Petey had a bad attack of the miseries this afternoon. For once, we had no company, and he was out on the front lawn playing "space" with his fort made of two cardboard boxes, his shoebox lid controls, and his space guns. Suddenly he ran into the house, and burst into the kitchen crying. I asked him if he'd hurt himself, but he said no, he didn't hurt anywhere, and he didn't know why he was crying. I asked him if he were lonely, or if something happened to frighten him, but he just cried more. I held him on my lap and hugged him and kissed him on his neck-first below his chin where it tickles, and told him I loved him, and finally he stopped crying and seemed perfectly happy again, but I still don't know why he was crying and neither does he.
I've heard of night terrors-Pete has them sometimes, tho' not so often now as before-but I've never heard of a child having day terrors before. It's like the time he lost his memory of an hour and inexplicably forgot we'd had dinner (his favorite-fried chicken-at that).
Tonight I read Pete The Girl& The Goatherd or This and That, Thus and So. The girl goes to work for a witch to become beautiful, and then doesn't like it. I told Peter I'd better go to work for the witch, and he said "No, don't do it, you're too beautiful!-she'd make you ugly. Please don't go to work for any witch, mommy!" I promised I wouldn't, and thanked Pete for the compliment.
I didn't tell him there aren't any witches, because of course, there are. Just look what a following Sybil Leek has...and when I lived in San Francisco, I saw Anton LaVey out riding, with his pet lion in the back of the car. I am afraid as many people celebrate the Black Mass now as did in the Middle Ages.
There will always be people seeking an easy road to power or beauty or wealth. Our only only mistake is in ignoring them or laughing them off. The love of evil for it's own sake is dangerous (as King James remarked before me). Whether spells and incantations really work is immaterial, it's the wish to do evil which can always be gratified, that makes the Satanists formidable.
Nancy Lawson
a picture from her early teaching days in San Franciso
Sunday, July 29, 2018
Juyly 9th, 1978: On "sneak writing" and demanding children
Tonight is really too hot to sleep. It reminds me of the summer nights in Illinois, when I used to sneak downstairs with my book long after dark. I would switch on the light and the floor would be a seething black mass of cockroaches (EDITOR'S NOTE: *SHUDDERS*). I'd give them time to clear and settle to read to an accompaniment of cicadas and peepers from the pond. The air would be hot to breathe and full of shrill maddening sound-the book a cool hospitable escape. I could submerge myself in snow and Christmas preparations or voyage on the high seas (I wanted to run away to sea fro years until I discovered girls weren't allowed to sign on as cabin boys).
Now I no longer have to sneak to read at night (tho' I have neighbors who think it peculiar that sometimes stay up till as late as 2:00am!), but I do most of my reading, and all of my writing after Pete's safely in bed. Otherwise he always wants attention right at the denouement-is the detective about to announce the murderer?, Will the runaway be caught before they get to Gretna Green?...then Pete will want a drink, a playmate, a shoe tied, a story, or a hug. Whatever the reason, Momma will have to get there in a hurry...and "there" is usually the front lawn when he just sits and shouts till I appear.
If I try to write while he's awake, he endeavors to help me by drawing pictures in my book, or writing a story himself-for which I have to spell out all the words-or by insisting that read to him everything I've written down, on which occasions, he amends what I've written by inserting every incident I've left out, saying "now put that in, momma", and insisting I read him the amended version.
Right now, though, he's safely in bed, and here I am in a hot kitchen (no cockroaches, though) "sneak writing".
Now I no longer have to sneak to read at night (tho' I have neighbors who think it peculiar that sometimes stay up till as late as 2:00am!), but I do most of my reading, and all of my writing after Pete's safely in bed. Otherwise he always wants attention right at the denouement-is the detective about to announce the murderer?, Will the runaway be caught before they get to Gretna Green?...then Pete will want a drink, a playmate, a shoe tied, a story, or a hug. Whatever the reason, Momma will have to get there in a hurry...and "there" is usually the front lawn when he just sits and shouts till I appear.
If I try to write while he's awake, he endeavors to help me by drawing pictures in my book, or writing a story himself-for which I have to spell out all the words-or by insisting that read to him everything I've written down, on which occasions, he amends what I've written by inserting every incident I've left out, saying "now put that in, momma", and insisting I read him the amended version.
Right now, though, he's safely in bed, and here I am in a hot kitchen (no cockroaches, though) "sneak writing".
July 8th, 1978: "Hans and Alice-Till Death Do Us Part"
Yesterday was Mom and Dad's 43rd Wedding Anniversary. Their marriage has endured tremendous hardships. They went from a well to do family with a cook, a maid, a nursemaid for me, and then a nurse for Betty, to having three children, no staff, and now money when the C.C.C. collapsed with the outbreak of World War II.
Howard was born prematurely with an incomplete palate, had to be nursed for hours with a special bottle, and-at six months old-had to be hospitalized and drugged to keep him from tearing his lungs apart with whooping cough.
Mom ran her hand through the washing machine wringer and broke all the bones in her hand, and Dad had to be hospitalized with mumps.
He tried all the services in turn and they rejected him because of his crippled hands (EDITOR'S NOTE: Fireworks accident), so he finally joined the Armed Services branch of the Red Cross. Then Mom and Dad endured endless separations while he was regularly transferred on 24 hour notice. We moved all ove rth United States, with Mom usually coping with the moves. The worst moment was when Dad had to leave for Alaska on Christmas Eve. He was gone two years and Howard forgot him, and I didn't recognize him when he came home.
Then there was the struggle of finding a civilian job again, in a place where mom could teach-and the breaking up of the family began when I went away to college.
There were years osf separatin (I made it home only once in 8 years) as Betty, Howard, and I married (in my case, more than once) and moved about. Then Dad was hospitalized again, Mother developed cancer, and had to have X-ray treatments, then had a stroke, then found she had Multiple Sclerosis (MS). Her physical condition has steadily declined. She had several broken bones, then broker her hip, which put her in a wheelchair...and she only has one functioning kidney.
Just a few days before their Anniversary, Mom was hospitalized again. Dad shares her nursing care wtih Betty, but he has cataracts and trouble with his vision.
But in spite of all their troubles, their marriage has endured for 43 years. I'm afraid I lack the patience, the endurance (even the stoicism), and the ability to compromise that has kept them together all these years.
Thinking of them, "ti;; death do us part" emerges as real commitment.
Howard was born prematurely with an incomplete palate, had to be nursed for hours with a special bottle, and-at six months old-had to be hospitalized and drugged to keep him from tearing his lungs apart with whooping cough.
Mom ran her hand through the washing machine wringer and broke all the bones in her hand, and Dad had to be hospitalized with mumps.
He tried all the services in turn and they rejected him because of his crippled hands (EDITOR'S NOTE: Fireworks accident), so he finally joined the Armed Services branch of the Red Cross. Then Mom and Dad endured endless separations while he was regularly transferred on 24 hour notice. We moved all ove rth United States, with Mom usually coping with the moves. The worst moment was when Dad had to leave for Alaska on Christmas Eve. He was gone two years and Howard forgot him, and I didn't recognize him when he came home.
Then there was the struggle of finding a civilian job again, in a place where mom could teach-and the breaking up of the family began when I went away to college.
There were years osf separatin (I made it home only once in 8 years) as Betty, Howard, and I married (in my case, more than once) and moved about. Then Dad was hospitalized again, Mother developed cancer, and had to have X-ray treatments, then had a stroke, then found she had Multiple Sclerosis (MS). Her physical condition has steadily declined. She had several broken bones, then broker her hip, which put her in a wheelchair...and she only has one functioning kidney.
Just a few days before their Anniversary, Mom was hospitalized again. Dad shares her nursing care wtih Betty, but he has cataracts and trouble with his vision.
But in spite of all their troubles, their marriage has endured for 43 years. I'm afraid I lack the patience, the endurance (even the stoicism), and the ability to compromise that has kept them together all these years.
Thinking of them, "ti;; death do us part" emerges as real commitment.
July 7th, 1978: Origin of Neurosis
Petey really worries me lately. He keeps saying "I don't like myself". When I ask him why, sometimes he jokes about, says "myself hits me", and hits himself. Sometimes he just says "I don't know".
I ask him WHAT about himself he doesn't like, and he just says "I don't know", but it calls for constant reassurance: that he's a good little boy, that I like him, that other people like him, because his second standard refrain is "nobody likes me, do they?" (considering that <the neighbor kids> spend every minute here that Pete's allowed outside, I'd say a lot of people like him).
Sometimes he lines up all his toys and addresses them one by one, "Teddybear, I don't like you. Rabbit Rabbit, I don't like you, Raggedy Ann, I don't like you. Raggedy Andy, I don't like you....", and I have to pick up each one and cuddle it as it cries because Petey doesn't like it.
Sometimes, of course, it's "Mommy, I don't like you", but always alternated by "you're so lovable, do you know that?"
I've told him sometimes, "I always love you, but when you're naughty, I don't like you very much", but the times he says "I don't like myself" aren't always, or even often, when he's naughty. I hope he'll outgrow it...like his fear of bathtubs and thunder
------
EDITOR'S NOTE: Thunder, yes, bathtubs, on the other hand....
I ask him WHAT about himself he doesn't like, and he just says "I don't know", but it calls for constant reassurance: that he's a good little boy, that I like him, that other people like him, because his second standard refrain is "nobody likes me, do they?" (considering that <the neighbor kids> spend every minute here that Pete's allowed outside, I'd say a lot of people like him).
Sometimes he lines up all his toys and addresses them one by one, "Teddybear, I don't like you. Rabbit Rabbit, I don't like you, Raggedy Ann, I don't like you. Raggedy Andy, I don't like you....", and I have to pick up each one and cuddle it as it cries because Petey doesn't like it.
Sometimes, of course, it's "Mommy, I don't like you", but always alternated by "you're so lovable, do you know that?"
I've told him sometimes, "I always love you, but when you're naughty, I don't like you very much", but the times he says "I don't like myself" aren't always, or even often, when he's naughty. I hope he'll outgrow it...like his fear of bathtubs and thunder
------
EDITOR'S NOTE: Thunder, yes, bathtubs, on the other hand....
July 6th, 1978: On Tea
Tomorrow I'll make myself a pot of tea. I save it for special treats because it's hard to drink a whole pot by myself before it gets cold or steeps too long, and I don't like warmed-over or stewed tea. My favorite is Earl Gray. I like the delicate fragrance, almost like a perfume. I like English Breakfast, Irish Breakfast, and Russian Caravan. These are especially good if you add milk (who can afford cream now?) to your tea. I like Jasmine with the little yellow flowers tucked in among the tea leaves, and I like herbal teas-the smoky Yerba Buena (mate) tea-in moderation. I once found to my cost that, drunk in large amounts, it causes hallucinations-followed by violent headache. I like the astringent chamomile tea (what Peter Rabbit had instead of berries) and the mild peppermint. But any tea has to be made with really boiling water in a bot that's been heated first.
I have an English china pot, with a hollow handle that fills with tea an burns your hand, but I prefer my Japanese metal teapot-with a high, bamboo wound handle and a strainer basket so the tea leaves can be removed before the tea gets too strong.
I have an English china pot, with a hollow handle that fills with tea an burns your hand, but I prefer my Japanese metal teapot-with a high, bamboo wound handle and a strainer basket so the tea leaves can be removed before the tea gets too strong.
Saturday, July 21, 2018
July 5th, 1978: In which Nancy calls Pete's bluff
Today Petey threatened to run away again. Vicky was here and was very shocked when I said "OK...I'll help you pack". I said "I'll have to find another little boy to give your toys to because you can't take them with you". Pete said, "I'll take a big suitcase and take them all" (it would have to be a very large suitcase). I said "oh no, you can't take a suitcase because they're mine. You'll have to pack in a bandana handkerchief, three pairs of underpants, three pairs of socks, and a clean handkerchief-that's all you can take". And Pete said "I'll come back tonight and steal a big suitcase", and I said "of course you'll miss 'Charlie's Angels'"...then Pete thought maybe he'd run away tomorrow instead. All the time Vicky was saying "She doesn't mean it...you don't mean it do you??? Petey, you can stay at my house....she's only teasing"-very agitated. But Pete and I always play this game. In fact, when he says "I don't like you", I say, "OK then, I'll run away", and he usually changes his mind.
Tonight he said, "Momma, would you let me run away?", and I said, "Of course not, I wouldn't really let you run away!". I thought I'd be reassuring, but he said, "But Momma, you always let me run away!"
Tonight he said, "Momma, would you let me run away?", and I said, "Of course not, I wouldn't really let you run away!". I thought I'd be reassuring, but he said, "But Momma, you always let me run away!"
Monday, July 16, 2018
July 4th, 1978: Magic Sparklers
Petey and I spent a very quiet Fourth. We didn't get to the program in the park, though Petey practiced his singing all day (lying on the floor), "Are you sleeping, are you sleeping?", "Minute Men, Minute Men/Get up on the Double-this means lots of trouble! This means war!"
Nobody told me he was supposed to be in the program 'till today, and it was raining anyhow. Then the Plazas decided to watch the fireworks from the campus instead of from our lawn, and Pete was heartbroken until they said he could go along. They gave him three boxes of sparklers, and he had one from last year.
He told me he held them out by the end. One spark lit on his hand, but he said he only whispered "ouch"-so no one would know. He twirled his sparklers, "did you know they're magic? They leave lines in the air!...And I had red ones and green ones and bluish ones!".
He also had popcorn (no salt) and two cups of coffee ("just like the grownups!, and I liked it!"*)
He came home sizzling with exclamation points ("and the noise scared me a little, Mommy!").
*EDITOR'S NOTE: And so began a 40 year love affair/addiction to the stuff! =-)
Nobody told me he was supposed to be in the program 'till today, and it was raining anyhow. Then the Plazas decided to watch the fireworks from the campus instead of from our lawn, and Pete was heartbroken until they said he could go along. They gave him three boxes of sparklers, and he had one from last year.
He told me he held them out by the end. One spark lit on his hand, but he said he only whispered "ouch"-so no one would know. He twirled his sparklers, "did you know they're magic? They leave lines in the air!...And I had red ones and green ones and bluish ones!".
He also had popcorn (no salt) and two cups of coffee ("just like the grownups!, and I liked it!"*)
He came home sizzling with exclamation points ("and the noise scared me a little, Mommy!").
*EDITOR'S NOTE: And so began a 40 year love affair/addiction to the stuff! =-)
July 3rd 1978: The Joy of Rain
Pete's growing up again. On Saturday the mere mention of the word "thunder" could throw him into a tizzy, and any time he saw lightening, his first words were "will it hurt me?". On Sunday it rained, but we walked to the Dairy Queen in the cloudy interludes. Pete wanted to take his bicycle out, and when I said, "But there's thunder.", he said "oh, that's just a noise". So he rode back and forth on the sidewalk across the street.
Today he, Lolita and Vicky were coloring in Lolita's new Batman coloring book and he was reluctant to come in even when the first drops of rain fell. The clouds were real purple thunderheads and the air was the curious color of storms. The rain sluiced down and we watched it skipping in the street.
"Is the rain dancing, Mommy?"
The rain dwindled down to a mist, and we went outside to play "monsters" on the lawn racing from tree to tree ("just one last race"), when the big drops started again. Petey took off his wet shoes, then went out on the drenched front steps in his stocking feet to see if it was still raining and watch the orange sliver of sunset. He spent a long time watching the storm from the front window after I'd dried him off, raining raindrops on the window pane, his fear of storms completely forgotten in the joy of rain.
Today he, Lolita and Vicky were coloring in Lolita's new Batman coloring book and he was reluctant to come in even when the first drops of rain fell. The clouds were real purple thunderheads and the air was the curious color of storms. The rain sluiced down and we watched it skipping in the street.
"Is the rain dancing, Mommy?"
The rain dwindled down to a mist, and we went outside to play "monsters" on the lawn racing from tree to tree ("just one last race"), when the big drops started again. Petey took off his wet shoes, then went out on the drenched front steps in his stocking feet to see if it was still raining and watch the orange sliver of sunset. He spent a long time watching the storm from the front window after I'd dried him off, raining raindrops on the window pane, his fear of storms completely forgotten in the joy of rain.
Saturday, July 14, 2018
July 2, 1978: Of minor gods, cruel words, and song lyrics
I have just been reading Noel's The Mythology of Middle Earth about Tolkien's use of mythology, especially in The Hobbit and The Ring Cycle, and Fritz Leiber's Our Lady of Darkness about megapolismancy, the black magic inherent in the sheer mas of cities (in this case, San Francisco).
They set me wondering about how future archaeologists would view our civilization...and what they would say of our current myths. Specifically, I wondered what they'd do if they unearthed a cache of Hanna-Barbera cartoons. Ore what they would make of Saturday morning TV. We no longer revere the Greek and Roman gods and goddesses, but we have "Isis", "Shazam", "Spiderman", and the "Super Friends" (including Wonder Woman and Superman). We have our own cults of "shape changers"(i.e The Wonder Twins and others), and we have giants ("The Great Grape Ape, for instance).
Peter told me tonight, "I don't like you, and I'm going to stay separate from you in my room, except for "Super Friends"! Petey always wants to play his Batman or Spiderman or Superman. How many adults secretly wish they could?
Peter's song for guitar and coffee can:
There was an old lady who was in a wheelchair
And the very old lady said
"I wish I had someone to help with my work"
And she travelled all over the world
and when she came to the place she wanted, she found assistance there
She found assistance there
And she and her assistant had a car
And the lived happily ever after
(EDITOR'S NOTE: Remember, I was still 5 at the time).
They set me wondering about how future archaeologists would view our civilization...and what they would say of our current myths. Specifically, I wondered what they'd do if they unearthed a cache of Hanna-Barbera cartoons. Ore what they would make of Saturday morning TV. We no longer revere the Greek and Roman gods and goddesses, but we have "Isis", "Shazam", "Spiderman", and the "Super Friends" (including Wonder Woman and Superman). We have our own cults of "shape changers"(i.e The Wonder Twins and others), and we have giants ("The Great Grape Ape, for instance).
Peter told me tonight, "I don't like you, and I'm going to stay separate from you in my room, except for "Super Friends"! Petey always wants to play his Batman or Spiderman or Superman. How many adults secretly wish they could?
Peter's song for guitar and coffee can:
There was an old lady who was in a wheelchair
And the very old lady said
"I wish I had someone to help with my work"
And she travelled all over the world
and when she came to the place she wanted, she found assistance there
She found assistance there
And she and her assistant had a car
And the lived happily ever after
(EDITOR'S NOTE: Remember, I was still 5 at the time).
June 30, 1978: Bicycyle adventures, an invite to swim, and green peaceful evenings
Tonight was very special. It was a long, light, hot summer evening. Pete watched "Wonder Woman" till 8:00pm, and then we set out for a "bicycle walk". Pete got off and we walked the bike across all the streets, but he rode on all the sidewalks.
"I want to do it all by myself, Mommy, and not be pushed".
He managed uneven pavements very well, and has finally learned to steer, so he wasn't always on the curb or in someone's lawn.
I was "the announcer" as he pedalled in an imaginary motorcycle race. When we came home, Daniel and Maria were sitting in front with Patrick Plaza...just home from Germany. We talked about different countries, and about being homesick while Pete lay in our lawn chair-with his Batmobile and his jeep, Batman, Robin, and Riddler. Mary Jo came home and invited Pete and me to go swimming in the big pool before it opens to the public (EDITOR'S NOTE: This is referring to the now defunct Ontario Aquatic Center), and Daneil gave Pete an innertube to float in. Pete squished in the water on the lawn to help was the innertube, then took off his shoes and socks and waded. If there's a puddle anywhere, he'll find it and wade in it!
He played with his outgrown fire engine (soon to be given away to "Diana's baby") while I cooked tamales for dinner. He wanted dinner by candlelight, so we lit my blue candle. The fan made the candle flicker wildly and most of it melted away, so Pete promised to me a new one for Mother's Day. He ate to my narration of Bible stories, from creation through the flood, and then he had the story of Abraham and Isaac for his bedtime reading. He went to sleep without protest, so I'd be sure to wake up for "Super Friends" (I slept through it last Saturday and didn't get Pete up to watch). It was a green and peaceful evening.
"I want to do it all by myself, Mommy, and not be pushed".
He managed uneven pavements very well, and has finally learned to steer, so he wasn't always on the curb or in someone's lawn.
I was "the announcer" as he pedalled in an imaginary motorcycle race. When we came home, Daniel and Maria were sitting in front with Patrick Plaza...just home from Germany. We talked about different countries, and about being homesick while Pete lay in our lawn chair-with his Batmobile and his jeep, Batman, Robin, and Riddler. Mary Jo came home and invited Pete and me to go swimming in the big pool before it opens to the public (EDITOR'S NOTE: This is referring to the now defunct Ontario Aquatic Center), and Daneil gave Pete an innertube to float in. Pete squished in the water on the lawn to help was the innertube, then took off his shoes and socks and waded. If there's a puddle anywhere, he'll find it and wade in it!
He played with his outgrown fire engine (soon to be given away to "Diana's baby") while I cooked tamales for dinner. He wanted dinner by candlelight, so we lit my blue candle. The fan made the candle flicker wildly and most of it melted away, so Pete promised to me a new one for Mother's Day. He ate to my narration of Bible stories, from creation through the flood, and then he had the story of Abraham and Isaac for his bedtime reading. He went to sleep without protest, so I'd be sure to wake up for "Super Friends" (I slept through it last Saturday and didn't get Pete up to watch). It was a green and peaceful evening.
June 29th, 1978: Lemonade, Bandaids, and Resentment
I seem to be the neighborhood first aid station and lemonade stand. Every time Cindy, Lolita, or Vicky gets a scratch, they come to me for a Bandaid because "their mothers don't have any." I finally told Lolita to tell her mother to buy some.
I always dribble on plenty of Bactine first, to help prevent infection-but I wonder, does Bactine and a Bandaid constitute practicing medicine without a license?...and why I should I use up all my Bandaids on the neighbors? But I cant pass by those pleading faces-or Vicky saying, "This scratch hurts."
The lemonade irks me more. I don't mind making it once in a while for a special treat, but I don't expect to serve the whole neighborhood every day, and I especially don't like it when Lolita orders me to give her lemonade. I've taken to saying "no, but you can have a glass of water"...and what a lot of water I lug when Cindy and Lolita could go home for a drink (EDITOR'S NOTE: Cindy and Lolita lived in the house immediately in back of our duplex). Lemonade and Bandaids are luxuries on my budget, not necessities, but I suppose I'll go on purveying, and resenting it. Somewhere I keep hearing a voice saying "Inasmuch as ye do it unto the least of my creatures" and my conscience won't let me refuse....though my mind tells me it's an imposition. If only I could be reconciled to feeling one way or the other!
I always dribble on plenty of Bactine first, to help prevent infection-but I wonder, does Bactine and a Bandaid constitute practicing medicine without a license?...and why I should I use up all my Bandaids on the neighbors? But I cant pass by those pleading faces-or Vicky saying, "This scratch hurts."
The lemonade irks me more. I don't mind making it once in a while for a special treat, but I don't expect to serve the whole neighborhood every day, and I especially don't like it when Lolita orders me to give her lemonade. I've taken to saying "no, but you can have a glass of water"...and what a lot of water I lug when Cindy and Lolita could go home for a drink (EDITOR'S NOTE: Cindy and Lolita lived in the house immediately in back of our duplex). Lemonade and Bandaids are luxuries on my budget, not necessities, but I suppose I'll go on purveying, and resenting it. Somewhere I keep hearing a voice saying "Inasmuch as ye do it unto the least of my creatures" and my conscience won't let me refuse....though my mind tells me it's an imposition. If only I could be reconciled to feeling one way or the other!
Friday, July 13, 2018
June 28th, 1978: Defrosted Freezers, Dripping Paint, Batplanes and Beets
I read Gilbreth's (sp) Time Out For Happiness today and was surprised to find out it was the senior Gilbreths (sp) who originated the technique of having the nurse hand the surgeon the proper instrument, thus cutting some operating times as much as 2/3rds. AND they originated much of the rehabilitation study for the physically handicapped.
My day would have failed sadly in any time and motion study. It took me from 12:30pm to 6:00pm to defrost the refrigerator, but while I was doing that, I supervised two lots of children in Pete's wading pool-staying with them the whole time they were in, in case of accidents; went to a restaurant for lunch with Dad and Pete; went to the library (again with Dad and Pete); and read TOFH..
Pete and I painted the front steps (and ourselves) this morning-Pete doing a very good job in spite of getting his brush completely in the paint, and Dad and I cleaned the brushes while I was defrosting. I picked a hot day for it (my frozen apricots melted, but I didn't trust them anyway), and have now resolved to me efficient by not letting it get so heavily iced up again.
We had rain, a windstorm, and thunder tonight but about 9:00pm it was clear and still light, so Petey took his Batman and Spiderman planes with launchers outside.
When I looked out to see what he was doing, he and Daniel (Eiguren) each had one and they were having contests to see who could fire the furthest. They tried launching them sideways, upside-down, and straight up. One of Pete's shots misfired and he knocked Daniel's cap off. Vicky came over and Daniel surrendered his Batplane to her, but Laurie called her to come home at once and get ready for bed. She ran off with the plane, and Pete, small legs churning, went off indignantly after her to GET IT BACK. He and Daniel resumed their game, and Daniel got Pete to fire the planes simultaneously, one with each hand. One of the planes lit on Daniel's roof, and he knocked it down with a broom. They narrowly missed sticking it in the sycamore tree, so each shot was suspenseful. At 10:00pm, when it was dark, the two of them turned to more grownup pursuits than flights of fancy.
Our house is surrounded by gardens: Helen's garden, Daniel's garden, and Pete's "garden"-as planted by Daniel. It's a good thing I don't have a green thumb! I was admiring Helen's yucca plant today, in full flower, and she told me she's had it for 10 years and this is the first time its bloomed (I had an orchid in San Francisco and a well meaning Japanese gardener cut off the flowering stalk that takes 7 years to grow. I wonder if it's blooming for someone now?). She'd just decided it was a male and would never blossom when it "came out" spectacularly. She gave me a bouquet of nasturtiums (sp) and their leaves, with some carrot tops for "fern". They have a very faint pleasant odor, and I have them in a green cup that matches their leaves.
Pete's "garden" boasts four green peppers and Pete counts them every day, lest the neighbors pick one. There are tomato plants and some beets just sprouting. Daniel's garden occupies the front of the house: poppies, marigolds, and chrysanthemums-and all the space under the clotheslines (vegetables). Good thing my sister washes for me!
My day would have failed sadly in any time and motion study. It took me from 12:30pm to 6:00pm to defrost the refrigerator, but while I was doing that, I supervised two lots of children in Pete's wading pool-staying with them the whole time they were in, in case of accidents; went to a restaurant for lunch with Dad and Pete; went to the library (again with Dad and Pete); and read TOFH..
Pete and I painted the front steps (and ourselves) this morning-Pete doing a very good job in spite of getting his brush completely in the paint, and Dad and I cleaned the brushes while I was defrosting. I picked a hot day for it (my frozen apricots melted, but I didn't trust them anyway), and have now resolved to me efficient by not letting it get so heavily iced up again.
We had rain, a windstorm, and thunder tonight but about 9:00pm it was clear and still light, so Petey took his Batman and Spiderman planes with launchers outside.
When I looked out to see what he was doing, he and Daniel (Eiguren) each had one and they were having contests to see who could fire the furthest. They tried launching them sideways, upside-down, and straight up. One of Pete's shots misfired and he knocked Daniel's cap off. Vicky came over and Daniel surrendered his Batplane to her, but Laurie called her to come home at once and get ready for bed. She ran off with the plane, and Pete, small legs churning, went off indignantly after her to GET IT BACK. He and Daniel resumed their game, and Daniel got Pete to fire the planes simultaneously, one with each hand. One of the planes lit on Daniel's roof, and he knocked it down with a broom. They narrowly missed sticking it in the sycamore tree, so each shot was suspenseful. At 10:00pm, when it was dark, the two of them turned to more grownup pursuits than flights of fancy.
Our house is surrounded by gardens: Helen's garden, Daniel's garden, and Pete's "garden"-as planted by Daniel. It's a good thing I don't have a green thumb! I was admiring Helen's yucca plant today, in full flower, and she told me she's had it for 10 years and this is the first time its bloomed (I had an orchid in San Francisco and a well meaning Japanese gardener cut off the flowering stalk that takes 7 years to grow. I wonder if it's blooming for someone now?). She'd just decided it was a male and would never blossom when it "came out" spectacularly. She gave me a bouquet of nasturtiums (sp) and their leaves, with some carrot tops for "fern". They have a very faint pleasant odor, and I have them in a green cup that matches their leaves.
Pete's "garden" boasts four green peppers and Pete counts them every day, lest the neighbors pick one. There are tomato plants and some beets just sprouting. Daniel's garden occupies the front of the house: poppies, marigolds, and chrysanthemums-and all the space under the clotheslines (vegetables). Good thing my sister washes for me!
Thursday, July 12, 2018
June 27th, 1978: On Human Kindness and Greater Love
Today the milk of human kindness was overflowing for Peter. He took his Bat plane with launcher to Vicky Plaza's house and it wound up on the roof. Mark, Vicky's brother (and Pete's idol), went to Bonanza 88 and bought Pete a new plane with his own money!
Yai Kido came by, back from California, and brought Pete a cup and pitcher with faces and feet. The lid of the pitcher is a baseball cap (and our old ordinary one had a cracked handle). Pete was drinking lemonade out of his new cup all afternoon.
We went to Marilyn Cates' house for dinner and Pete fell out of the swing and cried. Little Christen offered him the best consultation she could think of; her teddy bear: "You want bear? You want bear?"
When we got home, Lorraine Bennett was just leaving and she'd left Pete 3 shirts( one with a funny gorilla he loved on sight) and a luminous figure of a boy kneeling that says "God is Love" to replace his luminous Jesus (knocked behind his dresser and broken). He missed his Jesus in the dark and was very happy to be reminded of God's love...but the funny thing about all this is that my father says I spoil Pete by giving him too much!
Peter and I watched the sunset. I'd never seen one like it. The sun was hidden behind the black silhouettes of trees, but above it was a white bank of clouds. They stood out in four giant rays, exactly like a child's drawing of the sun-each ray outlined along its edges in white light. As the sun set, the clouds blended together in a vast cushion of purple and pink. I have seen the Aurora Borealis in all its shades of mauve, magenta, and pink in a Nebraskan sky, and a really blue moon behind a San Francisco fog. I once saw the full moon in San Francisco with the pale circles of light around it. I thought surely they were an ominous portent-but nothing happened. When I left Hawaii, the poinsettias were aflame up the mountains, giving way to pink cliffs and the darker green of trees atop the Pali and a triple rainbow arched across the island reaching to each side. In France, even the air is pink and rain washed like an Utrillo canvas...BUT, as Lorraine said, "Tonight's sunset only needs Jesus to complete it"
Yai Kido came by, back from California, and brought Pete a cup and pitcher with faces and feet. The lid of the pitcher is a baseball cap (and our old ordinary one had a cracked handle). Pete was drinking lemonade out of his new cup all afternoon.
We went to Marilyn Cates' house for dinner and Pete fell out of the swing and cried. Little Christen offered him the best consultation she could think of; her teddy bear: "You want bear? You want bear?"
When we got home, Lorraine Bennett was just leaving and she'd left Pete 3 shirts( one with a funny gorilla he loved on sight) and a luminous figure of a boy kneeling that says "God is Love" to replace his luminous Jesus (knocked behind his dresser and broken). He missed his Jesus in the dark and was very happy to be reminded of God's love...but the funny thing about all this is that my father says I spoil Pete by giving him too much!
Peter and I watched the sunset. I'd never seen one like it. The sun was hidden behind the black silhouettes of trees, but above it was a white bank of clouds. They stood out in four giant rays, exactly like a child's drawing of the sun-each ray outlined along its edges in white light. As the sun set, the clouds blended together in a vast cushion of purple and pink. I have seen the Aurora Borealis in all its shades of mauve, magenta, and pink in a Nebraskan sky, and a really blue moon behind a San Francisco fog. I once saw the full moon in San Francisco with the pale circles of light around it. I thought surely they were an ominous portent-but nothing happened. When I left Hawaii, the poinsettias were aflame up the mountains, giving way to pink cliffs and the darker green of trees atop the Pali and a triple rainbow arched across the island reaching to each side. In France, even the air is pink and rain washed like an Utrillo canvas...BUT, as Lorraine said, "Tonight's sunset only needs Jesus to complete it"
June 26th, 1978: Invasion of the loc bloc space fleet
Pete has been building again and our kitchen table is covered with (some would say "cluttered with') space vehicles, There is the big one "Hookup Mindbreaker"-so called because a smaller ship ("Dart") hooks up to it to bring supplies (Mindbreaker has a siren it sounds for supplies...Petey, as siren, is earsplitting) and it has a secret weapon, a "mind breaker".
"Blue Midnight" is the super hero's ship. He singlehandedly, with his smokescreen that defies radar, wards of raids by the enemy in the "Devil Ship". "Blue Midnight" is actually red and blue, with clear loc blocs for windows.
There is "Siren Ship" because it has a round, red and white "siren", and there are two manned spaceships, "Geronimo" (which holds two <lego> men, and "Atlas" (which holds one). Except for the "Devil Ship" which comes from a nameless planet, these belong to the planet Ergol.
Not the least of my preoccupations today was thinking up appropriae names for the constantly increasing array of vehicles...but the Earth to Ergol transport is simply called "shuttle".
"Blue Midnight" is the super hero's ship. He singlehandedly, with his smokescreen that defies radar, wards of raids by the enemy in the "Devil Ship". "Blue Midnight" is actually red and blue, with clear loc blocs for windows.
There is "Siren Ship" because it has a round, red and white "siren", and there are two manned spaceships, "Geronimo" (which holds two <lego> men, and "Atlas" (which holds one). Except for the "Devil Ship" which comes from a nameless planet, these belong to the planet Ergol.
Not the least of my preoccupations today was thinking up appropriae names for the constantly increasing array of vehicles...but the Earth to Ergol transport is simply called "shuttle".
June 25th, 1978: Fishing with Cousin Bernie
Pete went fishing today with his "big cousin" Bernie. He was worried this morning because it was grey and overcast, but Bernie reassured him that that was the best weather for fishing. The fish come to the top for insects left by the rain, he said. Bernie had to get a license at Skagg's (drug store), and he got a jar of unsalted peanuts to share with Petey-but Petey knocked them over in the dirt. He got worms at F&F (Grandpa financed the trip so Pete could go). I asked Pete how he was going to get the worm on his hook, would he bait it?, and he said "Ugh! Yuk! I'm not putting the worm on!"
We dropped the two fisherman at Becker's Pond. I had visions of Pete being struck by lightening (in case it rained), or getting caught by a fishhook, but I noticed there were cars there, so there'd be a grownup in case of emergency, and steeled myself to leave him. We went back a little over an hour later. Pete hadn't caught anything (I was glad because I haven't the faintest idea how to clean a fish!), but I guess he's a good companion, because Bernie offered to take him fishing at the farm "where there's not so much moss"
We dropped the two fisherman at Becker's Pond. I had visions of Pete being struck by lightening (in case it rained), or getting caught by a fishhook, but I noticed there were cars there, so there'd be a grownup in case of emergency, and steeled myself to leave him. We went back a little over an hour later. Pete hadn't caught anything (I was glad because I haven't the faintest idea how to clean a fish!), but I guess he's a good companion, because Bernie offered to take him fishing at the farm "where there's not so much moss"
Wednesday, July 11, 2018
June 24th, 1978: Il Pluit
Pete had a huge temper tantrum this morning. I slept through the alarm and didn't get up to turn on "Super Friends". I finally spanked him and told him if he were going to get so upset about television, I'd have Grandpa take the set away.
I told him to go in his room, but he stopped crying. Later on, we had to pray about it and Pete was sorry. He watched "Batman and Robin" but the screen started jumping again (I mean the picture on the screen did) so it was no pleasure to watch "Isis", and we gave up channel 2 altogether when "the Cosby Kids" came on.
I swept the front steps-intending to get an early start and paint them, but the sky was cloudy so I didn't paint after all. This afternoon rain sluiced down and we had thunder. Pete's afraid of it, so I was glad he was snuggled in bed for his nap.
We made salt clay in the kitchen this morning. Pete put in the salt and cornstarch and was indignant when I added the water while he watched cartoons. I forgot to stir. The clay was very sticky and we had no waxed paper to roll it out so we used aluminum foil instead. The salt clay stuck to the foil and to the rolling pin, but we did cut some out with the cookie cutters and rolled the rest up in aluminum foil and sealed in a tupperware bowl.
It was an ideal day for sleeping and reading. I read Heyer's The Nonesuch, Carr's Scandal At High Chimney's and Taber's Harvest of Yesterday. I looked at one of Creasey's Dr Palfrey stories, but didn't like it, so I read only the ending. Then I leafed trhough some of my huge stack of old Argus Observers, cutting out articles aobut people I know to give to them. I can't read a newspaper a day and I usually do the whol week's worth on Saturday and Sunday-working backward to the bottom of the stack. Pete was sleeping when the thunderstorm broke and I went in and cuddled him in case he woke up and was frightened (just the word thunder can send him into a tizzy).
Pete watched "Blue Falcon" because the television was flickering (he told me to put that in). Vicky came over to play when the rain stopped but Cindy and Lolita ran away from Pete.
He watched "Bionic Woman" and had a picnic supper in the living room (ham, cheese, and green peppers).
I read but Pete draws. He drew "Batman and Mommy" tonight , and a "book" about "Spiderman and Batman". Then he wanted to draw in my "book", and was very angry because I wouldn't share.
I told him to go in his room, but he stopped crying. Later on, we had to pray about it and Pete was sorry. He watched "Batman and Robin" but the screen started jumping again (I mean the picture on the screen did) so it was no pleasure to watch "Isis", and we gave up channel 2 altogether when "the Cosby Kids" came on.
I swept the front steps-intending to get an early start and paint them, but the sky was cloudy so I didn't paint after all. This afternoon rain sluiced down and we had thunder. Pete's afraid of it, so I was glad he was snuggled in bed for his nap.
We made salt clay in the kitchen this morning. Pete put in the salt and cornstarch and was indignant when I added the water while he watched cartoons. I forgot to stir. The clay was very sticky and we had no waxed paper to roll it out so we used aluminum foil instead. The salt clay stuck to the foil and to the rolling pin, but we did cut some out with the cookie cutters and rolled the rest up in aluminum foil and sealed in a tupperware bowl.
It was an ideal day for sleeping and reading. I read Heyer's The Nonesuch, Carr's Scandal At High Chimney's and Taber's Harvest of Yesterday. I looked at one of Creasey's Dr Palfrey stories, but didn't like it, so I read only the ending. Then I leafed trhough some of my huge stack of old Argus Observers, cutting out articles aobut people I know to give to them. I can't read a newspaper a day and I usually do the whol week's worth on Saturday and Sunday-working backward to the bottom of the stack. Pete was sleeping when the thunderstorm broke and I went in and cuddled him in case he woke up and was frightened (just the word thunder can send him into a tizzy).
Pete watched "Blue Falcon" because the television was flickering (he told me to put that in). Vicky came over to play when the rain stopped but Cindy and Lolita ran away from Pete.
He watched "Bionic Woman" and had a picnic supper in the living room (ham, cheese, and green peppers).
I read but Pete draws. He drew "Batman and Mommy" tonight , and a "book" about "Spiderman and Batman". Then he wanted to draw in my "book", and was very angry because I wouldn't share.
June 23rd, 1978: Not so secret identities
Pete was Batman all day today.
He had his blue mask Sue Griffin made him, his blue and white hooded jacket with pointed green construction paper ears pinned to the hood, his yellow construction paper insignia (complete with black bat) pinned to his shirt, and a beaded belt (that says "Wyoming") with cardboard communicator, cardboard handcuffs, and pink construction paper Bat Gun.
We went for a walk this morning and he kept shedding items from his "utility belt", so we came home and scotch taped "handles" on everything. He insisted on going to the Dairy Queen in full regalia, including long pants and boots . One of the ladies there was very taken with Pete's costume (she laughed and laughed and tried slipping her hand into the handcuffs), but wanted to know what Pete was dressed up for. I told her if she ever had a five year old, she'd know.
I might prefer to have Pete dress ordinarily, but his costume doesn't hurt anyone, so why not let him enjoy it? Thank goodness life with Pete is never dull.
He had his blue mask Sue Griffin made him, his blue and white hooded jacket with pointed green construction paper ears pinned to the hood, his yellow construction paper insignia (complete with black bat) pinned to his shirt, and a beaded belt (that says "Wyoming") with cardboard communicator, cardboard handcuffs, and pink construction paper Bat Gun.
We went for a walk this morning and he kept shedding items from his "utility belt", so we came home and scotch taped "handles" on everything. He insisted on going to the Dairy Queen in full regalia, including long pants and boots . One of the ladies there was very taken with Pete's costume (she laughed and laughed and tried slipping her hand into the handcuffs), but wanted to know what Pete was dressed up for. I told her if she ever had a five year old, she'd know.
I might prefer to have Pete dress ordinarily, but his costume doesn't hurt anyone, so why not let him enjoy it? Thank goodness life with Pete is never dull.
June 22, 1978: Tangled
One of the difficulties of having long hair is that I shed. I find long red hairs on the bathroom throw rug, along the edges of my Persian carpet, and even in Petey''s (sic. toys)-or tangled up in his construction trucks set. A hair around the axle can paralyze a little car and, of course, they fill up my vacuum cleaner.
If my hair were shorter, I'd probably still shed, but I don't think it would show as much...And maybe I wouldn't have to fish hair out of the tub drain (though it does give a swense of accomplishment when the water starts burbling down again).
Perhaps I ought to try a harinet-maybe one of the "invisible" ones. My Grandma always wore a hairnt, a deep brown one with wide mesh. not compromising at all with her steel grey hair. She always wore her hair in a long braid wound around her head or in a big bun at the back. I suppose that's what I'm aiming for-to do my hair like Grandma did. It's just now long enough to put in a bun after four years of growing.
---
"Sleep after toil, port after stormy seas
Ease after war, death after life doth greatly please"
-Spenser
I read this in Gladys Taber's Stillmeadow and Sugarbridge (I hope its true)
---
When Petey had pneumonia and was having arterial blood gasses tests every hour-screaming with pain, the doctor told me he was going to die, and (Petey) said "I want to play with the angels". He was in such terrible pain, and I could only watch the heart monitor and breathe with him-willing him to absorb more oxygen/to keep breathing, and pray. Then I thought perhaps it would be better if he did die. I thought 'I can't bear this suffering'. But he recovered, and he's had a year and ahalf since of being happy; taking music lessons, riding his bike, playing with the neighbors, going to ball games and movies, the carnival and the circus.
I'm glad he had this time, but when the time comes that he must die, I hope it's a transition as easy and pleasant as sleep. He's not afraid of dying-of going to Jesus, being "caught up in the rainbow"...except for one thing, "I'll miss you, Mama".
---
Vicky and Julie were here-and Cindy and Lolita. Julie was practicing her gymnastics on the frong lawn; cartwheels and cartwheel roundups. Four year old Cindy and 5 year old Lolita were trying too. The lawn was covered with flying bodies. Cindy just managed to get her bottom in the air, then collapsed in a heap. Lolita did better, but couldn't keep her legs straight. Petey just stood patiently watching. He knew he couldn't risk it (much more sensible than his Mother, who was afraid he might), but didn't seem at all envious. Then, out of sheer exuberance, Vicky tackeled Julie, Lolita tackled Vicky, and Cindy and Peter moved in from the fringes. They were all in a heap-like puppies.
They tied Petey's jump rope to a cutoff branch of the sycamore tree and swung on it. Julie tried to climb the tree in her stocking feet, but our sycamore has no good hand or foot grips, and the branches start high.
This summer, for me will always be captured in a pile of laughing children.
If my hair were shorter, I'd probably still shed, but I don't think it would show as much...And maybe I wouldn't have to fish hair out of the tub drain (though it does give a swense of accomplishment when the water starts burbling down again).
Perhaps I ought to try a harinet-maybe one of the "invisible" ones. My Grandma always wore a hairnt, a deep brown one with wide mesh. not compromising at all with her steel grey hair. She always wore her hair in a long braid wound around her head or in a big bun at the back. I suppose that's what I'm aiming for-to do my hair like Grandma did. It's just now long enough to put in a bun after four years of growing.
---
"Sleep after toil, port after stormy seas
Ease after war, death after life doth greatly please"
-Spenser
I read this in Gladys Taber's Stillmeadow and Sugarbridge (I hope its true)
---
When Petey had pneumonia and was having arterial blood gasses tests every hour-screaming with pain, the doctor told me he was going to die, and (Petey) said "I want to play with the angels". He was in such terrible pain, and I could only watch the heart monitor and breathe with him-willing him to absorb more oxygen/to keep breathing, and pray. Then I thought perhaps it would be better if he did die. I thought 'I can't bear this suffering'. But he recovered, and he's had a year and ahalf since of being happy; taking music lessons, riding his bike, playing with the neighbors, going to ball games and movies, the carnival and the circus.
I'm glad he had this time, but when the time comes that he must die, I hope it's a transition as easy and pleasant as sleep. He's not afraid of dying-of going to Jesus, being "caught up in the rainbow"...except for one thing, "I'll miss you, Mama".
---
Vicky and Julie were here-and Cindy and Lolita. Julie was practicing her gymnastics on the frong lawn; cartwheels and cartwheel roundups. Four year old Cindy and 5 year old Lolita were trying too. The lawn was covered with flying bodies. Cindy just managed to get her bottom in the air, then collapsed in a heap. Lolita did better, but couldn't keep her legs straight. Petey just stood patiently watching. He knew he couldn't risk it (much more sensible than his Mother, who was afraid he might), but didn't seem at all envious. Then, out of sheer exuberance, Vicky tackeled Julie, Lolita tackled Vicky, and Cindy and Peter moved in from the fringes. They were all in a heap-like puppies.
They tied Petey's jump rope to a cutoff branch of the sycamore tree and swung on it. Julie tried to climb the tree in her stocking feet, but our sycamore has no good hand or foot grips, and the branches start high.
This summer, for me will always be captured in a pile of laughing children.
June 20, 1978: Weevils in the Cupboard
There were weevils in my kitchen cupboard again. I can't think where the little devils come from but they were there in my ironstone cups when I put the groceries away. I poured out some of the open rice from both boxes and Dad and I looked, but couldn't find any weevils. I had some lasagna, some Hamburger Helper, some Noodle Roni, and some chicken noodle to go-all in the same cupboard, but they're still sealed. The only other possibility is in the walnuts, but I didn't think weevils ate those. I'm getting rid of everything on suspicion anyhow. From now on, I'll only keep sealed glass jars in that cupboard. I'll starve them out! I had weevils there once before, but cleaned out everything and washed out the cupboard with hot water and detergent. I don't know how they survived, but I'm not housing a third lot! Let's see them get in a pickle jar! I scrubbed and scalded the cups-eliminating the evidence, but I'm not happy. I imagine I can hear them crunching away in there, the way I could here the termites in my old wooden desk in Hawaii.
---
Tonight we had barbecued steaks at the farm. Pete didn't want to play with the little girls at all today because he had to "stay clean". he even washed his hair last night to be ready, and he changed into his summer clothes (shorts and a tank top), at the last possible minute. After he'd eaten, his stomach was swollen and he said "Mommy, I should have worn a bigger shirt!".
I told Harold I'd read somewhere that one char-broiled steak contains as many carcinogens as 600 cigarettes, but I didn't intend to stop eating steak. He uses a lot of msg in his steak sauce too. Fortunately, I'm not sensitive to it. I drank a cold beer, champagne punch (lukewarm) and coffee (also lukewarm), and didn't feel more than a slight glow. I indulged in another forbidden pleasure (you can't buy alcohol with food stamps, so it seems wrong to buy it at all), potato chips (while Pete was outside so he wouldn't see, since he's on a low salt diet). He had hotdogs instead of steak and wrecked his low carbohydrates diet by having one and a half baked potatoes and a piece of Pastor Phil's and Linda's anniversary cake. I told him I'm not feeding him tomorrow, but he just said "You are to!"-couldn't fool him!
---
Tonight we had barbecued steaks at the farm. Pete didn't want to play with the little girls at all today because he had to "stay clean". he even washed his hair last night to be ready, and he changed into his summer clothes (shorts and a tank top), at the last possible minute. After he'd eaten, his stomach was swollen and he said "Mommy, I should have worn a bigger shirt!".
I told Harold I'd read somewhere that one char-broiled steak contains as many carcinogens as 600 cigarettes, but I didn't intend to stop eating steak. He uses a lot of msg in his steak sauce too. Fortunately, I'm not sensitive to it. I drank a cold beer, champagne punch (lukewarm) and coffee (also lukewarm), and didn't feel more than a slight glow. I indulged in another forbidden pleasure (you can't buy alcohol with food stamps, so it seems wrong to buy it at all), potato chips (while Pete was outside so he wouldn't see, since he's on a low salt diet). He had hotdogs instead of steak and wrecked his low carbohydrates diet by having one and a half baked potatoes and a piece of Pastor Phil's and Linda's anniversary cake. I told him I'm not feeding him tomorrow, but he just said "You are to!"-couldn't fool him!
Undated: Fairy Tale
Once and on a time, a fairy family lived in a field.
They were always quarreling over who had the best leaf to lie under, the sweetest clover to nibble on. They quarreled about the shapes of clouds in the sky. They quarreled over the weather-if it was nice and warm to one, another would be certain to say it was too sunny;
If the wind blew a gale, one of them would be thankful for the pleasant breeze even though it blew him across the pasture and into the duck pond.
So they went on very happily-day after day with plenty to say to each other.
They were always quarreling over who had the best leaf to lie under, the sweetest clover to nibble on. They quarreled about the shapes of clouds in the sky. They quarreled over the weather-if it was nice and warm to one, another would be certain to say it was too sunny;
If the wind blew a gale, one of them would be thankful for the pleasant breeze even though it blew him across the pasture and into the duck pond.
So they went on very happily-day after day with plenty to say to each other.
Undated: A Reflection on The House Of Death
To me, it's a big black boxwith brass bound corners, but to Petey, it's a rainbow you can walk in. He's not afraid of dying. He wants to play with the angels, but he wants to take his body with him.
June 21st, 1978: Where Dreams Live
Certain places recur in my dreams and now and then I have a feeling of recongition: "Oh yes, I've been here many times before". One of them is a magazine and cigarette kiosk, reached by a twisting stair in a windowless section of a terminal (airline or subway?), lit only by its neon sign. Another is a used book store, in the second story of a shabby building in a rundown and rather dangerous seedy business district in Denver, Colorado (Why Denver?). I only get there occasionally because the way is rather intricate(and it goes by a boy's club where there is always a boy outside leaning on a lamp post). There is one exterior, along winding road that goes downhill (you start from a tower covered with vines), that is travelled only by heads with wings attached (?)-and I too, fly down the path. I have a friend who claims to have seen this country in daylight, in Baja, California. And there is a country of trees, bigger than redwoods, where all the people live in the treetops and never see the ground-which is someware far below the leaves. Its a calm and pleasant place that always means good dreams
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