Pete was Batman all day today.
He had his blue mask Sue Griffin made him, his blue and white hooded jacket with pointed green construction paper ears pinned to the hood, his yellow construction paper insignia (complete with black bat) pinned to his shirt, and a beaded belt (that says "Wyoming") with cardboard communicator, cardboard handcuffs, and pink construction paper Bat Gun.
We went for a walk this morning and he kept shedding items from his "utility belt", so we came home and scotch taped "handles" on everything. He insisted on going to the Dairy Queen in full regalia, including long pants and boots . One of the ladies there was very taken with Pete's costume (she laughed and laughed and tried slipping her hand into the handcuffs), but wanted to know what Pete was dressed up for. I told her if she ever had a five year old, she'd know.
I might prefer to have Pete dress ordinarily, but his costume doesn't hurt anyone, so why not let him enjoy it? Thank goodness life with Pete is never dull.
Nancy Lawson
a picture from her early teaching days in San Franciso
Wednesday, July 11, 2018
June 22, 1978: Tangled
One of the difficulties of having long hair is that I shed. I find long red hairs on the bathroom throw rug, along the edges of my Persian carpet, and even in Petey''s (sic. toys)-or tangled up in his construction trucks set. A hair around the axle can paralyze a little car and, of course, they fill up my vacuum cleaner.
If my hair were shorter, I'd probably still shed, but I don't think it would show as much...And maybe I wouldn't have to fish hair out of the tub drain (though it does give a swense of accomplishment when the water starts burbling down again).
Perhaps I ought to try a harinet-maybe one of the "invisible" ones. My Grandma always wore a hairnt, a deep brown one with wide mesh. not compromising at all with her steel grey hair. She always wore her hair in a long braid wound around her head or in a big bun at the back. I suppose that's what I'm aiming for-to do my hair like Grandma did. It's just now long enough to put in a bun after four years of growing.
---
"Sleep after toil, port after stormy seas
Ease after war, death after life doth greatly please"
-Spenser
I read this in Gladys Taber's Stillmeadow and Sugarbridge (I hope its true)
---
When Petey had pneumonia and was having arterial blood gasses tests every hour-screaming with pain, the doctor told me he was going to die, and (Petey) said "I want to play with the angels". He was in such terrible pain, and I could only watch the heart monitor and breathe with him-willing him to absorb more oxygen/to keep breathing, and pray. Then I thought perhaps it would be better if he did die. I thought 'I can't bear this suffering'. But he recovered, and he's had a year and ahalf since of being happy; taking music lessons, riding his bike, playing with the neighbors, going to ball games and movies, the carnival and the circus.
I'm glad he had this time, but when the time comes that he must die, I hope it's a transition as easy and pleasant as sleep. He's not afraid of dying-of going to Jesus, being "caught up in the rainbow"...except for one thing, "I'll miss you, Mama".
---
Vicky and Julie were here-and Cindy and Lolita. Julie was practicing her gymnastics on the frong lawn; cartwheels and cartwheel roundups. Four year old Cindy and 5 year old Lolita were trying too. The lawn was covered with flying bodies. Cindy just managed to get her bottom in the air, then collapsed in a heap. Lolita did better, but couldn't keep her legs straight. Petey just stood patiently watching. He knew he couldn't risk it (much more sensible than his Mother, who was afraid he might), but didn't seem at all envious. Then, out of sheer exuberance, Vicky tackeled Julie, Lolita tackled Vicky, and Cindy and Peter moved in from the fringes. They were all in a heap-like puppies.
They tied Petey's jump rope to a cutoff branch of the sycamore tree and swung on it. Julie tried to climb the tree in her stocking feet, but our sycamore has no good hand or foot grips, and the branches start high.
This summer, for me will always be captured in a pile of laughing children.
If my hair were shorter, I'd probably still shed, but I don't think it would show as much...And maybe I wouldn't have to fish hair out of the tub drain (though it does give a swense of accomplishment when the water starts burbling down again).
Perhaps I ought to try a harinet-maybe one of the "invisible" ones. My Grandma always wore a hairnt, a deep brown one with wide mesh. not compromising at all with her steel grey hair. She always wore her hair in a long braid wound around her head or in a big bun at the back. I suppose that's what I'm aiming for-to do my hair like Grandma did. It's just now long enough to put in a bun after four years of growing.
---
"Sleep after toil, port after stormy seas
Ease after war, death after life doth greatly please"
-Spenser
I read this in Gladys Taber's Stillmeadow and Sugarbridge (I hope its true)
---
When Petey had pneumonia and was having arterial blood gasses tests every hour-screaming with pain, the doctor told me he was going to die, and (Petey) said "I want to play with the angels". He was in such terrible pain, and I could only watch the heart monitor and breathe with him-willing him to absorb more oxygen/to keep breathing, and pray. Then I thought perhaps it would be better if he did die. I thought 'I can't bear this suffering'. But he recovered, and he's had a year and ahalf since of being happy; taking music lessons, riding his bike, playing with the neighbors, going to ball games and movies, the carnival and the circus.
I'm glad he had this time, but when the time comes that he must die, I hope it's a transition as easy and pleasant as sleep. He's not afraid of dying-of going to Jesus, being "caught up in the rainbow"...except for one thing, "I'll miss you, Mama".
---
Vicky and Julie were here-and Cindy and Lolita. Julie was practicing her gymnastics on the frong lawn; cartwheels and cartwheel roundups. Four year old Cindy and 5 year old Lolita were trying too. The lawn was covered with flying bodies. Cindy just managed to get her bottom in the air, then collapsed in a heap. Lolita did better, but couldn't keep her legs straight. Petey just stood patiently watching. He knew he couldn't risk it (much more sensible than his Mother, who was afraid he might), but didn't seem at all envious. Then, out of sheer exuberance, Vicky tackeled Julie, Lolita tackled Vicky, and Cindy and Peter moved in from the fringes. They were all in a heap-like puppies.
They tied Petey's jump rope to a cutoff branch of the sycamore tree and swung on it. Julie tried to climb the tree in her stocking feet, but our sycamore has no good hand or foot grips, and the branches start high.
This summer, for me will always be captured in a pile of laughing children.
June 20, 1978: Weevils in the Cupboard
There were weevils in my kitchen cupboard again. I can't think where the little devils come from but they were there in my ironstone cups when I put the groceries away. I poured out some of the open rice from both boxes and Dad and I looked, but couldn't find any weevils. I had some lasagna, some Hamburger Helper, some Noodle Roni, and some chicken noodle to go-all in the same cupboard, but they're still sealed. The only other possibility is in the walnuts, but I didn't think weevils ate those. I'm getting rid of everything on suspicion anyhow. From now on, I'll only keep sealed glass jars in that cupboard. I'll starve them out! I had weevils there once before, but cleaned out everything and washed out the cupboard with hot water and detergent. I don't know how they survived, but I'm not housing a third lot! Let's see them get in a pickle jar! I scrubbed and scalded the cups-eliminating the evidence, but I'm not happy. I imagine I can hear them crunching away in there, the way I could here the termites in my old wooden desk in Hawaii.
---
Tonight we had barbecued steaks at the farm. Pete didn't want to play with the little girls at all today because he had to "stay clean". he even washed his hair last night to be ready, and he changed into his summer clothes (shorts and a tank top), at the last possible minute. After he'd eaten, his stomach was swollen and he said "Mommy, I should have worn a bigger shirt!".
I told Harold I'd read somewhere that one char-broiled steak contains as many carcinogens as 600 cigarettes, but I didn't intend to stop eating steak. He uses a lot of msg in his steak sauce too. Fortunately, I'm not sensitive to it. I drank a cold beer, champagne punch (lukewarm) and coffee (also lukewarm), and didn't feel more than a slight glow. I indulged in another forbidden pleasure (you can't buy alcohol with food stamps, so it seems wrong to buy it at all), potato chips (while Pete was outside so he wouldn't see, since he's on a low salt diet). He had hotdogs instead of steak and wrecked his low carbohydrates diet by having one and a half baked potatoes and a piece of Pastor Phil's and Linda's anniversary cake. I told him I'm not feeding him tomorrow, but he just said "You are to!"-couldn't fool him!
---
Tonight we had barbecued steaks at the farm. Pete didn't want to play with the little girls at all today because he had to "stay clean". he even washed his hair last night to be ready, and he changed into his summer clothes (shorts and a tank top), at the last possible minute. After he'd eaten, his stomach was swollen and he said "Mommy, I should have worn a bigger shirt!".
I told Harold I'd read somewhere that one char-broiled steak contains as many carcinogens as 600 cigarettes, but I didn't intend to stop eating steak. He uses a lot of msg in his steak sauce too. Fortunately, I'm not sensitive to it. I drank a cold beer, champagne punch (lukewarm) and coffee (also lukewarm), and didn't feel more than a slight glow. I indulged in another forbidden pleasure (you can't buy alcohol with food stamps, so it seems wrong to buy it at all), potato chips (while Pete was outside so he wouldn't see, since he's on a low salt diet). He had hotdogs instead of steak and wrecked his low carbohydrates diet by having one and a half baked potatoes and a piece of Pastor Phil's and Linda's anniversary cake. I told him I'm not feeding him tomorrow, but he just said "You are to!"-couldn't fool him!
Undated: Fairy Tale
Once and on a time, a fairy family lived in a field.
They were always quarreling over who had the best leaf to lie under, the sweetest clover to nibble on. They quarreled about the shapes of clouds in the sky. They quarreled over the weather-if it was nice and warm to one, another would be certain to say it was too sunny;
If the wind blew a gale, one of them would be thankful for the pleasant breeze even though it blew him across the pasture and into the duck pond.
So they went on very happily-day after day with plenty to say to each other.
They were always quarreling over who had the best leaf to lie under, the sweetest clover to nibble on. They quarreled about the shapes of clouds in the sky. They quarreled over the weather-if it was nice and warm to one, another would be certain to say it was too sunny;
If the wind blew a gale, one of them would be thankful for the pleasant breeze even though it blew him across the pasture and into the duck pond.
So they went on very happily-day after day with plenty to say to each other.
Undated: A Reflection on The House Of Death
To me, it's a big black boxwith brass bound corners, but to Petey, it's a rainbow you can walk in. He's not afraid of dying. He wants to play with the angels, but he wants to take his body with him.
June 21st, 1978: Where Dreams Live
Certain places recur in my dreams and now and then I have a feeling of recongition: "Oh yes, I've been here many times before". One of them is a magazine and cigarette kiosk, reached by a twisting stair in a windowless section of a terminal (airline or subway?), lit only by its neon sign. Another is a used book store, in the second story of a shabby building in a rundown and rather dangerous seedy business district in Denver, Colorado (Why Denver?). I only get there occasionally because the way is rather intricate(and it goes by a boy's club where there is always a boy outside leaning on a lamp post). There is one exterior, along winding road that goes downhill (you start from a tower covered with vines), that is travelled only by heads with wings attached (?)-and I too, fly down the path. I have a friend who claims to have seen this country in daylight, in Baja, California. And there is a country of trees, bigger than redwoods, where all the people live in the treetops and never see the ground-which is someware far below the leaves. Its a calm and pleasant place that always means good dreams
Wednesday, November 30, 2016
December 13th, 1978-in which Nancy battles depression
I feel more and more depressed as the month advances. Today was Mom's Birthday and I forgot to call and wish her a Happy Birthday. In fact, I forgot it was the 13th until nearly midnight tonight.
Petey brought home a note from school complaining about parents sending their children to school when they are sick-and I know it meant me because Petey threw up spectacularly in the parking lot after school. I feel so guilty for letting him go to school while I went to the doctor. He only threw up once and didn't run a fever so I'm convinced it was the combination of spaghetti and chocolate milk (and salted rice chex) that made him throw up...but I still feel guilty....AAAND I sent his gift exchange present today when they were supposed to be taken to the party. I can't do anything right. I spent $17.00 on Christmas and Birthday presents and I still don't have anything for Thelma's family (they're giving us something so I HAVE to give them something) or Betty's boys. I have to take money out of savings to go to Boise with, because Thelma wants to go to the Salvation Army stores and they only take cash, and anyhow I only have $20.00 left and I'll have to get groceries. Petey didn't eat anything today except cinnamon toast and raviolis. I just know he's going to get sick from malnutrition. He's been exposed to Chicken Pox and could get shingles again and there's nothing I can do about it. Nobody called or came by today and the only mail was a hospital bill. Ugh!
Petey brought home a note from school complaining about parents sending their children to school when they are sick-and I know it meant me because Petey threw up spectacularly in the parking lot after school. I feel so guilty for letting him go to school while I went to the doctor. He only threw up once and didn't run a fever so I'm convinced it was the combination of spaghetti and chocolate milk (and salted rice chex) that made him throw up...but I still feel guilty....AAAND I sent his gift exchange present today when they were supposed to be taken to the party. I can't do anything right. I spent $17.00 on Christmas and Birthday presents and I still don't have anything for Thelma's family (they're giving us something so I HAVE to give them something) or Betty's boys. I have to take money out of savings to go to Boise with, because Thelma wants to go to the Salvation Army stores and they only take cash, and anyhow I only have $20.00 left and I'll have to get groceries. Petey didn't eat anything today except cinnamon toast and raviolis. I just know he's going to get sick from malnutrition. He's been exposed to Chicken Pox and could get shingles again and there's nothing I can do about it. Nobody called or came by today and the only mail was a hospital bill. Ugh!
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