today "to look good for Nicole".  Bernie gave him a fishing rod of his very own, and I got him a car at Bonanza 88, in return for staying in the car while I went to Safeway.  Red the Gordons' Meanaces today

Saturday, July 23rd, 1977

The phone woke me a little after nine (I'd gotten up once before to turn on the TV for Pete).  It was Sylvia and she wanted to know if I'd babysit for her and Dave tonight.  I wasn't crazy about the idea, but I wasn't doing anything else, so I said I would.  Pete watched cartoons (and "Children's Film Festival" and "The Little Rascals") solid until 2:00pm.  Then we ate some lunch (but I can't remember what we had) and took our naps. 

I read Bury Me In Gold Lamé by Stanton Forbes, and Hanged Man House by E.X. Ferrars and when I napped I dreamt about a chicken casserole and parsley (Water hemlock, I think) that made you sick, and six gray elephants (out of Peter's 10 What? Mystery Counting book).  I was drowsy and irritable all day.  It was hot and soggy again today.  If only we'd get some rain!  Didn't wake up from our naps until 6:00pm.  We played our Mary Poppins record, and the Lunelighters.  After I turned on the TV again and we watched some of "Lawrence Welk", and Pete finally got to see "Emergency!" again. 

Then I had just one hour to bathe and feed him before we went to Sylvia's and Pete dawdled over everything.  He only ate two slices of bacon for dinner, wouldn't eat his egg.  He went outside to play for a little while before they came and "helped" Daniel dig away the grass along the curb.  Dave picked us up at nine o'clock and Pete, Sharon, and little Davey played cars for awhile.  Pete took along his "emergency bag" stocked with 4 little cars, one big car, a coat for him and a sweater for me (to come home in) and 3 apples.  I took a book but never opened it because I was looking at an old Redbook of Sylvia's. 

Sharon disappeared into the bathroom for a long time and came out with her hair all in rollers.  She asked me to tell her how long to leave them in, then took them out and brushed her hair and said proudly to Pete, "See my curls?" and Pete said "Where, I don't see any." (of course, Pete has "naturally curly hair" like the little girl in the Peanuts cartoons).  Sharon was determined to stay up until Davey went to bed, so she sat in their big living room chair while I diapered Davey and gave him his bottle, and then was so tired I had to carry her into bed.  I forgot to put two diapers on Davey so I'll bet Sylvia has to get up in the night and change him. 

Put Petey down on the couch but he couldn't settle to sleep-shadows, the leaves rustling on the trees, a dog barking down the street, all the unfamiliar cracks and creaks of a strange house frightened him.  Dave had left me a beer, and I was just drinking it (Pete was still awake but resting on the couch with his shoes and socks off), when they came home.  They didn't have any change to pay me so I told them to catch it later.  They each said it hadn't been much fun.  Moore's Alley was dead and they didn't like the group.  We, on the other hand, had a very nice time.  I read Mickey Mouse And The Magic Clock to the 3 kids, Davey on my lap, listening attentively, and Sharon trying to read the words (she does know a few).  Tucked Pete in his own bed and he was right off.

Friday, July 22nd, 1977-In which Pete earns a spanking,

I slept through the alarm this morning-woke up and jumped into my clothes because it was nearly 9:00am.  Pushed Pete into his clothes and then Sylvia called.  She wasn't going to Iseri's after all because she needed to get her marriage certificate for her passport first (she's got to be certain of being able to go and get back before she makes a reservation because she doesn't want to pay for a cancelled booking).  But she came over anyway to see us.  Pete played with Sharon and Little Davey and I made Sylvia a pot of Darjeeling Tea.  It tasted pretty much like Lipton's.  Just after she left, Betty (Nelson-Sister PL) came in with the laundry and my books.  She'd spilled something sticky into the sack so I didn't get them back in the condition I lent them (too bad, they were almost "mint" and I'd counted on trading them in at the used book store, but now I doubt if I can get much for them)*.  She was upset with Tina because she'd nagged and nagged about her birthday present (her birthday's in October), so Betty finally gave it to her today, and told her all she's getting for her birthday is a card.  The boys are at it as well-Harold had ordered custom made collapsible rods from F&F for them, but they nagged and nagged for $8.99 ones from Skaggs (an area Department Store-PL)...so, Harold cancelled his order and got them the cheap ones.  Richie hadn't fussed so he's getting a good one.  Some days I'm awfully glad I only have one child.  Pete had a temper tantrum today over a cup of coffee (so we see here, my habit began early-PL).  He was pretending to be company and I poured him a cup with lots of milk.  Then he wouldn't drink it because he wanted to to add the milk himself.  I wouldn't give him another cup and he fussed and fussed until I finally spanked him.  He said, "Mommy, you hurt me when you spanked me", and I was very unsympathetic.  I said, "you were being naughty and I warned you.  I intended it to hurt".  Then he drank his coffee and had a second cup, to which he added the milk:  It doesn't happen often, but I think he needs to be reminded now and then, about the meaning of "no".  I wrote to Noreen McGinley today, and to Mr. Paschlee, Idaho Security Agent for Mountain Bell-since John told me they're still interested in Stewart's whereabouts.  I hadn't much concrete information to offer, except his mother's address (apt 11, Windmill, Harper Street), but if Stewart makes a definite appointment with John, I'll tell Mr. Paschlee when and where (not that Stewart would keep any such appointment, but, as John says, "Its best to be prepared rather than miss the chance").  Thelma didn't call or come by so Pete didn't get his swim.  I tried to call her but her line was busy for hours.  Pete had his Methatrexate today, apparently without side effects.  My period ended today, for which I'm grateful.  It was so hot, I didn't cook dinner till 11:00pm (but I'd left a burner on on the stove for I don't know how long).  Watched Boston POPS with a Mime Troupe tonight and Arlo Guthrie with Pete Seeger.  Pete like the guitar playing.  Wish it would rain!!!

*Context and Insights:  I imagine that, as with any family dynamic, there must have been a bit of sibling rivalry there-Mom was the oldest of 3-so some of her frustration bleeds through here.  It's also interesting to have a window into the early days of my cousins (Bernie, Bryan, and Richie)' eventual shared love of fishing-specifically fly fishing.  I know Bernie in particular spends a lot more than $8.99 on his equipment these days =-)-PL

July 21st, 1977-in which Petey asks "What's wrong with our Family?"

I dreamed of Noreen McGinley last night-so vividly that I felt compelled to write to her.  I have no reason to think my letter will reach her after so long (six years? or is it seven?) but at least I've tried.  And how many addresses in how many countries have I had in the last seven years?  More than I can remember...Hermit Hermit crab apparently got into the water last night, at least I heard his little claws scrabbling on the glass and his water dish was empty this morning.  We slept late (why not, nothing to get up for) and even so I was drowsy all day.It was very hot again today, like a blast furnace outside when I looked for the mail, so we dressed lightly and stayed in front of the fans.  I've read four of my new lot of books-Paul Gallieo's Mrs' Arris Goes to New York and Mrs Arris Goes to Parliament (a bit sad but I whs there were more of her adventures.  I've read Mrs. Arris Goes to Paris too and enjoyed them all, tho the only London Char I ever met-we couldn't afford one, I "charred" myself-wasn't the least bit like her); Charles Merril Smith's Reverend Randolliph and the Ways of Sin (his first novel tho not his first book) rather slow paced but nicely cynical; Ethel Gordon's The Freebody Heiress (two murderers avoiding the Gothics' usual neat solutions).  One, Gordon's Night Before The Wedding was so preposterous I didn't even read it.  I never can bring myself to believe in situations that call for enormous deployments of police to protect the endangered heroine, who is tethered like the sacrificial goat.  I've started another, Uncertain Voyage by the same Dorothy Gilman who writes about Mrs. Pollifax (now there's another heroine I really enjoy).  I enjoyed Gordon's cat books, too, but I prefer comedy to suspense.  I wish the authors I really like could write as fast as I can read.  Come to think of it, I imagine they wish so, too.  Finally, at about 5:00pm, it was cool enough so Pete and I went out on the front lawn for awhile.  The bark is shredding off the trees onto the lawn so we busied ourselves making jigsaw puzzles out of bark bits and trying to fit them back together again.  Sylvia called today to see if I would babysit for Davey and Sharon while she goes to Iseri's to try to find out what their plane fare to England will be (she said they'd called the airport 3 times and gotten 3 different estimates, and Iseri's had given them a (higher) fourth.  Pete didn't eat much today, only carrots for lunch (he left his hamburger and half a cube steak for dinner).  He said he was too tired to eat tonight, but I managed to give him a quick dip in the tub before he went to sleep.  We read only one story, Ten What (a mystery counting book) but I had to read it twice.  He liked the surrealistic illustrations (a fish and strawberries growing in trees).  I read him Sara Jack Keats' Peter's Chair at nap time.  He liked it because the little boy had his name and they had a new baby ("what's wrong with our family, Mommy?  Why don't we have a baby?")  He pretended his jump rope was a microphone cord tonight and sang a song ("all about love and Baby Jesus, Mommy") but it was very modern-I couldn't understand any of the words.  We watched an overdose of television today.

July 20th, 1977-in which there are two phone calls and the cobwebs are swept away.

"Once upon a time, there were two little pigs who lived in a barn on snow, and they could go in where it rained, and when it was sunny they could break it all apart and put it together again.  They ate with snow spoons, on snow plates and snow bowls and they drank out of snow glasses and cups.  They ate porridge from a snow porridge tree and they had snow hamburgers on their snow plates and they weren't cold.  They were very comfortable and that's the end of the story...it's a very funny story and you  can laugh and cheer when it's all over"-Peter Lawson, Age 4 1/2 (still trying to sell the movie rights-PL)

Well, I played Dame Durden tonight, sweeping the cobwebs out of the sky.  Petey called to me, very much frightened, after he'd gone to bed.  He saw a shadow swinging back and forth, first a circle, then a line on the ceiling-at first I couldn't see it so I lay on his bed and looked up and saw a tiny cobweb swinging.  I got the broom and swept the ceiling and Petey went to sleep.  We spent most of the day sleeping, or sitting right in front of the fans playing cars.  I had two phone calls, one pleasant, one not.  John Sandquist called to say Stewart had called him, purporedly from Los Angeles where he is supposed with his brother.  He asked John if John had written to him, saying "I can't do anything until I get that letter"-so John offered to send him a copy to Los Angeles, but Stewart said no, he'd get it forwarded from London, and refused to give John his address, though he did make an appointment to see him a week from Friday.  Stewart seems to me like one of those postulated dark starsthat implode, or anti-matter.  He sucks things in, leaves everyone a little soiled by contact with him.  Just thinking about him, even tho I'm convinced he's not going to act (indeed, I'm sure wherever he is it isn't Los Angeles) can darken the day.  If only Pete had a loving father*...tonight he said "Pretend I'm a baby, and I just learned how to say 'I love Daddy'".  What do I do, tell him not say that?  He has so much love to give.  Pity Stewart's ruined his chances of every sharing any of it.    The second phone call was from Diane Sandoval to thank me for Rosanna's Communion picture, so she had a copy to send her Mom and Dad.  She'd seen Shirley Vendrall since we saw her at the Migrant Worker's School Fiesta.  She promised to come by and see us one of these days...tho with five children, it's not too easy to go anywhere.  She might bring Monica, Carmelita, and Paul someday when Rosanna and Yvonne are in school, but, as she says, "they get into everything".  It was good to talk to her.  They're already thinking of another baby.  She said, "I guess Armando and I are just old-fashioned", and they are, of course, very devout.  Pete talked to Yvonne and Paul.  Our old house on 2nd is gone; they're pouring concrete for the donut shop now.


Thoughts and Context:
*Specifically with regards to this passage, I should note that my father's absence from my life in these early years was mitigated by the fact I had so many positive male role models all around me.  My Grandfather, of course, was chief among these, but there were people like Joe Plaza, Dan Eiguren, Paul the taxi driver, John Sandquist, Jerry Bunker, and many more in our lives at that time...Later, there would be even more-Jack Ogilvie, John Kirby (who, as stated previously, I consider my "Dad" for all intents and purposes), Manuel Borge (briefly), and Grant Baugh (a mentor through my times in the insurance industry)...and the list goes on.  I should also acknowledge that, while I wouldn't think of it as a full redemption by any stretch of the imagination, my biological "dad" did make some attempts to reach out later in life (covering two trips to London, which I'm incredibly grateful for in terms of the experience) and was even somewhat conciliatory at my Mom's passing.  Time and distance and my adult perspective certainly don't excuse Stewart's poor behavior during this period, but there's no value in retaining whatever residual anger or frustration I might hold for the man.  I will say this, he was a hell of a story teller.  For those who've seen the movie "Big Fish"-directed by Tim Burton, Stewart was just that kind of story teller-always with an angle.  The only distinction is that the character of the father in that movie turns out to have been telling the truth the whole time.  Stewart, not so much.