Today was Peter's first day of school. It rained all day. Petey started asking at 9:00am, "Isn't it time to go yet?" And he kept telling me, "you're making me late for school, Mommy!".
We started out to walk to school in the rain, but Connie Leedy passed us with Tricia and picked us up. I saw Tricia's school box and realized I'd forgotten Pete's, so Connie brought us back home and I quickly ran in and grabbed it.
Pete wore his green pants, his new green and black knit shirt, and his new shoes. Then he had on Gretchen's coat because of the rain.
I took my camera and took a picture of Pete and Tricia under the St. Matthew's sign. I took another with Miss Scott, who came out to meet the children, but I think she moved. Connie kissed Tricia goodbye, but Pete just went off without a backward look. The teacher said to him, "you've been waiting a long time", and took him in.
I didn't shed a tear, but we had hot chocolate with marshmallows to celebrate when he came home. He'd painted two pictures (we put them on the refrigerator), helped with the weather forecast ("I put the clouds on, Mommy!"), had a safety lesson (he told Thelma, "they told us to be careful what sounds we put in our ears."), and an arithmetic lesson "about 'near' and 'close'...no about 'one' and 'many'"
"We had a picture of a carnival and we had to circle two little boys and and one little boy, and popcorn..."
Whatever he actually did, he enjoyed it and he said "the teacher told all the children they have to be very careful of me"
He took a piece of driftwood for "Show & Tell" because he wanted to tell about his vacation, but they didn't do that today.
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This should be the occasion for philosophical reflection, but I can see only "one more Milestone passed forever!".
Nancy Lawson
a picture from her early teaching days in San Franciso
Sunday, November 11, 2018
August 20th, 1978: Countdown to the Big Trip
Just one day left before we go and I can't believe it even now. We've planned for this trip so long. I finished packing our big suitcase today, taking out clothes for Petey to wear on the train. I decided on his navy corduroy pants, a blue shirt, and, of course, his blue jacket. I even bought him some new blue socks. I'm planning to wear my beige trouser suit and long beige sweater-if only it's not to hot in the morning. I've almost finished packing the small suitcase. I packed a pillow, but if it's hot, I'll take the pillow out and pack my trouser suit and wear the sundress Lorraine made me. I have new shoes-rope sandals with rubber soles (very springy) that Tina gave me. I think I'll wear them on the train-at least I'll try them tomorrow to see if they're comfortable. There's so much to do tomorrow; our medicine to refill; the floor to vacuum, the garbage to empty; the refrigerator to clean out
...Dad is bringing an old high school friend of his, Thelma's supposed to be bringing my sewing machine, and Marilyn's planning to bring her thermos by so I can pack a lunch. I don't know how I'll carry everything. I may have to leave my camera-it's the only non-essential item-but I want to take pictures of Pete on the train. Carol has a camera so I know she'll take pictures while we're there. Petey's a little apprehensive about missing all his favorite TV programs. I'm just apprehensive. But there's only one more day to wait!
...Dad is bringing an old high school friend of his, Thelma's supposed to be bringing my sewing machine, and Marilyn's planning to bring her thermos by so I can pack a lunch. I don't know how I'll carry everything. I may have to leave my camera-it's the only non-essential item-but I want to take pictures of Pete on the train. Carol has a camera so I know she'll take pictures while we're there. Petey's a little apprehensive about missing all his favorite TV programs. I'm just apprehensive. But there's only one more day to wait!
Saturday, October 13, 2018
August 17th, 1978 (pt 2): Stranger Danger? (an odd offer)
I just had a strange adventure. Someone (a rather nice looking blond young man) range my doorbell @ 2:30pm to ask if I was Jill. He had a sack from the Eastside Cafe in his hand. He said, "You're Miss Latham, aren't you?". I automatically said, "No, Miss Lawson".
Then, when I assured him there was no Jill in the neighborhood, he looked at the dinner (at a guess it was) and said "would you like to share this with me?" He said, "I'm not trying to make a pass or anything.". But I said, "no". He asked again and I said, "I'm going backt to bed. I don't want to wake my little boy.". He said, "You're sure you don't want to share this wtih me?", and finally went away.
I was glad had put the chain bolt on the door. It was certainly a novel way of getting into ahouse. Perhaps I missed a pleasant adventure0my chance of having a man of my own0but it's much more likely that I missed being raped and murdered with a bribe of a fake Chinese dinner.
Then, when I assured him there was no Jill in the neighborhood, he looked at the dinner (at a guess it was) and said "would you like to share this with me?" He said, "I'm not trying to make a pass or anything.". But I said, "no". He asked again and I said, "I'm going backt to bed. I don't want to wake my little boy.". He said, "You're sure you don't want to share this wtih me?", and finally went away.
I was glad had put the chain bolt on the door. It was certainly a novel way of getting into ahouse. Perhaps I missed a pleasant adventure0my chance of having a man of my own0but it's much more likely that I missed being raped and murdered with a bribe of a fake Chinese dinner.
August 17th, 1978: Packing
I packeed tonight-can't get much in my half of the suitcase. My clothes take up so much more room than Petey's. I packed my bluejeans and a T-shirt, a heavy trouser suit (I'll wear my light one), one pair of shorts, and some blouses. I still have to get my bathrobe in, and some underwear. Pete, on the other hand, has four pairs of pants, shirtsm T-shirts, and a apair of shorts. I don't know what he'll wear on the train.
August 14th, 1978 (Monday): Planning for an Adventure
Today Pete and I bought our tickets to Portland. I ruthlessly ripped the boxtops off two full cartons of Cornflakes (to use with my coupon). They had to call Amtrak and check with them, but it was all right. I let Petey go into Iseri's with me. He was enormously interested in the tickets,"Which one is the return, Mommy?", and they typed up an itenerary for us.
We leave here at 8:45am and get into Portland at 5:25pm. Petey will have to take his nap on the train. I wonder if I can carry a pillow for him besides the bag with our medicine and my camera? I must have pictures of Petey on the train. And, of course, I want to take a lunch. They only have a cafeteria with hotdogs and hamburgers. I'm making little lists everywhere-things to put in our lunch, in our suitcases, in my purse. I keep reassuring myself-we're going, we're really going(!). I'm terrified of missing the train at the depot, or missing Carol in Portland. We can't check our luggage and I don't want to be too burdened by it.
Traveling to England was horrible, and I lost my umbrella (a blue one with lace edging, the prettiest I've seen) on the Bermuda flight, besides having my small suitcase stolen, ransaced, and ultimately returned from Littlerock, Arkansas-on the way to New York. If only there were a way to travel without luggage-like those jet setters who have fully equipped homjes everywhere. I like to be in one place, then in another-but don't generally like the part between, so air travel is always my first choice (but Amtrak will be an exciting experience for both of us). Petey hasn't ridden on a train since he was old enough to remember, tho we moved from Manchester to London on the train when he was three months old (he had hot water bottles in his carrycot so as not to chill, and we spent the night in Euston Station).
We leave here at 8:45am and get into Portland at 5:25pm. Petey will have to take his nap on the train. I wonder if I can carry a pillow for him besides the bag with our medicine and my camera? I must have pictures of Petey on the train. And, of course, I want to take a lunch. They only have a cafeteria with hotdogs and hamburgers. I'm making little lists everywhere-things to put in our lunch, in our suitcases, in my purse. I keep reassuring myself-we're going, we're really going(!). I'm terrified of missing the train at the depot, or missing Carol in Portland. We can't check our luggage and I don't want to be too burdened by it.
Traveling to England was horrible, and I lost my umbrella (a blue one with lace edging, the prettiest I've seen) on the Bermuda flight, besides having my small suitcase stolen, ransaced, and ultimately returned from Littlerock, Arkansas-on the way to New York. If only there were a way to travel without luggage-like those jet setters who have fully equipped homjes everywhere. I like to be in one place, then in another-but don't generally like the part between, so air travel is always my first choice (but Amtrak will be an exciting experience for both of us). Petey hasn't ridden on a train since he was old enough to remember, tho we moved from Manchester to London on the train when he was three months old (he had hot water bottles in his carrycot so as not to chill, and we spent the night in Euston Station).
August 13th, 1978: Interlude-Petey's Short Stories (pt 2)
Petey's Scary Story (as dictated to N.S. Lawson): Once there was a very old man who lived in a hut that used to be a haunted house.
One night he heard a voice saying, "I want that golden shoe. I want that golden shoe". He knew it was a skeleton and it was alive, but he didn't know what it was talking about, so he said to the skeleton kindly, "what are you talking about ?"
The skeleton said, "I thought there was a golden shoe here". The old man looked everywhere: in the haunted kitchen; in the haunted bathroom; in the haunted bedroom; in the haunted bedroom's closet; in the refrigerator; in the dining room; in the living room; and he couldn't find it. "There's no golden shoe here", he said to the skeleton. The skeleton said "I'm sorry, I must have the wrong house"
One night he heard a voice saying, "I want that golden shoe. I want that golden shoe". He knew it was a skeleton and it was alive, but he didn't know what it was talking about, so he said to the skeleton kindly, "what are you talking about ?"
The skeleton said, "I thought there was a golden shoe here". The old man looked everywhere: in the haunted kitchen; in the haunted bathroom; in the haunted bedroom; in the haunted bedroom's closet; in the refrigerator; in the dining room; in the living room; and he couldn't find it. "There's no golden shoe here", he said to the skeleton. The skeleton said "I'm sorry, I must have the wrong house"
August 12th, 1978: Interlude- Petey's Short Stories (pt 1)
Peter's Story (as dictated to his mother, N. S. Lawson):
Once and on a time there lived a little boy that's name was Peter. One day Peter put on his bathing suit and they went to the swimming pad and they swam and they swam and they swam. And while they were there, some kids came. They swam until it was time to go. Peter's mommy helped him out of the pool and they went home and lived happily ever after.
Once and on a time there lived a little boy that's name was Peter. One day Peter put on his bathing suit and they went to the swimming pad and they swam and they swam and they swam. And while they were there, some kids came. They swam until it was time to go. Peter's mommy helped him out of the pool and they went home and lived happily ever after.
Sunday, September 23, 2018
August 11th, 1978 (Friday): For the Love and Loss of Language
Tonight I dusted books again. What a world of lost ambitions these represented! I was doing the language section. I have novels in French, German, Arabic, Japanese, Latin, Russian, and Portuguese. I have some volumes in Danish and an Italian phrase book as well as a Turkish one. And, of course, I have a number of books in Spanish (I wanted to read Garcia Lorca in the original).
I ran some across some of my Arabic lessons-I have the tapes but I need a reel to reel tap recorder. I reviewed the lessons I was trying to learn to write Arabic as well as to speak it. And now the Mid-East is in such a constant conflagration, I don't suppose I'll ever get there after all!
I wish I had a chance to start learning languages earlier because I have a flair for translation, not for the spoken, but for the written word. I want to know a lot of languages because words fascinate me. I always envied my friend, Bill Sinclair, who could speak any language after he'd heard it for a while-from Chinese (both Mandarin and Cantonese) to Mano. I hope Petey will be interested in languages. He knows some sign language (from "Sesame Street") and watches "Villa Allegra" faithfully because he's interested in Spanish (and he's learned some Spanish words from Cindy and Lolita next door).
Since my breakdown, I've forgotten almost all the foreign languages I knew...I only remember a few words of French, and a smattering of German-a few Spanish, Russian, and Arabic phrases. It's heard to start again from the beginning.
I ran some across some of my Arabic lessons-I have the tapes but I need a reel to reel tap recorder. I reviewed the lessons I was trying to learn to write Arabic as well as to speak it. And now the Mid-East is in such a constant conflagration, I don't suppose I'll ever get there after all!
I wish I had a chance to start learning languages earlier because I have a flair for translation, not for the spoken, but for the written word. I want to know a lot of languages because words fascinate me. I always envied my friend, Bill Sinclair, who could speak any language after he'd heard it for a while-from Chinese (both Mandarin and Cantonese) to Mano. I hope Petey will be interested in languages. He knows some sign language (from "Sesame Street") and watches "Villa Allegra" faithfully because he's interested in Spanish (and he's learned some Spanish words from Cindy and Lolita next door).
Since my breakdown, I've forgotten almost all the foreign languages I knew...I only remember a few words of French, and a smattering of German-a few Spanish, Russian, and Arabic phrases. It's heard to start again from the beginning.
August 7th & 8th 1978: One Step Forward, Two Steps Back
Peter has been having a rough time. Saturday he got up at 6:00am to watch cartoons, had two nosebleeds, and went back to bed at 1:00pm. I woke him up at 4:00pm for lunch, but he just looked at his lunch, had two glasses of milk and a glass of lemonade, and went back to bed. He slept 'til 8:00pm and was back in bed by 11:00pm. He slept straight through till time to go to church, put his church clothes on, and stretched out again because he was so tired. He had to be carried out to the car and stretched out in the pew for most of the service. His urine was almost orange Saturday and was a very dark yellow Sunday. We went to Carol Wallace's for dinner Sunday night, and he had another nosebleed while we were there. Today his white count was only 1800 and Dr. de la Paz took him off all medicine for a week. He was riding on the front of my cart in Safeway and fell off, catching his shoe in the Cart (I'm lucky he didn't break something!). Then he didn't eat his lunch (except for his tater tots), was feverish (so I gave him 1/2 a Tylenol), and fell down the last two of our front steps, smash into the marigolds. He went to Vicky's house tonight and had to be carried home. He was too tired for supper or a bath. I gave him lots of 7-Up today and he seemed cooler tonight when he went to bed, but he had another nosebleed. I don't want him to get sick now, just when he's been doing so well, but I'll have to really watch him while it's so hot-it's was 104 degrees again today.
Monday, September 10, 2018
August 5th, 1978: Lullaby and Good Night: Songs to Sooth
Petey likes a song at bedtime. I can't carry a tune, but he's not critical of my singing. What I sing depends on the mood he's in. If he's frightened, I sing "Jesus Loves The Little Children", "Jesus Loves Me", or "Rock of Ages". If we're talking about England, I sing "Don't Dilly Dally" or "Oh You Are a Mucky Kid" (wish Stewart would send us some English music). If he's sad, I sing "Old Man River", or "Down in the Valley", or "Nobody Knows the Trouble I've Seen". There are lullabies, "Schlay, Bobbeli, Schlay", "Brahms' Lullaby", "Sleep, My Child and Peace Attend Thee" (I don't know the real title), or "Sarasponda".
He likes "Beautiful Saviour", and "I come to the Garden". Then there are spirituals, "Sweet Chariot", "Rock My Soul". He likes nonsense songs, "Go Tell Aunt Rhody", "Froggie Would A Wooing Go", "Clementine", "Sweet Betsy From Pike"; work songs, "I've Been Working On The Railroad", "Casey Jones", "John Henry"; prison songs, "The Midnight Special".
He likes "Barbry Ellen", "Stumptown Races", "America", "This Land is Your Land", and "He's Got The Whole World In His Hands".
One song usually calls another to mind, and I go on till he drifts off to sleep, but his favorites are "I love you" songs: "You are my Sunshine" and "I Love You a Bushel and a Peck".
He likes "Beautiful Saviour", and "I come to the Garden". Then there are spirituals, "Sweet Chariot", "Rock My Soul". He likes nonsense songs, "Go Tell Aunt Rhody", "Froggie Would A Wooing Go", "Clementine", "Sweet Betsy From Pike"; work songs, "I've Been Working On The Railroad", "Casey Jones", "John Henry"; prison songs, "The Midnight Special".
He likes "Barbry Ellen", "Stumptown Races", "America", "This Land is Your Land", and "He's Got The Whole World In His Hands".
One song usually calls another to mind, and I go on till he drifts off to sleep, but his favorites are "I love you" songs: "You are my Sunshine" and "I Love You a Bushel and a Peck".
Sunday, September 9, 2018
August 4th, 1978 (Friday): Chicken 1000 meets the Lorax
Petey and I watched the Dr. Seuss special tonight. The second half on the the special was "The Lorax", which mad us both very sad.
The irreversible destruction of the environment by industry is an ever present problem. Now that the pipeline runs across the fragile Alaskan tundra with the constant threat of sabotage, now that truckoads and train loads of poisionous gasses explode across the country, now that what to do with radioactive wastes puzzles us all, Dr. Seuss's message is urgent. "Unless"...
The Endless Pavement is another horrific version of the future where cars rule everything, trees and grass are entirely superseded by concrete, and people-bolted into cars at an early age-have forgotten how to use there legs. The only entertainment is auto racing on the big screen and the art of conversation has been forgotten.
Then there's Chicken 1000 (I don't know if the number's right), the escape of a "battery hen" to a normal life. I usually dislike didactic stories, but the only way to ensure environmentalists is to begin with the children.
There's also an impressive (but very sad) science-fiction movie (whose title I've forgotten) about the last forests, growing in space when the decision is made that they are no longer economically feasible, and they are to be converted to freighters. Trees and grass are a luxury. The tale says it well-"welcome to the house. Aren't the furnishings beautiful?" We must learn to be good guests in God's house, our Earth.
The irreversible destruction of the environment by industry is an ever present problem. Now that the pipeline runs across the fragile Alaskan tundra with the constant threat of sabotage, now that truckoads and train loads of poisionous gasses explode across the country, now that what to do with radioactive wastes puzzles us all, Dr. Seuss's message is urgent. "Unless"...
The Endless Pavement is another horrific version of the future where cars rule everything, trees and grass are entirely superseded by concrete, and people-bolted into cars at an early age-have forgotten how to use there legs. The only entertainment is auto racing on the big screen and the art of conversation has been forgotten.
Then there's Chicken 1000 (I don't know if the number's right), the escape of a "battery hen" to a normal life. I usually dislike didactic stories, but the only way to ensure environmentalists is to begin with the children.
There's also an impressive (but very sad) science-fiction movie (whose title I've forgotten) about the last forests, growing in space when the decision is made that they are no longer economically feasible, and they are to be converted to freighters. Trees and grass are a luxury. The tale says it well-"welcome to the house. Aren't the furnishings beautiful?" We must learn to be good guests in God's house, our Earth.
August 2nd, 1978 (Wednesday): An end in sight
Pete said today would be a terrible day, but it didn't turn out so badly after all. Our early morning drive to Boise was pleasantly cool. Pete was hungry when we got to St. Luke's, so I asked Dr. Vestal if it would be all right for him to eat. We each had an order of cinnamon toast in the treatment room, while we waited for his tests. They also gave him a paper cup of milk. Then I told him "Don't Touch Me!", and he had a good time chasing me around the treatment room trying to touch me. When he did, I'd chase him.
They did a finger stick for his blood work, and gave him two lollipops. When they did his bone marrow and spinal tap, Tuck was there, and she gave him a "Goofy" pin she had on her uniform pocket and a a tiny wrapped package (he thought it was candy, but it was a little car). Best of all, Dr. Vestal said that his blood counts looked good, and his last bone marrow was normal. If he stays in remission until May, they'll stop all medication! She said "It looks like he's one of the leukemia patients who makes it!". I told Betty and she said, "I always thought he would be. Now you and Petey will have to get used to living a normal life. It will be hard." Talk about casting a damper! I didn't "always think so"-especially not when Peter had pneumonia, and Dr. Baskerville told me, "He's going to die". I also don't think a normal life will be hard. I just hope we can remember how to treasure every minute and live in the present.
They did a finger stick for his blood work, and gave him two lollipops. When they did his bone marrow and spinal tap, Tuck was there, and she gave him a "Goofy" pin she had on her uniform pocket and a a tiny wrapped package (he thought it was candy, but it was a little car). Best of all, Dr. Vestal said that his blood counts looked good, and his last bone marrow was normal. If he stays in remission until May, they'll stop all medication! She said "It looks like he's one of the leukemia patients who makes it!". I told Betty and she said, "I always thought he would be. Now you and Petey will have to get used to living a normal life. It will be hard." Talk about casting a damper! I didn't "always think so"-especially not when Peter had pneumonia, and Dr. Baskerville told me, "He's going to die". I also don't think a normal life will be hard. I just hope we can remember how to treasure every minute and live in the present.
July 31st, 1978: For the Love of Reading
Pete and I indulged in our chief form of recreation today. We went to the library. I took back two large grocery sacks, filled with books. These included all but one of my haul from the State library. Pete and I toured the art exhibit, pottery and stuffed hangings. Three was a charming batik duck, and an array of pottery bird houses-along with an enigmatic pottery harvest moon. Peter checked out a different version of "Peter Pan" (he has one, which, with Mia Farrow's, makes 3 different versions he's listed to) and I checked out the story of "The Nutcracker Prince" for him and "Jesus Christ, Superstar" for myself. We read two of this choices, Conrad's Castle and A Dragon in the Clock Box for bedtime stories. I couldn't decide which of my choices I was in the mood for, so I read some of Bridge's Ginger Griffin, and some of Eberhart's Wings of Fear. Peter went to Vicky's house to play, so I shocked Daniel, our neighbor, by sitting on the front lawn reading (The Ginger Griffin). Pete also varied his reading by insisting on reading my Betty Crocker Basic Baking cookbook tonight. He carefully surveyed all the steps for making bread, rolls, pies, and cakes. Then he wanted me to read it with him. It's a good thing he does enjoy books since his activities are so limited in other ways. He reminds me of The Little Lame Prince-instead of a magic carpet, he has books.
Sunday, September 2, 2018
July 29th, 1978: A trip to the big pool
Today Petey went swimming in a big pool for the first time. Mary Jo, who is a life guard, took us to the Ontario Pool before it opened. Pete had the inner tube Daniel (Mary Jo's father) gave him-and he floated in it happily-arms and legs hanging on to the tube and his little bottom dragging in the water in the center. Then he stuck his head and arms through the tube and paddled with his hands while he kicked with his feet. His feet kept sinking, then he'd wind up with his feet and legs in front of him. I'd push his legs back up straight and he was off again. He maneuvered pretty well-apart from a tendency to go in circles and to bump up against the walls of the pool. Vicky went with us (she invited herself, but no one had the heart to refuse her) and she kept pushing his inner tube "boat" out to deeper water and I kept pushing it back to the 3' mark-both of which made Petey indignant because wanted to go "all by myself." The water was icy. My feet and legs adjusted to it, but when I decided to swim, my midriff could hardly stand the shock. At my first stroke, my suit started to part company with my shoulder. Petey thought it was very funny and told everybody in the neighborhood "Mommy lost her suit". I slathered Pete with Mary Jo's sunscreen and he didn't burn at all...but I did! We stayed in the water from 11:30am until 1:00pm, when I insisted on bringing Pete home for lunch (just in time to keep from blistering!). I'm afraid Pete's wading pool has lost some of its glamour.
July 28th, 1978: The reluctant sleeper
It was over 100 degrees again today, and our house stayed HOT.
Petey had trouble sleeping tonight. He had a quick bath because he said he was so tired, and went to sleep with the sheet over him because he said he was cold. He woke up about an hour later, shouting "Mommy! Mommy!". I went in to see what was wrong and he asked me for a drink and a story. I took him a glass of milk and read him Alfalfa Hill (very soothing, since it was about the coming of snow to the hill). He said he was frightened but didn't remember why. He settled down again, but shortly he drifted into the kitchen. "I had my eyes shut but it didn't work...I couldn't sleep." He sat on my lap and I rocked him. Then he had a glass of lemonade and went back to bed, saying, "come talk to me." We talked about Luke Skywalker -whether Maria would find his doll in Los Angeles, and about the people on his "Star Wars" poster who had "eyes but no mouths and look like angels." Then we talked about what angels look like ("I thought you knew, Mommy") and about what "neutral" means. I sang to him, all the hymns about Jesus I could remember, including "Away In A Manger". I thought he'd gone to sleep, but then he sat bolt upright in bed and demanded another glass of lemonade. He drank that without stopping for breath and lay down again. H gave me a "goodnight hug" and a "goodnight kiss" and we said the "goodnight words"; "Sweet Dreams! Try to have a good night's sleep". Then his eyes closed, his breathing was deep and regular and, finally, he was asleep.
Petey had trouble sleeping tonight. He had a quick bath because he said he was so tired, and went to sleep with the sheet over him because he said he was cold. He woke up about an hour later, shouting "Mommy! Mommy!". I went in to see what was wrong and he asked me for a drink and a story. I took him a glass of milk and read him Alfalfa Hill (very soothing, since it was about the coming of snow to the hill). He said he was frightened but didn't remember why. He settled down again, but shortly he drifted into the kitchen. "I had my eyes shut but it didn't work...I couldn't sleep." He sat on my lap and I rocked him. Then he had a glass of lemonade and went back to bed, saying, "come talk to me." We talked about Luke Skywalker -whether Maria would find his doll in Los Angeles, and about the people on his "Star Wars" poster who had "eyes but no mouths and look like angels." Then we talked about what angels look like ("I thought you knew, Mommy") and about what "neutral" means. I sang to him, all the hymns about Jesus I could remember, including "Away In A Manger". I thought he'd gone to sleep, but then he sat bolt upright in bed and demanded another glass of lemonade. He drank that without stopping for breath and lay down again. H gave me a "goodnight hug" and a "goodnight kiss" and we said the "goodnight words"; "Sweet Dreams! Try to have a good night's sleep". Then his eyes closed, his breathing was deep and regular and, finally, he was asleep.
July 27th, 1978: On Basking Like Lizards
Betty said today her thermometer at the farm registered 118 degrees!
Pete and I took a long walk up to the kindergarten (EDITOR'S NOTE: This was @ St. Matthew's Episcopal Church) and back @ 10:00am before it got too hot. We came back and lay in the grass, face down in patches of white clover in the shade from the sycamore trees. We could see a sliver of moon in the sky and Pete told me a long aimless story of the moon, the sun, their mothers, their fathers, and the moon's cousin-making different voices for each. I was blissfully contented for that time.
Pete and I saw hollyhocks on our walk and I told him how to make a hollyhock doll with a fully opened flower for the skirt, and a bud for the head. We drowsed in the shade and I made a clover chain (I never learned to make a daisy chain-we never lived where daisies were so abundant).
Pete paddled in his pool today and splashed down the side. Lolita waded in with him. He soaked in the pool in the sun and pretended to go to sleep. I would have liked to jump in too.
Then we walked to the Dairy Queen for an ice cream cone. The day was sweltering but the Dairy Queen is air-conditioned, so we lingered over our cones. Pete ate his inside so it wouldn't melt on the way home (but it still dripped a little vanilla ice cream on his fingers, and he licked it up).
In the evening we sat on the lawn and watched the sunset illumine the edges of clouds. We wandered across the street for a desultory chat in the lengthening shadows, and finally-at 10:00pm, decided it was cool enough to go inside, having had our fill of basking like lizards in the sunny day.
Pete and I took a long walk up to the kindergarten (EDITOR'S NOTE: This was @ St. Matthew's Episcopal Church) and back @ 10:00am before it got too hot. We came back and lay in the grass, face down in patches of white clover in the shade from the sycamore trees. We could see a sliver of moon in the sky and Pete told me a long aimless story of the moon, the sun, their mothers, their fathers, and the moon's cousin-making different voices for each. I was blissfully contented for that time.
Pete and I saw hollyhocks on our walk and I told him how to make a hollyhock doll with a fully opened flower for the skirt, and a bud for the head. We drowsed in the shade and I made a clover chain (I never learned to make a daisy chain-we never lived where daisies were so abundant).
Pete paddled in his pool today and splashed down the side. Lolita waded in with him. He soaked in the pool in the sun and pretended to go to sleep. I would have liked to jump in too.
Then we walked to the Dairy Queen for an ice cream cone. The day was sweltering but the Dairy Queen is air-conditioned, so we lingered over our cones. Pete ate his inside so it wouldn't melt on the way home (but it still dripped a little vanilla ice cream on his fingers, and he licked it up).
In the evening we sat on the lawn and watched the sunset illumine the edges of clouds. We wandered across the street for a desultory chat in the lengthening shadows, and finally-at 10:00pm, decided it was cool enough to go inside, having had our fill of basking like lizards in the sunny day.
July 26, 1978: Counting Blessings
I was just counting my blessings tonight. Mom went home from hospital today. Betty, Dad, and Mom stopped by briefly so I got to see her.
Pete played in his pool this afternoon and went to see "Star Wars" tonight (EDITOR'S NOTE: Reminder that Star Wars was the Star Wars of my generation!). Janet and Terry took Pete and Fawn. He was SO Excited, saying "IO know I won't get to go! I know I won't get to go!"-on the brink of tears.
He had his IVs today. He got to give them himself again. He was looking forward to that so much he almost forgot to say "ouch" when Dir. de la Paz started the IV. She asked me if Pete got nauseated from the IVs. Some of their patients vomit so much that they have to be admitted to hospital, but Pete went out and had lunch at the Dairy Queen. He looks so healthy this summer. His cheeks are rosy and pink (you can see has blood), and he plays all day, splashing in his pool, going for "bicycle walks" (he rides his bicycle on the sidewalk and walks it across the streets with my help), and playing endless games with the children in the neighborhood. He plays cowboy, "Iron Man", "Batman & Robin", "Wonder Woman", house, and "Star Wars".
His legs and back have started to pain him and tonight his stomach hurt, but so far half a Tylenol and a little gentle rubbing have been adequate cures. He wanted to try a heating pad, but with the temperature over 100 degrees, I didn't think that was a good idea.
He's having such a happy summer. Whatever happens, I'll have all these good times to remember.
Pete played in his pool this afternoon and went to see "Star Wars" tonight (EDITOR'S NOTE: Reminder that Star Wars was the Star Wars of my generation!). Janet and Terry took Pete and Fawn. He was SO Excited, saying "IO know I won't get to go! I know I won't get to go!"-on the brink of tears.
He had his IVs today. He got to give them himself again. He was looking forward to that so much he almost forgot to say "ouch" when Dir. de la Paz started the IV. She asked me if Pete got nauseated from the IVs. Some of their patients vomit so much that they have to be admitted to hospital, but Pete went out and had lunch at the Dairy Queen. He looks so healthy this summer. His cheeks are rosy and pink (you can see has blood), and he plays all day, splashing in his pool, going for "bicycle walks" (he rides his bicycle on the sidewalk and walks it across the streets with my help), and playing endless games with the children in the neighborhood. He plays cowboy, "Iron Man", "Batman & Robin", "Wonder Woman", house, and "Star Wars".
His legs and back have started to pain him and tonight his stomach hurt, but so far half a Tylenol and a little gentle rubbing have been adequate cures. He wanted to try a heating pad, but with the temperature over 100 degrees, I didn't think that was a good idea.
He's having such a happy summer. Whatever happens, I'll have all these good times to remember.
July 25th, 1978: On the ever present threat of War.
I was reading A Place To Stand today, about Americans living in Hungary at the time of the German takeover, and about the bombing of Budapest. I was reminded of my kindergarten days. We lived in San Antonio, in the midst of three military bases. Dad brought home gas masks for all of us and we used to have bomb drills in the kindergarten. We all had to hide under our desks in case the windows were broken and I remember playing in the Yard beside our windows and hearing a voice break in the middle of the music on the radio to say "we are at war".
I remember Madame Chiang Kai-shek's speeches to, and standing on a foot stool trying to emulate her. I recall praying for my Uncle Eliot, who was in the Navy, every night.
In San Francisco, when I taught there, we had nuclear attack drills. At first, they tried to plan for some of the children to go home, but they finally had to concede that that much advance warning was unlikely. I had a class of gifted children and when we had a drill they refused to go. They said "If we're going to die anyway, we'd rather be doing our lessons."
During the Cuban crisis, one of the papers had big headlines "War with Cuba", and the children were sure we'd go to war. And, of course, there was Vietnam. A lot of the Navy ships left from Treasure Island in the Bay.
When I lived in Omaha, we were certain of being bombed because of the JAC missile sites there.
Ontario, Oregon seems a long way from war and rumors of war. I hope Petey can have the peaceful childhood I was denied here-and will learn to tie his shoelaces, not how to duck under a desk in kindergarten.
I remember Madame Chiang Kai-shek's speeches to, and standing on a foot stool trying to emulate her. I recall praying for my Uncle Eliot, who was in the Navy, every night.
In San Francisco, when I taught there, we had nuclear attack drills. At first, they tried to plan for some of the children to go home, but they finally had to concede that that much advance warning was unlikely. I had a class of gifted children and when we had a drill they refused to go. They said "If we're going to die anyway, we'd rather be doing our lessons."
During the Cuban crisis, one of the papers had big headlines "War with Cuba", and the children were sure we'd go to war. And, of course, there was Vietnam. A lot of the Navy ships left from Treasure Island in the Bay.
When I lived in Omaha, we were certain of being bombed because of the JAC missile sites there.
Ontario, Oregon seems a long way from war and rumors of war. I hope Petey can have the peaceful childhood I was denied here-and will learn to tie his shoelaces, not how to duck under a desk in kindergarten.
July 23rd, 1978 (Sunday): The Necklace
Today Sandy (EDITOR'S NOTE: Sandy was wife and partner to my Uncle Howard-the youngest sibling of Mom & Aunt Betty), Betty and I divided up some of Mom's jewelry. Dad had asked Betty to do it while Sandy was here so she could pick something she wanted.
I felt rather like one of the soldiers dicing for Christ's garment, but I was given back a necklace which has a curious history. I used to sell my jewelry at a small florist's shop. Then the owner was ill and had to go out of business. I came in to collect my jewelry and she offered to sell me a Chinese soapstone pendant. I liked it and gave her $20.00-just, as it happened-what she needed to finish paying the rent (the rent collector was there). I got some white onyx beads and heavy gold coloured chain and made a necklace for it. Robert Belog liked the necklace so much he gave me $25.00 for it and gave it to me as a present. I wore it on a visit to my grandmother and she insisted it was so beautiful I ought to give it to my mother so I did. While our house was being burgled three times in London, Mother kept the pendant safe at home. When Stewart got my jewelry out of a safe deposit box in San Francisco, he pawned my diamond ring and antique gold earrings, but Mother still had my pendant. So now I have it back-preserved only because I gave it away!
Betty also gave me back the Nell Gwyn (sp?) doll and the Anne Boleyn doll I had sent to Grandmother and to Mother. All my souvenirs of England were left behind in London when I came home directly from Bermuda, but these dolls I have because I sent them home as gifts. That's a result I hadn't foreseen.
I felt rather like one of the soldiers dicing for Christ's garment, but I was given back a necklace which has a curious history. I used to sell my jewelry at a small florist's shop. Then the owner was ill and had to go out of business. I came in to collect my jewelry and she offered to sell me a Chinese soapstone pendant. I liked it and gave her $20.00-just, as it happened-what she needed to finish paying the rent (the rent collector was there). I got some white onyx beads and heavy gold coloured chain and made a necklace for it. Robert Belog liked the necklace so much he gave me $25.00 for it and gave it to me as a present. I wore it on a visit to my grandmother and she insisted it was so beautiful I ought to give it to my mother so I did. While our house was being burgled three times in London, Mother kept the pendant safe at home. When Stewart got my jewelry out of a safe deposit box in San Francisco, he pawned my diamond ring and antique gold earrings, but Mother still had my pendant. So now I have it back-preserved only because I gave it away!
Betty also gave me back the Nell Gwyn (sp?) doll and the Anne Boleyn doll I had sent to Grandmother and to Mother. All my souvenirs of England were left behind in London when I came home directly from Bermuda, but these dolls I have because I sent them home as gifts. That's a result I hadn't foreseen.
Monday, August 13, 2018
July 22nd, 1978: Children's Lit Classics (Pre Pokemon!)
I was feeding mom tonight and Howard called me "Nurse Jane Fuzzywuzzy" so we started to recall all our favorite childhood books. Uncle Wiggily was always making soup in an old tin can, and I always thought it sounded wonderful. And we were always captivated by the improbable sequence of events that ended each story ("if all this doesn't happen, I'll tell you another story tomorrow").
We loved Burgess' Old Mother West Wind stories and the Oz books (our library is so highfalutin', it doesn't have Oz books!). I used to spend hours with Nancy Drew-tho her stupidity in exploring "empty" houses herself led me to throw a book across my room.
We were very fond of the Bobbsey Twins, and Betty and I liked Honeybunch. Of course I spend hours dreaming over The Little Colonel. I had masses of Raggedy Ann and Raggedy Andy books. We had The Five Little Peppers and its sequels. I even had Pollyanna and Elsie Dinsmore (though my mother always threatened to slap me if I acted like either one). And of course we had "classics" (usually two or three copies) like Little Women and The Swiss Family Robinson and Hans Brinker and the Silver Skates.
I'd like Petey to read my favorites, but I can't find Uncle Wiggily or the Raggedys anywhere*.
EDITOR'S NOTE: Eventually we were able to locate them as well as many of the Oz stories which I remember fondly to this day!
We loved Burgess' Old Mother West Wind stories and the Oz books (our library is so highfalutin', it doesn't have Oz books!). I used to spend hours with Nancy Drew-tho her stupidity in exploring "empty" houses herself led me to throw a book across my room.
We were very fond of the Bobbsey Twins, and Betty and I liked Honeybunch. Of course I spend hours dreaming over The Little Colonel. I had masses of Raggedy Ann and Raggedy Andy books. We had The Five Little Peppers and its sequels. I even had Pollyanna and Elsie Dinsmore (though my mother always threatened to slap me if I acted like either one). And of course we had "classics" (usually two or three copies) like Little Women and The Swiss Family Robinson and Hans Brinker and the Silver Skates.
I'd like Petey to read my favorites, but I can't find Uncle Wiggily or the Raggedys anywhere*.
EDITOR'S NOTE: Eventually we were able to locate them as well as many of the Oz stories which I remember fondly to this day!
July 21st, 1978: This Mortal Coil
Pete is very concerned over Grandma's illness. Yesterday he didn't want to go to the hospital with me and I explained to him that I wanted to go because my mother is very sick. I asked him, if I was very sick, wouldn't you want to be with me?"
Last night he was sitting on his bed looking very solemn. I asked him why and he said, " I'm thinking about Grandma for you". He asked me if she was dying and I said, "yes, I think so". Then he said, "can I go to the funeral?".
He's very concerned with death and what happens to your body after you die. Yesterday he wanted to know where the soul is.
Today we went to the hospital with Dad. Sister Angelica was there when I went to see mom, and she arranged for Peter to come down and see her. Mom seemed to know him and be glad to see him. He turned very shy and sat on my lap. We talked about when he was in hospital. He remembered his blue gown with yellow chickies on it-he said he liked it the best. He remembered the toy the nurses made him from the heart monitor discs (the use to roll it down his tummy). Then he kissed Grandma's hand and told her goodbye, and so did I.
Last night he was sitting on his bed looking very solemn. I asked him why and he said, " I'm thinking about Grandma for you". He asked me if she was dying and I said, "yes, I think so". Then he said, "can I go to the funeral?".
He's very concerned with death and what happens to your body after you die. Yesterday he wanted to know where the soul is.
Today we went to the hospital with Dad. Sister Angelica was there when I went to see mom, and she arranged for Peter to come down and see her. Mom seemed to know him and be glad to see him. He turned very shy and sat on my lap. We talked about when he was in hospital. He remembered his blue gown with yellow chickies on it-he said he liked it the best. He remembered the toy the nurses made him from the heart monitor discs (the use to roll it down his tummy). Then he kissed Grandma's hand and told her goodbye, and so did I.
July 20th, 1978: "To Draw Your Cork" and other slang
I've been reading a lot of Georgette Heyer that I got from the State Library. So far I've read Powder and Patch, The Black Moth, and Friday's Child. They're not very improving, but I have learned a lot of 19th century slang. I know what a "wisty castor" is and what "to draw your cork" means. I even find myself using it.
When Pete made an excuse for something he'd done yesterday I said "You're doing it much too brown", and I know what a "leveller" and "a bunch of five's" are-though that expression hasn't changed much
To be mugged or to be robbed used to be "to be forked", but what puzzles me is how Georgette Heyer got to know all that slang. In Friday's Child, she even uses thieves' cant. It sounds authentic enough. Her dialogue is always believable (which is more than I can say for Emile Loring-the only book I ever found so bad that I threw it away even though I had nothing else to read! She must write with the O.E.D. at her side.
When Pete made an excuse for something he'd done yesterday I said "You're doing it much too brown", and I know what a "leveller" and "a bunch of five's" are-though that expression hasn't changed much
To be mugged or to be robbed used to be "to be forked", but what puzzles me is how Georgette Heyer got to know all that slang. In Friday's Child, she even uses thieves' cant. It sounds authentic enough. Her dialogue is always believable (which is more than I can say for Emile Loring-the only book I ever found so bad that I threw it away even though I had nothing else to read! She must write with the O.E.D. at her side.
July 19th, 1978: Ghost Stories
I've been reading ghost stories; Asquith's Second and Third Ghost Books, and the Fourth Ghost Book, with a different editor, whose selections I didn't like as well. My roommate and I saw a ghost in Hawaii-a tall faceless shape, like a blue flame. I felt it looking at me, she heard it "cough", and we both saw it in our hallway. Our hall was always cold after that-in Hawaii! We were so scared we moved our beds into one room, and put every religious object we could find (crosses, our Bibles, our prayer books) on the threshold of the room-and left the light on all night. We thought of having it exorcised, but the rites seemed so harsh to the poor ghost, we decided against it.
It never did us any harm-in fact, it didn't seem to have anything to do with us-and we only saw it once, tho the cold lingered. One of our friends had a rocking chair that rocked all by itself where ever she put it (and no, it wasn't a defect in the rockers).
Then I heard my grandmother's voice after she died. She'd never seen Petey, and I heard her voice from the corner by his crib. She just said "Oh, isn't he beautiful?" and I was comforted that she had seen him after all.
It never did us any harm-in fact, it didn't seem to have anything to do with us-and we only saw it once, tho the cold lingered. One of our friends had a rocking chair that rocked all by itself where ever she put it (and no, it wasn't a defect in the rockers).
Then I heard my grandmother's voice after she died. She'd never seen Petey, and I heard her voice from the corner by his crib. She just said "Oh, isn't he beautiful?" and I was comforted that she had seen him after all.
Sunday, August 5, 2018
July 18th, 1978: All about Fruit
I could lion fruit, if only Petey would too. Right now we have apples (the little green ones-the only kind Petey likes), watermelon, and black raspberries in the refrigerator (Betty keeps her watermelon in a ditch on the farm). I have kiwi fruit from New Zealand. It has a brown husk and is a clear green inside, with very tiny black seeds that are edible too. As its advertisement says, "no pith, now waste". At 69 cents apiece, for a fruit the size of an avocado or less, there's better not be waste! We have some golden cantaloupe, just perfectly ripe-and the on the table I have giant apricots from Dad's tree, and bananas. Oh, and I have a lemon in the refrigerator, for slices with my tea. Once a variety like this would have been the mark of a king's table, before cargo liners and refrigerated railway cars/airplanes. Even in Hawaii, apples were a luxury, though you could have all the papaya and pineapple you wanted for 9 cents/pound. But we have all the local produce-bananas, papayas (tho not very good ones) and pineapple too...and now even kiwi fruit.
July 17th, 1978: On Grandma Alice's failing health.
Mom is in the hospital again, the second time in two weeks. Again she had a high temperature and her blood pressure shot up. I saw her this morning. She was getting oxygen and an IV. Her hands hooked over the covers, so thin and frail they were like skeleton hands, or some little bird's claws. She said "hi" to me in a whisper, but, though her eyes were open, she had a puzzled look as if she didn't know why I was there.
After a while I went away. I went back tonight at 10:00pm, after our meeting about the church. Carol Wallace took me and stayed with Petey. I only intended to ask at the desk how she was, but they said, "Just go on back", so I did. Her eyes were open and she smiled at me, but then she didn't seem to see me any more. I kissed her and told her how much I love her (all in whispers so as not to wake the woman in the next bed), then sat beside her till she went to sleep. I tiptoed out, tho I don't think any noise I made would have wakened her-and met Carol and Petey at the hospital entrance sitting on a bench in the cool, under a full moon.
After a while I went away. I went back tonight at 10:00pm, after our meeting about the church. Carol Wallace took me and stayed with Petey. I only intended to ask at the desk how she was, but they said, "Just go on back", so I did. Her eyes were open and she smiled at me, but then she didn't seem to see me any more. I kissed her and told her how much I love her (all in whispers so as not to wake the woman in the next bed), then sat beside her till she went to sleep. I tiptoed out, tho I don't think any noise I made would have wakened her-and met Carol and Petey at the hospital entrance sitting on a bench in the cool, under a full moon.
July 16th, 1978 (Sunday): Grandpa Hans preaches the sermon
Dad preached the sermon today-on predestination. He talked about the parable of the wheat and the thorns, and it was frightening because-as he pointed out-we can't know which we are. He mentioned the attitudes of despair, or condescension this can produce, "knowing" that we are saved ("the elect are numbered") and therefore looking down on everyone else, or "knowing" we are doomed so that nothing we do matters.
I believe in predestination a little (did Judas have to betray Christ, or had he a choice?). At least I believe there is an appropriate time for us to die and we have no right to hasten it by suicide, but I don't think I believe we must be good or bad. Surely "the forgiveness of sins" means we can choose to be be better-to abandon old ways and lead a good life (but I don't know about venial and cardinal sins-is a distinction God makes?-and how do we know?). What is the unforgivable sin, the sin against the Holy Ghost? I don't know what I'll be at harvest time.
I believe in predestination a little (did Judas have to betray Christ, or had he a choice?). At least I believe there is an appropriate time for us to die and we have no right to hasten it by suicide, but I don't think I believe we must be good or bad. Surely "the forgiveness of sins" means we can choose to be be better-to abandon old ways and lead a good life (but I don't know about venial and cardinal sins-is a distinction God makes?-and how do we know?). What is the unforgivable sin, the sin against the Holy Ghost? I don't know what I'll be at harvest time.
July 15th, 1978: Church Yardsale
Our church yard sale was today. It was hot (must have been 100 degrees) and overcast. There were a few drops of rain, causing some trepidation because the sale was outside, but there wasn't any storm. Fifteen people were waiting at 8:00am and started buying before they even had time to put all the dishes out. I went at noon, in a sleeveless top, because I hadn't realized we'd be outside. Fortunately, Dad was there mowing the lawn, so I sent him home for a long sleeved shirt and some sunscreen.
We were busy. I smoked two cigarettes in two hours. Mary stayed with me to help. That was fortunate because she'd priced the clothes and some of the tags had been switched-and some were just missing. Some people switched the jewelry from one dish (50 cents) to the other (25 cents) too, and some of the earrings had been lost.
Everything has half price after noon, but some of the customers tried to bargain even lower than half, and one man asked us to hold a crib and then called to say he didn't want it after all (we could have sold it three times).
Mary said we took in $183.00 and our share of the Bible School cost is $50.00, so the sale was a success!
July 14th, 1978: Wonder Woman
Pete can talk of nothing but his "Wonder Woman" doll. I finally ordered it from Sears yesterday. Pete has been waiting for two months. He''s been promised one for six months, since the foot broke off the one we got at a garage sale. I hope he isn't disappointed. The blurb says "poseable plastic body", but the picture looks as if she hasn't any joints, so I'm afraid she won't sit down.
He's hard at work making a car for her out of an empty Kleenex box (he emptied it on purpose) and kool-aid can lids. I don't think she'll fit in any of the cars he has-she's bigger than his Batman and Robin dolls (EDITOR'S NOTE: Mego ACTION FIGURES-Ahem!) She's also much bigger than the doll who is supposed to be her "mother" (in that the doll has a crown so she's Queen Hippolyta).
Pete said, "How will she kiss Diana? Can Wonder Woman pick her up?", but I don't know if her hands will hold anything (EDITOR'S NOTE: These being the days just prior to action figures have "action grips" ala later variations of GI Joe). She doesn't come with a magic lasso, although she has a tiara and bracelets so we plan to make one out of gold elastic cord...(but it won't stay tied in a knot). Sears said it would take 4 to 5 days to get here (EDITOR'S NOTE: Pre-Amazon Prime, y'all)-Monday or Tuesday, but Pete says, "I just can't wait, Mommy..it's too hard! I just can't wait"
He's hard at work making a car for her out of an empty Kleenex box (he emptied it on purpose) and kool-aid can lids. I don't think she'll fit in any of the cars he has-she's bigger than his Batman and Robin dolls (EDITOR'S NOTE: Mego ACTION FIGURES-Ahem!) She's also much bigger than the doll who is supposed to be her "mother" (in that the doll has a crown so she's Queen Hippolyta).
Pete said, "How will she kiss Diana? Can Wonder Woman pick her up?", but I don't know if her hands will hold anything (EDITOR'S NOTE: These being the days just prior to action figures have "action grips" ala later variations of GI Joe). She doesn't come with a magic lasso, although she has a tiara and bracelets so we plan to make one out of gold elastic cord...(but it won't stay tied in a knot). Sears said it would take 4 to 5 days to get here (EDITOR'S NOTE: Pre-Amazon Prime, y'all)-Monday or Tuesday, but Pete says, "I just can't wait, Mommy..it's too hard! I just can't wait"
July 12th, 1978: Happy without a Daddy
While picking books for Pete at the library the other day, I noticed the dearth of books suitable for boys with no father. There are plenty about loving relationships with fathers, doing things together, and family units (with the proper "boy, girl, baby, mother, father, cat, dog, and stationwagon"); there are lots of "mother/daughter" books; but I didn't find any that are "mother/son"-with no father in the offing. Judith Viorst's come closest: Mother does things with the boys, but there are brothers, and Petey's all alone.
Surely there must be other "Single mothers" who get tired of reading about perfect families. Pete is so much influenced by what he reads. Last night we read Paul, the Hero of the Fire, where Paul runs away and gets a job at the Fair to help Mom and Dad's finances, and Petey said, "I'd better get a job and help you, Mommy". I asked him what he'd do, and he said, "I'll feed the chickens at the farm. That would be a job, wouldn't it?". But when I told him he'd have to do it every night, he said, "Guess what? I won't get a job after all.".
I wish I had a book to read him that had a mother and a son being happy together without a daddy.
Surely there must be other "Single mothers" who get tired of reading about perfect families. Pete is so much influenced by what he reads. Last night we read Paul, the Hero of the Fire, where Paul runs away and gets a job at the Fair to help Mom and Dad's finances, and Petey said, "I'd better get a job and help you, Mommy". I asked him what he'd do, and he said, "I'll feed the chickens at the farm. That would be a job, wouldn't it?". But when I told him he'd have to do it every night, he said, "Guess what? I won't get a job after all.".
I wish I had a book to read him that had a mother and a son being happy together without a daddy.
July 11th, 1978: Cleaning Day
I had an irresistible urge to clean things today, so I dusted all the books in two of the four bookcases in my bedroom, carefully taking out each one, dusting it completely, and stacking it with the others from the same shelf. Then I dusted the empty shelves. My book cases have books on both sides so this was no mean feat. The "cases" are metal stands with open work shelves, on which the books balance precariously. Every time I bump one in the night, the books go over like dominoes. I replaced all the books (absolutely necessary since they were on my bed), but still felt the urge to clean.
I took a bath with with skin-so-soft oil (very nice). Pete took one, and I scrubbed the bathroom (Pete heard me tapping the Comet can and thought there was someone at the door-at 11:00pm at night (if there had been, I wouldn't have answered).
Then I washed all the dishes, and-still unsatisfied-scrubbed the kitchen sink and the bottom of my dishpan, and the kitchen table....and I dusted the small table that holds my jewelry findings, and the cases of findings, (but my energy ran out before I got to the stove and our refrigerator). Still, I sat down in a glow (both sorts) of accomplishment.
I read Margaret Halsey's Demi-Paradise, and it left me feeling inferior. I have no "Cause Celebre" to write about-McCarthyism and Vietnam having died too soon (though I dodn't regret their passing). and tho I read the Elizabethans, I have no one to quote them to. Then I began Elizabeth Foster's The Islanders, and immediately felt better. I remembered the Abnakis from Robert Lowell's Mills of the Kavanaughs, and, better still, she mentioned The White House Cookbook. I have a copy of it sitting on my shelf. I once tried to manufacture an eggnog (with a single egg) from its recipe which begins "take a dozen eggs...". Mine was NOT a success, but I couldn't blame the book. If only I'd had laying hens and a cow to milk for the cream, I'm sure it would have been very good. She, like Ann Bridge, is no mean botanist. Since I have an absolutely brown thumb, I love reading about successful gardens. Gladys Taber charms me too. The impossible doesn't leave me unhappy, only the unlikely.
I took a bath with with skin-so-soft oil (very nice). Pete took one, and I scrubbed the bathroom (Pete heard me tapping the Comet can and thought there was someone at the door-at 11:00pm at night (if there had been, I wouldn't have answered).
Then I washed all the dishes, and-still unsatisfied-scrubbed the kitchen sink and the bottom of my dishpan, and the kitchen table....and I dusted the small table that holds my jewelry findings, and the cases of findings, (but my energy ran out before I got to the stove and our refrigerator). Still, I sat down in a glow (both sorts) of accomplishment.
I read Margaret Halsey's Demi-Paradise, and it left me feeling inferior. I have no "Cause Celebre" to write about-McCarthyism and Vietnam having died too soon (though I dodn't regret their passing). and tho I read the Elizabethans, I have no one to quote them to. Then I began Elizabeth Foster's The Islanders, and immediately felt better. I remembered the Abnakis from Robert Lowell's Mills of the Kavanaughs, and, better still, she mentioned The White House Cookbook. I have a copy of it sitting on my shelf. I once tried to manufacture an eggnog (with a single egg) from its recipe which begins "take a dozen eggs...". Mine was NOT a success, but I couldn't blame the book. If only I'd had laying hens and a cow to milk for the cream, I'm sure it would have been very good. She, like Ann Bridge, is no mean botanist. Since I have an absolutely brown thumb, I love reading about successful gardens. Gladys Taber charms me too. The impossible doesn't leave me unhappy, only the unlikely.
Sunday, July 29, 2018
July 10th, 1978: Miseries, Day Terrors, and Witches.
Petey had a bad attack of the miseries this afternoon. For once, we had no company, and he was out on the front lawn playing "space" with his fort made of two cardboard boxes, his shoebox lid controls, and his space guns. Suddenly he ran into the house, and burst into the kitchen crying. I asked him if he'd hurt himself, but he said no, he didn't hurt anywhere, and he didn't know why he was crying. I asked him if he were lonely, or if something happened to frighten him, but he just cried more. I held him on my lap and hugged him and kissed him on his neck-first below his chin where it tickles, and told him I loved him, and finally he stopped crying and seemed perfectly happy again, but I still don't know why he was crying and neither does he.
I've heard of night terrors-Pete has them sometimes, tho' not so often now as before-but I've never heard of a child having day terrors before. It's like the time he lost his memory of an hour and inexplicably forgot we'd had dinner (his favorite-fried chicken-at that).
Tonight I read Pete The Girl& The Goatherd or This and That, Thus and So. The girl goes to work for a witch to become beautiful, and then doesn't like it. I told Peter I'd better go to work for the witch, and he said "No, don't do it, you're too beautiful!-she'd make you ugly. Please don't go to work for any witch, mommy!" I promised I wouldn't, and thanked Pete for the compliment.
I didn't tell him there aren't any witches, because of course, there are. Just look what a following Sybil Leek has...and when I lived in San Francisco, I saw Anton LaVey out riding, with his pet lion in the back of the car. I am afraid as many people celebrate the Black Mass now as did in the Middle Ages.
There will always be people seeking an easy road to power or beauty or wealth. Our only only mistake is in ignoring them or laughing them off. The love of evil for it's own sake is dangerous (as King James remarked before me). Whether spells and incantations really work is immaterial, it's the wish to do evil which can always be gratified, that makes the Satanists formidable.
I've heard of night terrors-Pete has them sometimes, tho' not so often now as before-but I've never heard of a child having day terrors before. It's like the time he lost his memory of an hour and inexplicably forgot we'd had dinner (his favorite-fried chicken-at that).
Tonight I read Pete The Girl& The Goatherd or This and That, Thus and So. The girl goes to work for a witch to become beautiful, and then doesn't like it. I told Peter I'd better go to work for the witch, and he said "No, don't do it, you're too beautiful!-she'd make you ugly. Please don't go to work for any witch, mommy!" I promised I wouldn't, and thanked Pete for the compliment.
I didn't tell him there aren't any witches, because of course, there are. Just look what a following Sybil Leek has...and when I lived in San Francisco, I saw Anton LaVey out riding, with his pet lion in the back of the car. I am afraid as many people celebrate the Black Mass now as did in the Middle Ages.
There will always be people seeking an easy road to power or beauty or wealth. Our only only mistake is in ignoring them or laughing them off. The love of evil for it's own sake is dangerous (as King James remarked before me). Whether spells and incantations really work is immaterial, it's the wish to do evil which can always be gratified, that makes the Satanists formidable.
Juyly 9th, 1978: On "sneak writing" and demanding children
Tonight is really too hot to sleep. It reminds me of the summer nights in Illinois, when I used to sneak downstairs with my book long after dark. I would switch on the light and the floor would be a seething black mass of cockroaches (EDITOR'S NOTE: *SHUDDERS*). I'd give them time to clear and settle to read to an accompaniment of cicadas and peepers from the pond. The air would be hot to breathe and full of shrill maddening sound-the book a cool hospitable escape. I could submerge myself in snow and Christmas preparations or voyage on the high seas (I wanted to run away to sea fro years until I discovered girls weren't allowed to sign on as cabin boys).
Now I no longer have to sneak to read at night (tho' I have neighbors who think it peculiar that sometimes stay up till as late as 2:00am!), but I do most of my reading, and all of my writing after Pete's safely in bed. Otherwise he always wants attention right at the denouement-is the detective about to announce the murderer?, Will the runaway be caught before they get to Gretna Green?...then Pete will want a drink, a playmate, a shoe tied, a story, or a hug. Whatever the reason, Momma will have to get there in a hurry...and "there" is usually the front lawn when he just sits and shouts till I appear.
If I try to write while he's awake, he endeavors to help me by drawing pictures in my book, or writing a story himself-for which I have to spell out all the words-or by insisting that read to him everything I've written down, on which occasions, he amends what I've written by inserting every incident I've left out, saying "now put that in, momma", and insisting I read him the amended version.
Right now, though, he's safely in bed, and here I am in a hot kitchen (no cockroaches, though) "sneak writing".
Now I no longer have to sneak to read at night (tho' I have neighbors who think it peculiar that sometimes stay up till as late as 2:00am!), but I do most of my reading, and all of my writing after Pete's safely in bed. Otherwise he always wants attention right at the denouement-is the detective about to announce the murderer?, Will the runaway be caught before they get to Gretna Green?...then Pete will want a drink, a playmate, a shoe tied, a story, or a hug. Whatever the reason, Momma will have to get there in a hurry...and "there" is usually the front lawn when he just sits and shouts till I appear.
If I try to write while he's awake, he endeavors to help me by drawing pictures in my book, or writing a story himself-for which I have to spell out all the words-or by insisting that read to him everything I've written down, on which occasions, he amends what I've written by inserting every incident I've left out, saying "now put that in, momma", and insisting I read him the amended version.
Right now, though, he's safely in bed, and here I am in a hot kitchen (no cockroaches, though) "sneak writing".
July 8th, 1978: "Hans and Alice-Till Death Do Us Part"
Yesterday was Mom and Dad's 43rd Wedding Anniversary. Their marriage has endured tremendous hardships. They went from a well to do family with a cook, a maid, a nursemaid for me, and then a nurse for Betty, to having three children, no staff, and now money when the C.C.C. collapsed with the outbreak of World War II.
Howard was born prematurely with an incomplete palate, had to be nursed for hours with a special bottle, and-at six months old-had to be hospitalized and drugged to keep him from tearing his lungs apart with whooping cough.
Mom ran her hand through the washing machine wringer and broke all the bones in her hand, and Dad had to be hospitalized with mumps.
He tried all the services in turn and they rejected him because of his crippled hands (EDITOR'S NOTE: Fireworks accident), so he finally joined the Armed Services branch of the Red Cross. Then Mom and Dad endured endless separations while he was regularly transferred on 24 hour notice. We moved all ove rth United States, with Mom usually coping with the moves. The worst moment was when Dad had to leave for Alaska on Christmas Eve. He was gone two years and Howard forgot him, and I didn't recognize him when he came home.
Then there was the struggle of finding a civilian job again, in a place where mom could teach-and the breaking up of the family began when I went away to college.
There were years osf separatin (I made it home only once in 8 years) as Betty, Howard, and I married (in my case, more than once) and moved about. Then Dad was hospitalized again, Mother developed cancer, and had to have X-ray treatments, then had a stroke, then found she had Multiple Sclerosis (MS). Her physical condition has steadily declined. She had several broken bones, then broker her hip, which put her in a wheelchair...and she only has one functioning kidney.
Just a few days before their Anniversary, Mom was hospitalized again. Dad shares her nursing care wtih Betty, but he has cataracts and trouble with his vision.
But in spite of all their troubles, their marriage has endured for 43 years. I'm afraid I lack the patience, the endurance (even the stoicism), and the ability to compromise that has kept them together all these years.
Thinking of them, "ti;; death do us part" emerges as real commitment.
Howard was born prematurely with an incomplete palate, had to be nursed for hours with a special bottle, and-at six months old-had to be hospitalized and drugged to keep him from tearing his lungs apart with whooping cough.
Mom ran her hand through the washing machine wringer and broke all the bones in her hand, and Dad had to be hospitalized with mumps.
He tried all the services in turn and they rejected him because of his crippled hands (EDITOR'S NOTE: Fireworks accident), so he finally joined the Armed Services branch of the Red Cross. Then Mom and Dad endured endless separations while he was regularly transferred on 24 hour notice. We moved all ove rth United States, with Mom usually coping with the moves. The worst moment was when Dad had to leave for Alaska on Christmas Eve. He was gone two years and Howard forgot him, and I didn't recognize him when he came home.
Then there was the struggle of finding a civilian job again, in a place where mom could teach-and the breaking up of the family began when I went away to college.
There were years osf separatin (I made it home only once in 8 years) as Betty, Howard, and I married (in my case, more than once) and moved about. Then Dad was hospitalized again, Mother developed cancer, and had to have X-ray treatments, then had a stroke, then found she had Multiple Sclerosis (MS). Her physical condition has steadily declined. She had several broken bones, then broker her hip, which put her in a wheelchair...and she only has one functioning kidney.
Just a few days before their Anniversary, Mom was hospitalized again. Dad shares her nursing care wtih Betty, but he has cataracts and trouble with his vision.
But in spite of all their troubles, their marriage has endured for 43 years. I'm afraid I lack the patience, the endurance (even the stoicism), and the ability to compromise that has kept them together all these years.
Thinking of them, "ti;; death do us part" emerges as real commitment.
July 7th, 1978: Origin of Neurosis
Petey really worries me lately. He keeps saying "I don't like myself". When I ask him why, sometimes he jokes about, says "myself hits me", and hits himself. Sometimes he just says "I don't know".
I ask him WHAT about himself he doesn't like, and he just says "I don't know", but it calls for constant reassurance: that he's a good little boy, that I like him, that other people like him, because his second standard refrain is "nobody likes me, do they?" (considering that <the neighbor kids> spend every minute here that Pete's allowed outside, I'd say a lot of people like him).
Sometimes he lines up all his toys and addresses them one by one, "Teddybear, I don't like you. Rabbit Rabbit, I don't like you, Raggedy Ann, I don't like you. Raggedy Andy, I don't like you....", and I have to pick up each one and cuddle it as it cries because Petey doesn't like it.
Sometimes, of course, it's "Mommy, I don't like you", but always alternated by "you're so lovable, do you know that?"
I've told him sometimes, "I always love you, but when you're naughty, I don't like you very much", but the times he says "I don't like myself" aren't always, or even often, when he's naughty. I hope he'll outgrow it...like his fear of bathtubs and thunder
------
EDITOR'S NOTE: Thunder, yes, bathtubs, on the other hand....
I ask him WHAT about himself he doesn't like, and he just says "I don't know", but it calls for constant reassurance: that he's a good little boy, that I like him, that other people like him, because his second standard refrain is "nobody likes me, do they?" (considering that <the neighbor kids> spend every minute here that Pete's allowed outside, I'd say a lot of people like him).
Sometimes he lines up all his toys and addresses them one by one, "Teddybear, I don't like you. Rabbit Rabbit, I don't like you, Raggedy Ann, I don't like you. Raggedy Andy, I don't like you....", and I have to pick up each one and cuddle it as it cries because Petey doesn't like it.
Sometimes, of course, it's "Mommy, I don't like you", but always alternated by "you're so lovable, do you know that?"
I've told him sometimes, "I always love you, but when you're naughty, I don't like you very much", but the times he says "I don't like myself" aren't always, or even often, when he's naughty. I hope he'll outgrow it...like his fear of bathtubs and thunder
------
EDITOR'S NOTE: Thunder, yes, bathtubs, on the other hand....
July 6th, 1978: On Tea
Tomorrow I'll make myself a pot of tea. I save it for special treats because it's hard to drink a whole pot by myself before it gets cold or steeps too long, and I don't like warmed-over or stewed tea. My favorite is Earl Gray. I like the delicate fragrance, almost like a perfume. I like English Breakfast, Irish Breakfast, and Russian Caravan. These are especially good if you add milk (who can afford cream now?) to your tea. I like Jasmine with the little yellow flowers tucked in among the tea leaves, and I like herbal teas-the smoky Yerba Buena (mate) tea-in moderation. I once found to my cost that, drunk in large amounts, it causes hallucinations-followed by violent headache. I like the astringent chamomile tea (what Peter Rabbit had instead of berries) and the mild peppermint. But any tea has to be made with really boiling water in a bot that's been heated first.
I have an English china pot, with a hollow handle that fills with tea an burns your hand, but I prefer my Japanese metal teapot-with a high, bamboo wound handle and a strainer basket so the tea leaves can be removed before the tea gets too strong.
I have an English china pot, with a hollow handle that fills with tea an burns your hand, but I prefer my Japanese metal teapot-with a high, bamboo wound handle and a strainer basket so the tea leaves can be removed before the tea gets too strong.
Saturday, July 21, 2018
July 5th, 1978: In which Nancy calls Pete's bluff
Today Petey threatened to run away again. Vicky was here and was very shocked when I said "OK...I'll help you pack". I said "I'll have to find another little boy to give your toys to because you can't take them with you". Pete said, "I'll take a big suitcase and take them all" (it would have to be a very large suitcase). I said "oh no, you can't take a suitcase because they're mine. You'll have to pack in a bandana handkerchief, three pairs of underpants, three pairs of socks, and a clean handkerchief-that's all you can take". And Pete said "I'll come back tonight and steal a big suitcase", and I said "of course you'll miss 'Charlie's Angels'"...then Pete thought maybe he'd run away tomorrow instead. All the time Vicky was saying "She doesn't mean it...you don't mean it do you??? Petey, you can stay at my house....she's only teasing"-very agitated. But Pete and I always play this game. In fact, when he says "I don't like you", I say, "OK then, I'll run away", and he usually changes his mind.
Tonight he said, "Momma, would you let me run away?", and I said, "Of course not, I wouldn't really let you run away!". I thought I'd be reassuring, but he said, "But Momma, you always let me run away!"
Tonight he said, "Momma, would you let me run away?", and I said, "Of course not, I wouldn't really let you run away!". I thought I'd be reassuring, but he said, "But Momma, you always let me run away!"
Monday, July 16, 2018
July 4th, 1978: Magic Sparklers
Petey and I spent a very quiet Fourth. We didn't get to the program in the park, though Petey practiced his singing all day (lying on the floor), "Are you sleeping, are you sleeping?", "Minute Men, Minute Men/Get up on the Double-this means lots of trouble! This means war!"
Nobody told me he was supposed to be in the program 'till today, and it was raining anyhow. Then the Plazas decided to watch the fireworks from the campus instead of from our lawn, and Pete was heartbroken until they said he could go along. They gave him three boxes of sparklers, and he had one from last year.
He told me he held them out by the end. One spark lit on his hand, but he said he only whispered "ouch"-so no one would know. He twirled his sparklers, "did you know they're magic? They leave lines in the air!...And I had red ones and green ones and bluish ones!".
He also had popcorn (no salt) and two cups of coffee ("just like the grownups!, and I liked it!"*)
He came home sizzling with exclamation points ("and the noise scared me a little, Mommy!").
*EDITOR'S NOTE: And so began a 40 year love affair/addiction to the stuff! =-)
Nobody told me he was supposed to be in the program 'till today, and it was raining anyhow. Then the Plazas decided to watch the fireworks from the campus instead of from our lawn, and Pete was heartbroken until they said he could go along. They gave him three boxes of sparklers, and he had one from last year.
He told me he held them out by the end. One spark lit on his hand, but he said he only whispered "ouch"-so no one would know. He twirled his sparklers, "did you know they're magic? They leave lines in the air!...And I had red ones and green ones and bluish ones!".
He also had popcorn (no salt) and two cups of coffee ("just like the grownups!, and I liked it!"*)
He came home sizzling with exclamation points ("and the noise scared me a little, Mommy!").
*EDITOR'S NOTE: And so began a 40 year love affair/addiction to the stuff! =-)
July 3rd 1978: The Joy of Rain
Pete's growing up again. On Saturday the mere mention of the word "thunder" could throw him into a tizzy, and any time he saw lightening, his first words were "will it hurt me?". On Sunday it rained, but we walked to the Dairy Queen in the cloudy interludes. Pete wanted to take his bicycle out, and when I said, "But there's thunder.", he said "oh, that's just a noise". So he rode back and forth on the sidewalk across the street.
Today he, Lolita and Vicky were coloring in Lolita's new Batman coloring book and he was reluctant to come in even when the first drops of rain fell. The clouds were real purple thunderheads and the air was the curious color of storms. The rain sluiced down and we watched it skipping in the street.
"Is the rain dancing, Mommy?"
The rain dwindled down to a mist, and we went outside to play "monsters" on the lawn racing from tree to tree ("just one last race"), when the big drops started again. Petey took off his wet shoes, then went out on the drenched front steps in his stocking feet to see if it was still raining and watch the orange sliver of sunset. He spent a long time watching the storm from the front window after I'd dried him off, raining raindrops on the window pane, his fear of storms completely forgotten in the joy of rain.
Today he, Lolita and Vicky were coloring in Lolita's new Batman coloring book and he was reluctant to come in even when the first drops of rain fell. The clouds were real purple thunderheads and the air was the curious color of storms. The rain sluiced down and we watched it skipping in the street.
"Is the rain dancing, Mommy?"
The rain dwindled down to a mist, and we went outside to play "monsters" on the lawn racing from tree to tree ("just one last race"), when the big drops started again. Petey took off his wet shoes, then went out on the drenched front steps in his stocking feet to see if it was still raining and watch the orange sliver of sunset. He spent a long time watching the storm from the front window after I'd dried him off, raining raindrops on the window pane, his fear of storms completely forgotten in the joy of rain.
Saturday, July 14, 2018
July 2, 1978: Of minor gods, cruel words, and song lyrics
I have just been reading Noel's The Mythology of Middle Earth about Tolkien's use of mythology, especially in The Hobbit and The Ring Cycle, and Fritz Leiber's Our Lady of Darkness about megapolismancy, the black magic inherent in the sheer mas of cities (in this case, San Francisco).
They set me wondering about how future archaeologists would view our civilization...and what they would say of our current myths. Specifically, I wondered what they'd do if they unearthed a cache of Hanna-Barbera cartoons. Ore what they would make of Saturday morning TV. We no longer revere the Greek and Roman gods and goddesses, but we have "Isis", "Shazam", "Spiderman", and the "Super Friends" (including Wonder Woman and Superman). We have our own cults of "shape changers"(i.e The Wonder Twins and others), and we have giants ("The Great Grape Ape, for instance).
Peter told me tonight, "I don't like you, and I'm going to stay separate from you in my room, except for "Super Friends"! Petey always wants to play his Batman or Spiderman or Superman. How many adults secretly wish they could?
Peter's song for guitar and coffee can:
There was an old lady who was in a wheelchair
And the very old lady said
"I wish I had someone to help with my work"
And she travelled all over the world
and when she came to the place she wanted, she found assistance there
She found assistance there
And she and her assistant had a car
And the lived happily ever after
(EDITOR'S NOTE: Remember, I was still 5 at the time).
They set me wondering about how future archaeologists would view our civilization...and what they would say of our current myths. Specifically, I wondered what they'd do if they unearthed a cache of Hanna-Barbera cartoons. Ore what they would make of Saturday morning TV. We no longer revere the Greek and Roman gods and goddesses, but we have "Isis", "Shazam", "Spiderman", and the "Super Friends" (including Wonder Woman and Superman). We have our own cults of "shape changers"(i.e The Wonder Twins and others), and we have giants ("The Great Grape Ape, for instance).
Peter told me tonight, "I don't like you, and I'm going to stay separate from you in my room, except for "Super Friends"! Petey always wants to play his Batman or Spiderman or Superman. How many adults secretly wish they could?
Peter's song for guitar and coffee can:
There was an old lady who was in a wheelchair
And the very old lady said
"I wish I had someone to help with my work"
And she travelled all over the world
and when she came to the place she wanted, she found assistance there
She found assistance there
And she and her assistant had a car
And the lived happily ever after
(EDITOR'S NOTE: Remember, I was still 5 at the time).
June 30, 1978: Bicycyle adventures, an invite to swim, and green peaceful evenings
Tonight was very special. It was a long, light, hot summer evening. Pete watched "Wonder Woman" till 8:00pm, and then we set out for a "bicycle walk". Pete got off and we walked the bike across all the streets, but he rode on all the sidewalks.
"I want to do it all by myself, Mommy, and not be pushed".
He managed uneven pavements very well, and has finally learned to steer, so he wasn't always on the curb or in someone's lawn.
I was "the announcer" as he pedalled in an imaginary motorcycle race. When we came home, Daniel and Maria were sitting in front with Patrick Plaza...just home from Germany. We talked about different countries, and about being homesick while Pete lay in our lawn chair-with his Batmobile and his jeep, Batman, Robin, and Riddler. Mary Jo came home and invited Pete and me to go swimming in the big pool before it opens to the public (EDITOR'S NOTE: This is referring to the now defunct Ontario Aquatic Center), and Daneil gave Pete an innertube to float in. Pete squished in the water on the lawn to help was the innertube, then took off his shoes and socks and waded. If there's a puddle anywhere, he'll find it and wade in it!
He played with his outgrown fire engine (soon to be given away to "Diana's baby") while I cooked tamales for dinner. He wanted dinner by candlelight, so we lit my blue candle. The fan made the candle flicker wildly and most of it melted away, so Pete promised to me a new one for Mother's Day. He ate to my narration of Bible stories, from creation through the flood, and then he had the story of Abraham and Isaac for his bedtime reading. He went to sleep without protest, so I'd be sure to wake up for "Super Friends" (I slept through it last Saturday and didn't get Pete up to watch). It was a green and peaceful evening.
"I want to do it all by myself, Mommy, and not be pushed".
He managed uneven pavements very well, and has finally learned to steer, so he wasn't always on the curb or in someone's lawn.
I was "the announcer" as he pedalled in an imaginary motorcycle race. When we came home, Daniel and Maria were sitting in front with Patrick Plaza...just home from Germany. We talked about different countries, and about being homesick while Pete lay in our lawn chair-with his Batmobile and his jeep, Batman, Robin, and Riddler. Mary Jo came home and invited Pete and me to go swimming in the big pool before it opens to the public (EDITOR'S NOTE: This is referring to the now defunct Ontario Aquatic Center), and Daneil gave Pete an innertube to float in. Pete squished in the water on the lawn to help was the innertube, then took off his shoes and socks and waded. If there's a puddle anywhere, he'll find it and wade in it!
He played with his outgrown fire engine (soon to be given away to "Diana's baby") while I cooked tamales for dinner. He wanted dinner by candlelight, so we lit my blue candle. The fan made the candle flicker wildly and most of it melted away, so Pete promised to me a new one for Mother's Day. He ate to my narration of Bible stories, from creation through the flood, and then he had the story of Abraham and Isaac for his bedtime reading. He went to sleep without protest, so I'd be sure to wake up for "Super Friends" (I slept through it last Saturday and didn't get Pete up to watch). It was a green and peaceful evening.
June 29th, 1978: Lemonade, Bandaids, and Resentment
I seem to be the neighborhood first aid station and lemonade stand. Every time Cindy, Lolita, or Vicky gets a scratch, they come to me for a Bandaid because "their mothers don't have any." I finally told Lolita to tell her mother to buy some.
I always dribble on plenty of Bactine first, to help prevent infection-but I wonder, does Bactine and a Bandaid constitute practicing medicine without a license?...and why I should I use up all my Bandaids on the neighbors? But I cant pass by those pleading faces-or Vicky saying, "This scratch hurts."
The lemonade irks me more. I don't mind making it once in a while for a special treat, but I don't expect to serve the whole neighborhood every day, and I especially don't like it when Lolita orders me to give her lemonade. I've taken to saying "no, but you can have a glass of water"...and what a lot of water I lug when Cindy and Lolita could go home for a drink (EDITOR'S NOTE: Cindy and Lolita lived in the house immediately in back of our duplex). Lemonade and Bandaids are luxuries on my budget, not necessities, but I suppose I'll go on purveying, and resenting it. Somewhere I keep hearing a voice saying "Inasmuch as ye do it unto the least of my creatures" and my conscience won't let me refuse....though my mind tells me it's an imposition. If only I could be reconciled to feeling one way or the other!
I always dribble on plenty of Bactine first, to help prevent infection-but I wonder, does Bactine and a Bandaid constitute practicing medicine without a license?...and why I should I use up all my Bandaids on the neighbors? But I cant pass by those pleading faces-or Vicky saying, "This scratch hurts."
The lemonade irks me more. I don't mind making it once in a while for a special treat, but I don't expect to serve the whole neighborhood every day, and I especially don't like it when Lolita orders me to give her lemonade. I've taken to saying "no, but you can have a glass of water"...and what a lot of water I lug when Cindy and Lolita could go home for a drink (EDITOR'S NOTE: Cindy and Lolita lived in the house immediately in back of our duplex). Lemonade and Bandaids are luxuries on my budget, not necessities, but I suppose I'll go on purveying, and resenting it. Somewhere I keep hearing a voice saying "Inasmuch as ye do it unto the least of my creatures" and my conscience won't let me refuse....though my mind tells me it's an imposition. If only I could be reconciled to feeling one way or the other!
Friday, July 13, 2018
June 28th, 1978: Defrosted Freezers, Dripping Paint, Batplanes and Beets
I read Gilbreth's (sp) Time Out For Happiness today and was surprised to find out it was the senior Gilbreths (sp) who originated the technique of having the nurse hand the surgeon the proper instrument, thus cutting some operating times as much as 2/3rds. AND they originated much of the rehabilitation study for the physically handicapped.
My day would have failed sadly in any time and motion study. It took me from 12:30pm to 6:00pm to defrost the refrigerator, but while I was doing that, I supervised two lots of children in Pete's wading pool-staying with them the whole time they were in, in case of accidents; went to a restaurant for lunch with Dad and Pete; went to the library (again with Dad and Pete); and read TOFH..
Pete and I painted the front steps (and ourselves) this morning-Pete doing a very good job in spite of getting his brush completely in the paint, and Dad and I cleaned the brushes while I was defrosting. I picked a hot day for it (my frozen apricots melted, but I didn't trust them anyway), and have now resolved to me efficient by not letting it get so heavily iced up again.
We had rain, a windstorm, and thunder tonight but about 9:00pm it was clear and still light, so Petey took his Batman and Spiderman planes with launchers outside.
When I looked out to see what he was doing, he and Daniel (Eiguren) each had one and they were having contests to see who could fire the furthest. They tried launching them sideways, upside-down, and straight up. One of Pete's shots misfired and he knocked Daniel's cap off. Vicky came over and Daniel surrendered his Batplane to her, but Laurie called her to come home at once and get ready for bed. She ran off with the plane, and Pete, small legs churning, went off indignantly after her to GET IT BACK. He and Daniel resumed their game, and Daniel got Pete to fire the planes simultaneously, one with each hand. One of the planes lit on Daniel's roof, and he knocked it down with a broom. They narrowly missed sticking it in the sycamore tree, so each shot was suspenseful. At 10:00pm, when it was dark, the two of them turned to more grownup pursuits than flights of fancy.
Our house is surrounded by gardens: Helen's garden, Daniel's garden, and Pete's "garden"-as planted by Daniel. It's a good thing I don't have a green thumb! I was admiring Helen's yucca plant today, in full flower, and she told me she's had it for 10 years and this is the first time its bloomed (I had an orchid in San Francisco and a well meaning Japanese gardener cut off the flowering stalk that takes 7 years to grow. I wonder if it's blooming for someone now?). She'd just decided it was a male and would never blossom when it "came out" spectacularly. She gave me a bouquet of nasturtiums (sp) and their leaves, with some carrot tops for "fern". They have a very faint pleasant odor, and I have them in a green cup that matches their leaves.
Pete's "garden" boasts four green peppers and Pete counts them every day, lest the neighbors pick one. There are tomato plants and some beets just sprouting. Daniel's garden occupies the front of the house: poppies, marigolds, and chrysanthemums-and all the space under the clotheslines (vegetables). Good thing my sister washes for me!
My day would have failed sadly in any time and motion study. It took me from 12:30pm to 6:00pm to defrost the refrigerator, but while I was doing that, I supervised two lots of children in Pete's wading pool-staying with them the whole time they were in, in case of accidents; went to a restaurant for lunch with Dad and Pete; went to the library (again with Dad and Pete); and read TOFH..
Pete and I painted the front steps (and ourselves) this morning-Pete doing a very good job in spite of getting his brush completely in the paint, and Dad and I cleaned the brushes while I was defrosting. I picked a hot day for it (my frozen apricots melted, but I didn't trust them anyway), and have now resolved to me efficient by not letting it get so heavily iced up again.
We had rain, a windstorm, and thunder tonight but about 9:00pm it was clear and still light, so Petey took his Batman and Spiderman planes with launchers outside.
When I looked out to see what he was doing, he and Daniel (Eiguren) each had one and they were having contests to see who could fire the furthest. They tried launching them sideways, upside-down, and straight up. One of Pete's shots misfired and he knocked Daniel's cap off. Vicky came over and Daniel surrendered his Batplane to her, but Laurie called her to come home at once and get ready for bed. She ran off with the plane, and Pete, small legs churning, went off indignantly after her to GET IT BACK. He and Daniel resumed their game, and Daniel got Pete to fire the planes simultaneously, one with each hand. One of the planes lit on Daniel's roof, and he knocked it down with a broom. They narrowly missed sticking it in the sycamore tree, so each shot was suspenseful. At 10:00pm, when it was dark, the two of them turned to more grownup pursuits than flights of fancy.
Our house is surrounded by gardens: Helen's garden, Daniel's garden, and Pete's "garden"-as planted by Daniel. It's a good thing I don't have a green thumb! I was admiring Helen's yucca plant today, in full flower, and she told me she's had it for 10 years and this is the first time its bloomed (I had an orchid in San Francisco and a well meaning Japanese gardener cut off the flowering stalk that takes 7 years to grow. I wonder if it's blooming for someone now?). She'd just decided it was a male and would never blossom when it "came out" spectacularly. She gave me a bouquet of nasturtiums (sp) and their leaves, with some carrot tops for "fern". They have a very faint pleasant odor, and I have them in a green cup that matches their leaves.
Pete's "garden" boasts four green peppers and Pete counts them every day, lest the neighbors pick one. There are tomato plants and some beets just sprouting. Daniel's garden occupies the front of the house: poppies, marigolds, and chrysanthemums-and all the space under the clotheslines (vegetables). Good thing my sister washes for me!
Thursday, July 12, 2018
June 27th, 1978: On Human Kindness and Greater Love
Today the milk of human kindness was overflowing for Peter. He took his Bat plane with launcher to Vicky Plaza's house and it wound up on the roof. Mark, Vicky's brother (and Pete's idol), went to Bonanza 88 and bought Pete a new plane with his own money!
Yai Kido came by, back from California, and brought Pete a cup and pitcher with faces and feet. The lid of the pitcher is a baseball cap (and our old ordinary one had a cracked handle). Pete was drinking lemonade out of his new cup all afternoon.
We went to Marilyn Cates' house for dinner and Pete fell out of the swing and cried. Little Christen offered him the best consultation she could think of; her teddy bear: "You want bear? You want bear?"
When we got home, Lorraine Bennett was just leaving and she'd left Pete 3 shirts( one with a funny gorilla he loved on sight) and a luminous figure of a boy kneeling that says "God is Love" to replace his luminous Jesus (knocked behind his dresser and broken). He missed his Jesus in the dark and was very happy to be reminded of God's love...but the funny thing about all this is that my father says I spoil Pete by giving him too much!
Peter and I watched the sunset. I'd never seen one like it. The sun was hidden behind the black silhouettes of trees, but above it was a white bank of clouds. They stood out in four giant rays, exactly like a child's drawing of the sun-each ray outlined along its edges in white light. As the sun set, the clouds blended together in a vast cushion of purple and pink. I have seen the Aurora Borealis in all its shades of mauve, magenta, and pink in a Nebraskan sky, and a really blue moon behind a San Francisco fog. I once saw the full moon in San Francisco with the pale circles of light around it. I thought surely they were an ominous portent-but nothing happened. When I left Hawaii, the poinsettias were aflame up the mountains, giving way to pink cliffs and the darker green of trees atop the Pali and a triple rainbow arched across the island reaching to each side. In France, even the air is pink and rain washed like an Utrillo canvas...BUT, as Lorraine said, "Tonight's sunset only needs Jesus to complete it"
Yai Kido came by, back from California, and brought Pete a cup and pitcher with faces and feet. The lid of the pitcher is a baseball cap (and our old ordinary one had a cracked handle). Pete was drinking lemonade out of his new cup all afternoon.
We went to Marilyn Cates' house for dinner and Pete fell out of the swing and cried. Little Christen offered him the best consultation she could think of; her teddy bear: "You want bear? You want bear?"
When we got home, Lorraine Bennett was just leaving and she'd left Pete 3 shirts( one with a funny gorilla he loved on sight) and a luminous figure of a boy kneeling that says "God is Love" to replace his luminous Jesus (knocked behind his dresser and broken). He missed his Jesus in the dark and was very happy to be reminded of God's love...but the funny thing about all this is that my father says I spoil Pete by giving him too much!
Peter and I watched the sunset. I'd never seen one like it. The sun was hidden behind the black silhouettes of trees, but above it was a white bank of clouds. They stood out in four giant rays, exactly like a child's drawing of the sun-each ray outlined along its edges in white light. As the sun set, the clouds blended together in a vast cushion of purple and pink. I have seen the Aurora Borealis in all its shades of mauve, magenta, and pink in a Nebraskan sky, and a really blue moon behind a San Francisco fog. I once saw the full moon in San Francisco with the pale circles of light around it. I thought surely they were an ominous portent-but nothing happened. When I left Hawaii, the poinsettias were aflame up the mountains, giving way to pink cliffs and the darker green of trees atop the Pali and a triple rainbow arched across the island reaching to each side. In France, even the air is pink and rain washed like an Utrillo canvas...BUT, as Lorraine said, "Tonight's sunset only needs Jesus to complete it"
June 26th, 1978: Invasion of the loc bloc space fleet
Pete has been building again and our kitchen table is covered with (some would say "cluttered with') space vehicles, There is the big one "Hookup Mindbreaker"-so called because a smaller ship ("Dart") hooks up to it to bring supplies (Mindbreaker has a siren it sounds for supplies...Petey, as siren, is earsplitting) and it has a secret weapon, a "mind breaker".
"Blue Midnight" is the super hero's ship. He singlehandedly, with his smokescreen that defies radar, wards of raids by the enemy in the "Devil Ship". "Blue Midnight" is actually red and blue, with clear loc blocs for windows.
There is "Siren Ship" because it has a round, red and white "siren", and there are two manned spaceships, "Geronimo" (which holds two <lego> men, and "Atlas" (which holds one). Except for the "Devil Ship" which comes from a nameless planet, these belong to the planet Ergol.
Not the least of my preoccupations today was thinking up appropriae names for the constantly increasing array of vehicles...but the Earth to Ergol transport is simply called "shuttle".
"Blue Midnight" is the super hero's ship. He singlehandedly, with his smokescreen that defies radar, wards of raids by the enemy in the "Devil Ship". "Blue Midnight" is actually red and blue, with clear loc blocs for windows.
There is "Siren Ship" because it has a round, red and white "siren", and there are two manned spaceships, "Geronimo" (which holds two <lego> men, and "Atlas" (which holds one). Except for the "Devil Ship" which comes from a nameless planet, these belong to the planet Ergol.
Not the least of my preoccupations today was thinking up appropriae names for the constantly increasing array of vehicles...but the Earth to Ergol transport is simply called "shuttle".
June 25th, 1978: Fishing with Cousin Bernie
Pete went fishing today with his "big cousin" Bernie. He was worried this morning because it was grey and overcast, but Bernie reassured him that that was the best weather for fishing. The fish come to the top for insects left by the rain, he said. Bernie had to get a license at Skagg's (drug store), and he got a jar of unsalted peanuts to share with Petey-but Petey knocked them over in the dirt. He got worms at F&F (Grandpa financed the trip so Pete could go). I asked Pete how he was going to get the worm on his hook, would he bait it?, and he said "Ugh! Yuk! I'm not putting the worm on!"
We dropped the two fisherman at Becker's Pond. I had visions of Pete being struck by lightening (in case it rained), or getting caught by a fishhook, but I noticed there were cars there, so there'd be a grownup in case of emergency, and steeled myself to leave him. We went back a little over an hour later. Pete hadn't caught anything (I was glad because I haven't the faintest idea how to clean a fish!), but I guess he's a good companion, because Bernie offered to take him fishing at the farm "where there's not so much moss"
We dropped the two fisherman at Becker's Pond. I had visions of Pete being struck by lightening (in case it rained), or getting caught by a fishhook, but I noticed there were cars there, so there'd be a grownup in case of emergency, and steeled myself to leave him. We went back a little over an hour later. Pete hadn't caught anything (I was glad because I haven't the faintest idea how to clean a fish!), but I guess he's a good companion, because Bernie offered to take him fishing at the farm "where there's not so much moss"
Wednesday, July 11, 2018
June 24th, 1978: Il Pluit
Pete had a huge temper tantrum this morning. I slept through the alarm and didn't get up to turn on "Super Friends". I finally spanked him and told him if he were going to get so upset about television, I'd have Grandpa take the set away.
I told him to go in his room, but he stopped crying. Later on, we had to pray about it and Pete was sorry. He watched "Batman and Robin" but the screen started jumping again (I mean the picture on the screen did) so it was no pleasure to watch "Isis", and we gave up channel 2 altogether when "the Cosby Kids" came on.
I swept the front steps-intending to get an early start and paint them, but the sky was cloudy so I didn't paint after all. This afternoon rain sluiced down and we had thunder. Pete's afraid of it, so I was glad he was snuggled in bed for his nap.
We made salt clay in the kitchen this morning. Pete put in the salt and cornstarch and was indignant when I added the water while he watched cartoons. I forgot to stir. The clay was very sticky and we had no waxed paper to roll it out so we used aluminum foil instead. The salt clay stuck to the foil and to the rolling pin, but we did cut some out with the cookie cutters and rolled the rest up in aluminum foil and sealed in a tupperware bowl.
It was an ideal day for sleeping and reading. I read Heyer's The Nonesuch, Carr's Scandal At High Chimney's and Taber's Harvest of Yesterday. I looked at one of Creasey's Dr Palfrey stories, but didn't like it, so I read only the ending. Then I leafed trhough some of my huge stack of old Argus Observers, cutting out articles aobut people I know to give to them. I can't read a newspaper a day and I usually do the whol week's worth on Saturday and Sunday-working backward to the bottom of the stack. Pete was sleeping when the thunderstorm broke and I went in and cuddled him in case he woke up and was frightened (just the word thunder can send him into a tizzy).
Pete watched "Blue Falcon" because the television was flickering (he told me to put that in). Vicky came over to play when the rain stopped but Cindy and Lolita ran away from Pete.
He watched "Bionic Woman" and had a picnic supper in the living room (ham, cheese, and green peppers).
I read but Pete draws. He drew "Batman and Mommy" tonight , and a "book" about "Spiderman and Batman". Then he wanted to draw in my "book", and was very angry because I wouldn't share.
I told him to go in his room, but he stopped crying. Later on, we had to pray about it and Pete was sorry. He watched "Batman and Robin" but the screen started jumping again (I mean the picture on the screen did) so it was no pleasure to watch "Isis", and we gave up channel 2 altogether when "the Cosby Kids" came on.
I swept the front steps-intending to get an early start and paint them, but the sky was cloudy so I didn't paint after all. This afternoon rain sluiced down and we had thunder. Pete's afraid of it, so I was glad he was snuggled in bed for his nap.
We made salt clay in the kitchen this morning. Pete put in the salt and cornstarch and was indignant when I added the water while he watched cartoons. I forgot to stir. The clay was very sticky and we had no waxed paper to roll it out so we used aluminum foil instead. The salt clay stuck to the foil and to the rolling pin, but we did cut some out with the cookie cutters and rolled the rest up in aluminum foil and sealed in a tupperware bowl.
It was an ideal day for sleeping and reading. I read Heyer's The Nonesuch, Carr's Scandal At High Chimney's and Taber's Harvest of Yesterday. I looked at one of Creasey's Dr Palfrey stories, but didn't like it, so I read only the ending. Then I leafed trhough some of my huge stack of old Argus Observers, cutting out articles aobut people I know to give to them. I can't read a newspaper a day and I usually do the whol week's worth on Saturday and Sunday-working backward to the bottom of the stack. Pete was sleeping when the thunderstorm broke and I went in and cuddled him in case he woke up and was frightened (just the word thunder can send him into a tizzy).
Pete watched "Blue Falcon" because the television was flickering (he told me to put that in). Vicky came over to play when the rain stopped but Cindy and Lolita ran away from Pete.
He watched "Bionic Woman" and had a picnic supper in the living room (ham, cheese, and green peppers).
I read but Pete draws. He drew "Batman and Mommy" tonight , and a "book" about "Spiderman and Batman". Then he wanted to draw in my "book", and was very angry because I wouldn't share.
June 23rd, 1978: Not so secret identities
Pete was Batman all day today.
He had his blue mask Sue Griffin made him, his blue and white hooded jacket with pointed green construction paper ears pinned to the hood, his yellow construction paper insignia (complete with black bat) pinned to his shirt, and a beaded belt (that says "Wyoming") with cardboard communicator, cardboard handcuffs, and pink construction paper Bat Gun.
We went for a walk this morning and he kept shedding items from his "utility belt", so we came home and scotch taped "handles" on everything. He insisted on going to the Dairy Queen in full regalia, including long pants and boots . One of the ladies there was very taken with Pete's costume (she laughed and laughed and tried slipping her hand into the handcuffs), but wanted to know what Pete was dressed up for. I told her if she ever had a five year old, she'd know.
I might prefer to have Pete dress ordinarily, but his costume doesn't hurt anyone, so why not let him enjoy it? Thank goodness life with Pete is never dull.
He had his blue mask Sue Griffin made him, his blue and white hooded jacket with pointed green construction paper ears pinned to the hood, his yellow construction paper insignia (complete with black bat) pinned to his shirt, and a beaded belt (that says "Wyoming") with cardboard communicator, cardboard handcuffs, and pink construction paper Bat Gun.
We went for a walk this morning and he kept shedding items from his "utility belt", so we came home and scotch taped "handles" on everything. He insisted on going to the Dairy Queen in full regalia, including long pants and boots . One of the ladies there was very taken with Pete's costume (she laughed and laughed and tried slipping her hand into the handcuffs), but wanted to know what Pete was dressed up for. I told her if she ever had a five year old, she'd know.
I might prefer to have Pete dress ordinarily, but his costume doesn't hurt anyone, so why not let him enjoy it? Thank goodness life with Pete is never dull.
June 22, 1978: Tangled
One of the difficulties of having long hair is that I shed. I find long red hairs on the bathroom throw rug, along the edges of my Persian carpet, and even in Petey''s (sic. toys)-or tangled up in his construction trucks set. A hair around the axle can paralyze a little car and, of course, they fill up my vacuum cleaner.
If my hair were shorter, I'd probably still shed, but I don't think it would show as much...And maybe I wouldn't have to fish hair out of the tub drain (though it does give a swense of accomplishment when the water starts burbling down again).
Perhaps I ought to try a harinet-maybe one of the "invisible" ones. My Grandma always wore a hairnt, a deep brown one with wide mesh. not compromising at all with her steel grey hair. She always wore her hair in a long braid wound around her head or in a big bun at the back. I suppose that's what I'm aiming for-to do my hair like Grandma did. It's just now long enough to put in a bun after four years of growing.
---
"Sleep after toil, port after stormy seas
Ease after war, death after life doth greatly please"
-Spenser
I read this in Gladys Taber's Stillmeadow and Sugarbridge (I hope its true)
---
When Petey had pneumonia and was having arterial blood gasses tests every hour-screaming with pain, the doctor told me he was going to die, and (Petey) said "I want to play with the angels". He was in such terrible pain, and I could only watch the heart monitor and breathe with him-willing him to absorb more oxygen/to keep breathing, and pray. Then I thought perhaps it would be better if he did die. I thought 'I can't bear this suffering'. But he recovered, and he's had a year and ahalf since of being happy; taking music lessons, riding his bike, playing with the neighbors, going to ball games and movies, the carnival and the circus.
I'm glad he had this time, but when the time comes that he must die, I hope it's a transition as easy and pleasant as sleep. He's not afraid of dying-of going to Jesus, being "caught up in the rainbow"...except for one thing, "I'll miss you, Mama".
---
Vicky and Julie were here-and Cindy and Lolita. Julie was practicing her gymnastics on the frong lawn; cartwheels and cartwheel roundups. Four year old Cindy and 5 year old Lolita were trying too. The lawn was covered with flying bodies. Cindy just managed to get her bottom in the air, then collapsed in a heap. Lolita did better, but couldn't keep her legs straight. Petey just stood patiently watching. He knew he couldn't risk it (much more sensible than his Mother, who was afraid he might), but didn't seem at all envious. Then, out of sheer exuberance, Vicky tackeled Julie, Lolita tackled Vicky, and Cindy and Peter moved in from the fringes. They were all in a heap-like puppies.
They tied Petey's jump rope to a cutoff branch of the sycamore tree and swung on it. Julie tried to climb the tree in her stocking feet, but our sycamore has no good hand or foot grips, and the branches start high.
This summer, for me will always be captured in a pile of laughing children.
If my hair were shorter, I'd probably still shed, but I don't think it would show as much...And maybe I wouldn't have to fish hair out of the tub drain (though it does give a swense of accomplishment when the water starts burbling down again).
Perhaps I ought to try a harinet-maybe one of the "invisible" ones. My Grandma always wore a hairnt, a deep brown one with wide mesh. not compromising at all with her steel grey hair. She always wore her hair in a long braid wound around her head or in a big bun at the back. I suppose that's what I'm aiming for-to do my hair like Grandma did. It's just now long enough to put in a bun after four years of growing.
---
"Sleep after toil, port after stormy seas
Ease after war, death after life doth greatly please"
-Spenser
I read this in Gladys Taber's Stillmeadow and Sugarbridge (I hope its true)
---
When Petey had pneumonia and was having arterial blood gasses tests every hour-screaming with pain, the doctor told me he was going to die, and (Petey) said "I want to play with the angels". He was in such terrible pain, and I could only watch the heart monitor and breathe with him-willing him to absorb more oxygen/to keep breathing, and pray. Then I thought perhaps it would be better if he did die. I thought 'I can't bear this suffering'. But he recovered, and he's had a year and ahalf since of being happy; taking music lessons, riding his bike, playing with the neighbors, going to ball games and movies, the carnival and the circus.
I'm glad he had this time, but when the time comes that he must die, I hope it's a transition as easy and pleasant as sleep. He's not afraid of dying-of going to Jesus, being "caught up in the rainbow"...except for one thing, "I'll miss you, Mama".
---
Vicky and Julie were here-and Cindy and Lolita. Julie was practicing her gymnastics on the frong lawn; cartwheels and cartwheel roundups. Four year old Cindy and 5 year old Lolita were trying too. The lawn was covered with flying bodies. Cindy just managed to get her bottom in the air, then collapsed in a heap. Lolita did better, but couldn't keep her legs straight. Petey just stood patiently watching. He knew he couldn't risk it (much more sensible than his Mother, who was afraid he might), but didn't seem at all envious. Then, out of sheer exuberance, Vicky tackeled Julie, Lolita tackled Vicky, and Cindy and Peter moved in from the fringes. They were all in a heap-like puppies.
They tied Petey's jump rope to a cutoff branch of the sycamore tree and swung on it. Julie tried to climb the tree in her stocking feet, but our sycamore has no good hand or foot grips, and the branches start high.
This summer, for me will always be captured in a pile of laughing children.
June 20, 1978: Weevils in the Cupboard
There were weevils in my kitchen cupboard again. I can't think where the little devils come from but they were there in my ironstone cups when I put the groceries away. I poured out some of the open rice from both boxes and Dad and I looked, but couldn't find any weevils. I had some lasagna, some Hamburger Helper, some Noodle Roni, and some chicken noodle to go-all in the same cupboard, but they're still sealed. The only other possibility is in the walnuts, but I didn't think weevils ate those. I'm getting rid of everything on suspicion anyhow. From now on, I'll only keep sealed glass jars in that cupboard. I'll starve them out! I had weevils there once before, but cleaned out everything and washed out the cupboard with hot water and detergent. I don't know how they survived, but I'm not housing a third lot! Let's see them get in a pickle jar! I scrubbed and scalded the cups-eliminating the evidence, but I'm not happy. I imagine I can hear them crunching away in there, the way I could here the termites in my old wooden desk in Hawaii.
---
Tonight we had barbecued steaks at the farm. Pete didn't want to play with the little girls at all today because he had to "stay clean". he even washed his hair last night to be ready, and he changed into his summer clothes (shorts and a tank top), at the last possible minute. After he'd eaten, his stomach was swollen and he said "Mommy, I should have worn a bigger shirt!".
I told Harold I'd read somewhere that one char-broiled steak contains as many carcinogens as 600 cigarettes, but I didn't intend to stop eating steak. He uses a lot of msg in his steak sauce too. Fortunately, I'm not sensitive to it. I drank a cold beer, champagne punch (lukewarm) and coffee (also lukewarm), and didn't feel more than a slight glow. I indulged in another forbidden pleasure (you can't buy alcohol with food stamps, so it seems wrong to buy it at all), potato chips (while Pete was outside so he wouldn't see, since he's on a low salt diet). He had hotdogs instead of steak and wrecked his low carbohydrates diet by having one and a half baked potatoes and a piece of Pastor Phil's and Linda's anniversary cake. I told him I'm not feeding him tomorrow, but he just said "You are to!"-couldn't fool him!
---
Tonight we had barbecued steaks at the farm. Pete didn't want to play with the little girls at all today because he had to "stay clean". he even washed his hair last night to be ready, and he changed into his summer clothes (shorts and a tank top), at the last possible minute. After he'd eaten, his stomach was swollen and he said "Mommy, I should have worn a bigger shirt!".
I told Harold I'd read somewhere that one char-broiled steak contains as many carcinogens as 600 cigarettes, but I didn't intend to stop eating steak. He uses a lot of msg in his steak sauce too. Fortunately, I'm not sensitive to it. I drank a cold beer, champagne punch (lukewarm) and coffee (also lukewarm), and didn't feel more than a slight glow. I indulged in another forbidden pleasure (you can't buy alcohol with food stamps, so it seems wrong to buy it at all), potato chips (while Pete was outside so he wouldn't see, since he's on a low salt diet). He had hotdogs instead of steak and wrecked his low carbohydrates diet by having one and a half baked potatoes and a piece of Pastor Phil's and Linda's anniversary cake. I told him I'm not feeding him tomorrow, but he just said "You are to!"-couldn't fool him!
Undated: Fairy Tale
Once and on a time, a fairy family lived in a field.
They were always quarreling over who had the best leaf to lie under, the sweetest clover to nibble on. They quarreled about the shapes of clouds in the sky. They quarreled over the weather-if it was nice and warm to one, another would be certain to say it was too sunny;
If the wind blew a gale, one of them would be thankful for the pleasant breeze even though it blew him across the pasture and into the duck pond.
So they went on very happily-day after day with plenty to say to each other.
They were always quarreling over who had the best leaf to lie under, the sweetest clover to nibble on. They quarreled about the shapes of clouds in the sky. They quarreled over the weather-if it was nice and warm to one, another would be certain to say it was too sunny;
If the wind blew a gale, one of them would be thankful for the pleasant breeze even though it blew him across the pasture and into the duck pond.
So they went on very happily-day after day with plenty to say to each other.
Undated: A Reflection on The House Of Death
To me, it's a big black boxwith brass bound corners, but to Petey, it's a rainbow you can walk in. He's not afraid of dying. He wants to play with the angels, but he wants to take his body with him.
June 21st, 1978: Where Dreams Live
Certain places recur in my dreams and now and then I have a feeling of recongition: "Oh yes, I've been here many times before". One of them is a magazine and cigarette kiosk, reached by a twisting stair in a windowless section of a terminal (airline or subway?), lit only by its neon sign. Another is a used book store, in the second story of a shabby building in a rundown and rather dangerous seedy business district in Denver, Colorado (Why Denver?). I only get there occasionally because the way is rather intricate(and it goes by a boy's club where there is always a boy outside leaning on a lamp post). There is one exterior, along winding road that goes downhill (you start from a tower covered with vines), that is travelled only by heads with wings attached (?)-and I too, fly down the path. I have a friend who claims to have seen this country in daylight, in Baja, California. And there is a country of trees, bigger than redwoods, where all the people live in the treetops and never see the ground-which is someware far below the leaves. Its a calm and pleasant place that always means good dreams
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