Friday, July 15th, 1977-In which Stewart is a No Show (to everyone's relief), our Pastor pays a vist, and Pete meets a Hermit named Herman

Well, as I had more or less expected, Stewart didn't show up today.  He had told Chuck Smith he was going to call Dr. Baskerville immediately to get instructions for moving Pete (removing, that is) to England, but John Sandquist called Dr. Baskerville and Stewart hadn't been in touch with her at all.  John said he was calling the Bell Telephone man in Boise to see if they were still interested in Stewart.  He said that he didn't think the confidentiality of his office extended to law breaking or to matters concerning health and safety.  He gave me his home phone number in case I needed to get in touch with him over the weekend, and said if Stewart were to see Petey they'd arrange it so his visit was supervised and Petey wouldn't be left alone with him.  Woke about nine this morning.  I think I heard Marilyn leaving the tickets for the Magic Show because when I looked out there they were.  We ate lunch (Pete helped me make hamburgers) exactly at 12:00pm for once.  Pete wanted to sleep in the big brown chair and I'd just gotten him tucked in when the doorbell rang.  Pastor Petravisik (sp) had come to call.  He said the old house we used to live in (the one replaced by a doughnut shop) had been moved down to the end of Carol Wallace's road.  I told him how frightened I was of what would happen to Petey if Stewart had custody-it helped to talk about it.  He had just left when Dad phoned to say he was on the way in to put bolts on our doors.  He did the front and back and checked the French windows in Pete's playroom but they have a deadbolt so there was no point in doing any more (anyone who wanted to in could just smash the glass in one of the doors anyhow-the  bolts are simply a "delaying action").  Then, while Dad was here, the doorbell rang and it was Carol Carr and Gretchen back briefly from the beach, so Pete was able to thank them personally for his presents.  Gretchen had her pet, Herman the hermit Crab with her and Pete got out his Seahorse book and showed her the pictures of the hermit crab in it (don't know how he found it).  He touched Herman, very tentatively, too (Herman is a fresh water crab).  It was so good to see Carol again-she looked happy, tanned, and not nearly so tense as the last time I saw her.  She, Jeff, and Gretchen are staying in parents' house in August  so she gave me the address, and I gave he one of our Western Bank photos.  She said our s was the the only letter she'd gotten.  She left, Dand finished the bolts and had a cup of coffee-then he left.  Then Lori  called to see if Pete could come over.  He went at 4:30 for "Sesame Street" and "Mr. Rogers".  I napped, and then he and Vicky came back here for "Electric Company".  Vicky called him about 4 times today.  I'm going to have to make some rules about phone calls at nap time.  They're going on vacation next week.  Called to give Sylvia my phone number again.  Dave said "You're going tomorrow night aren't you?"  His company came at noon today and he missed them because he couldn't get off work.  I took a bath and washed my hair and used a cucumber mask (green face) tonight-sheer defiance.  Pete had his Methatrexate today and whined a lot about not feeling well.  We read an old Humpty Dumpty tonight. 

I had a frightening thought today.  I've always felt that each day Pete and I have together is a gain-one more golden memory...but the doctors only gave him five years (if the treatment worked) when he got sick.  Suppose, instead, each day is one less of the total we have to spend together-a whole year of them has already flown by.  Each day is such a fragile thing! 

Pete wanted to play "Walkity Kaboo" today and be "tied up" and put in a suitcase to practice his "escapes".  Maybe he'll be as interested in "escapes" as Betty Phipps' grandson John.  I think it was John's magic show that started him off.  Then he wanted to be a puppy.  Then we played "cat and dog" on the living room floor (anyone looking in must surely have thought me demented).  We did a lot of puzzles tonight (Pete's very good at them) while listening to Dr. Seuss records, "Horton Hatches the Egg", "Yertle the Turtle", "The Sneetches", "Fox in Sox", and "Green Eggs and Ham".  Then I listened to my garage sale Irish Tenor sing "Scotland the Brave" and "Ireland My Home".  We had watermelon, cantaloupe, (using up all our fresh fruit except apples), hamburger, carrots (Pete and I did a very complicated arithmetic lesson with our Bugs Bunny vitamins today-lining up all the cartoon characters, counting how many of each we had, adding and subtracting as we put them back in the bottle.  Pete was on a counting binge today-kept trying to count up to forty, getting into the twenties, sometimes the thirties, and back tracking.  I read Ferrar's Breath of Suspicion today (spies and heroin, London and Madeira) and started Catherine Aird's A Late Phoenix.  I like her sense of humor and catch myself starting to use her diction.  If I'm not careful, I'll wind up like that San Francisco friend of mine-you could always tell what he was reading because he'd sound just like his latest book till he finished it.  Read Pete and another chapter of The Tin Woodsman of Oz today-he wanted me to retell The Wizard of Oz and the beginning of the The Tin Woodsman... several times..  I thought the Oz books too old for him, but he picked it out himself and seems to be enjoying it.  He likes the quaint illustrations, too.  Carol said Gretchen might have some more books for him.  He loves them.

Thursday, July 14th 1977-in which we have a "Peculiar Day" and Stewart threatens to make a visit.

I've just finished reading a most peculiar book, House of Hate.  It was a first novel and it shows (who, for instance, would write "pursuant to" in a story, without even the excuse of a lawyer's letter?).  In fact it was a most peculiar day altogether.  Pete got me up at 9:30am.  He swore he'd eaten his ceral but the milk jug and his glass of milk were still in the refrigerator, full.  Gave Pete a bath before he got dressed since he didn't take one last night.  He played with his boats and submarine and rumbber duck.  We ate cantaloupe and then had pork chops with apple sauce and green beans from the farm (but they never did get really tender).  Pete left most of his pork chop because he kept finding invisible pieces of "fat".  He won't touch meat with fat on it-even pulls the fat off his bacon.  He did eat some of the packaged chicken.  The mail wasn't much of a haul today, my phone bill, the State Department of Revenue bill, and a form from the Welfare Office.  Yesterday I got an envelope marked "contains information about funerals-destroy if this material is offensive" and I did because it was.  Oh God, how it was!  We lay down for our naps but we had two phone calls and John Sandquist came by, so we gave up and got up.  John told me not to open my door unless I was certain who was there, because Stewart had called Chuck Smith, the hospital administrator and said he was coming later this week.  He finally told Chuck he would arrive in Boise on Friday.  And, as John says, "Ontario's not big enough to hide in".  Stewart complained to Chuck that John hadn't answered his letters, but John said the first 3 hadn't any return addresses so he couldn't anyhow.  I called Dad so he's coming over tomorrow to put chain bolts on the doors.  As John said, that will give me time to get to the phone anyway.  Then Vicky Plaza came over to watch TV ("Sesame Street", "Mr. Rogers", and "Electric Company") with Pete, just after we got back from visiting Betty Phipps (Petey was really visiting her little toy cars, but Betty and I had a long talk.  While Vicky was here Thelma called to invite us to a pageant at the migrant school in Payette.  Thelma took us over because Tom, Jim, and Ada were in it.  Let Pete have lemonade and a cookie (we'd rushed through our hamburger to be ready).  Marilyn called at 11:00pm to say she has tickets for Saturday's "magic Show" she's giving us.  Will go to the matinee (4:00pm) since Sylvia and I are going out at night.

Wednesday, July 13th, 1977-in which Nancy experiences both fear and guilt, but a good day over all

I have been reading The Radiant Dove-yet another "lady turned governess, humble but winning all hearts"-like all such trite tales, it's very soothing.  I even reread Alcott's Eight Cousins today in the search for distraction.  I love Petey so much how shall I bear it if I lose him?  But even worse than that would be if Stewart gained custody and he were in England where I could never know if he were fed, clothed, housed, given the medical treatments he needs...That uncertainty would be truly unbearable.  Pete woke me at 11:00am this morning.  I hadn't meant to sleep so late but I read late last night.  I always put off the moment of going to bed, luxuriating having come safely through another day, knowing that Pete is sleeping soundly, breathing normally-as if my keeping watch could protect him from any harm.  Pete had soup for lunch (chicken alphabet and I had to read him all the letters on his spoon) and I had a ham sandwich with a dill pickle.  It was nearly 2:00pm when Dad came in.  We went first to Ontario Pharmacy-more Melariil for me-then to the library.  Pete checked out more books then I did.  "Sesame Street Live" was overdue so I paid the fine and checked it out again, along with a Drum and Bugle Corps record I hoped Pete would like (he so wants a drum!).  I found a new Keemelman's-Wednesday the Rabbi Got Wet.  I think he's used up all the days of the week now.  Then we went to Safeway and I used the last of my food stamps, filled a WIC coupon to get milk for Petey (we had only enough for his cereal this morning), and spent $10.00 over that ...and I'm still not certain if we have enough food to get by 'till my check comes.  We picked up my prescription, put the groceries away, and went to the A&W.  Pete had a burrito-can I never enforce his diet?-and milk, while Dad and I had root beer floats, and Mom a milkshake.  I gave Dad our laundry but forgot Betty's sleeping bags.  Dad brought in carrots, beets, a huge zucchini, and green beans.  I gave Betty Phipps the zucchini and we had a brief visit.  Want to have her over during the day when her family doesn't need her.  Pete and I sat on the back steps and snapped beans.  We watched Daniel work on his Cadillac and he explained "four wheel drive" to Pete.  Pete rode his tricycle all over, then he pretended he was on a magical merry-go-round and he and tricycle couldn't get off-and whirled in circles till I caught him.  He stepped-literally-into my shoes tonight and pretended to be "Momma", clomping about in my high-heeled sandals.  I read him several of his new books, The Eggs, Halloween Parade, Sir Kevin of Devon, and The Cow That Fell in the Canal.We had cube steak, macaroni salad (Pete's choice) and watermelon for dinner.  Pete helped with the cooking and rinsed and put in the strainer the dishes I washed.  We played ball on the lawn pretending we were on TV...and Pete gave me a ride on his tricycle.  A happy day!

Tuesday, July 12th, 1977

We had our doctor's appointment this morning-Patty took us-and Dr. Baskerville said Pete's blood test was good, and his checkup was fine, except that he's gained two pounds...assisted I'm sure, by Thelma's 3 hot dogs with buns, grandpa's anniversary dinner, and the Prednisone he's been taking.  I'd been giving him extra milk because of his bone softening but she said he might be absorbing phosphorus instead of calcium and told me to give him 3 Tums a day because they are pure calcium.  Patty hadn't time to take us to the park but she said she'd try to later in the week.  Pete ate a lot of green beans today-had bacon, eggs, and green beans for lunch.  After our naps, Vicky Plaza phoned and asked Pete to come over, I called back to check with her mother and got Laurie, her 16 year old sister.  She said it was O.K. for Pete to come over so she came and got him.  They watched "Sesame Street", "Mr. Rogers", and "Electric Company", and then I thought it time for Pete to come home so I called and Laurie and Vicky walked Pete home.  Then he wanted to go to the Dairy Queen-I've been promising him we would go ever since last week-so we walked over and had hot dogs.  I had root beer, Pete had orange, and he gave the order, paid for it, and helped carry the food to the table.  We walked back and had just gotten home when Sylvia came by on her way to do her grocery shopping.  She had a cup of coffee with me while Pete and Sharon played "Trouble" (a dice game with pieces to move around the board), and went outside to play Pete' version of golf with his clubs.  Pete and Sharon seem to get on very well together.  We showed Sylvia the organ (she said she might have a little table we could put it on) and Sylvia said "Pete you'll have to play for Sharon to tap dance".  Pete was very taken with the idea (but what he really wants is a drum).  After they left I caught only the end of Gilbert and Sullivan's "The Gandoliers".  Then I helped Pete set up his "Tiny Zoo" and put him to bed.  He was pretending I was a radio tonight and he could tune me to speak "English (British Accent)" or speak "American".  No side effects from the Methatrexate today.  We read part of The Big Book of Real Boats and Ships, Tweety and Sylvester, and My Teddy Bear.  I read Silent Castle Barebane which had the bloodiest ending I've encountered in a Gothic novel-swords, pistols, and quicksand.

Monday, July 11, 1977-in which Pete shares his fears

Pete and I had a very quiet, pleasant day today.  John took us up to the hospital for Pete's blood test.  Shirley did it and Pete didn't fuss at all.  She forgot to put a band aid on but Pete didn't seem to mind.  He saw Sister Angelica and told her he'd got two fish.  John took Pete's Prednisone and my Tremon to Skagg's (which eventually evolved into Rite-Aid-PL) to be filled.  Betty Phipps came over briefly this morning before we had to go and Pete had a good time telling her about our trip.  I discovered Pete's doctor appointment is tomorrow and not Wednesday, so I called Sylvia and told her I thought we'd better skip the Payette Swimming pool.  She said they told her the afternoon was usually pretty crowded, and Pete doesn't feel secure enough in the water to like horseplay.  I arranged for Sylvia to bring Sharon over to play with Pete while she grocery shops on Thursday.  If it's hot tomorrow I'll get Pete's little wading pool out for him since it's an even-numbered day (because of the water shortage they're still allowing irrigation only on alternate days).  Pete got a package fro Carol Carr today "beach combings", shells, odd rocks, a tiny piece of coral, some seaweed-I think tomorrow we'll take his "seashore" book and try to identify everything-pretend we're walking along the beach.  Pete and I took early naps and he went on a TV viewing orgy; "The Flintstones", "Sesame Street", "Mr. Rogers", "Electric Company" and "The Brady Bunch".  Then I unplugged the set.  Pete didn't want to go outside tonight, tho' he did sit on the front steps and blow bubbles for a while.  He helped with cooking today, hamburgers, pork chops, and three small cans of cooked carrots (better for snacks than candy, I guess).  We saved two of the cans for his "store" but I draw the line at three.  He had a little spot on his back-I tried to investigate to see if were a bruise or an insect bite, but Petey told me "Mom I just have a spot because I'm very sick with Leukemia".  Then he asked me if he had to walk very slowly because he had Leukemia.  He said he told Vicky that he had it and she said they had to be very careful, then he asked me about the time when he was very sick and couldn't see any strangers, and then tell him about the things he can do now.  He said he was frightened to go to sleep but wouldn't tell me why.  I should have realized that his illness is frightening to him, too, and he needs to talk about his fears.  We played race cars on the table, and dollhouse in the playroom (which Pete cleaned very nicely all by himself).  Called Dad-Mom's having some bleeding again so she's seeing the doctor tomorrow.  Pete switched back to 6MP and Methatrexate today.  I read The Silent Cousin and Stranger at Rembrooke today.  Read Pete Wheels That Work (a pop-up book), The Christmas Story, Child's Garden of Verses, and Little Red Riding Hood today.

Sunday, July 10th, 1977-in which there is more fishing, then a return trip home

Sunday-Pete woke up around nine and I had to go so we crept quietly out and went down to the bushes that screened the river.  Then we got back into our bags without waking anyone else (quite an accomplishment) and slept again.  We finally all got up about ten.  We had hamburger and eggs mixed together and tomatoes and onions fried together (Pete didn't eat any of that but he liked the hamburger and had a second patty(.  Then Dave took all the children fishing.  Pete got his first fish (a rock fish) and I got a picture of Pete and Sharon standing together with Pete holding the fish way out on a stringer.  Then they put the fish back in the water since it wasn't edible.  Pete and Sharon each caught two fish.  Then, when Dave came back, Sylvia and I put swimsuits on the children (and ours of course) and took them down down to the pool we'd bathed in.  In daylight I noticed a fine stand of poison ivy along the path to the river, but I don't think any of us got into it.  Pete didn't like the pool, it had mud on the bottom and he didn't want to get his feet muddy.  Pete insisted on wearing his long green pants and his long sleeved sweater so he was in no danger of being burned.  We had steak, green beans, and corn for lunch but it was cool enough for Pete to be comfortable.  We struck camp after the dishes were done-fetched more water to drench the camp fire where we'd burned our garbage, loaded the car again, and were off.  Davey slept all the way home, Sharon sat in the infant seat, and Pete slept on my lap.  We unloaded all the gear except what food we had in the cooler (couldn't reach it) and Pete cried because he thought we didn't have any food at home (NOTE-I still do that! =-)-PL).  I cooked him a cube steak in a hurry.  He ate the whole thing and went to bed for his nap.  He said Teddybear was calling, keeping him awake, he had a thought he couldn't get out of his head, and he didn't want to dream about the wreck (that near-accident shook him) but at last we both napped.  Then soup, playing on the lawn, and baths for both of us with lots of soap.  Called Thelma and Betty and told them Pete caught a fish.  We read a Child's Garden of Verses and Little Red Riding Hood and Pete said his prayers and went to sleep.

Saturday, July 9th, 1977-In which Pete sleeps in a tent for the very first time.

Today Pete and I going camping, the very first time for Pete to sleep in a tent.  Dave plans to take Pete and Sharon fishing, too.  Pete got up early to watch cartoons.  Pete insisted on my watching with him so I put his pillow on the beanbag chair and lay down and slept while he watched.  Then came all the last minute things-finishing packing, putting our pills into my "first-aid box" (an old cosmetics bag), giving Pete his vitamins so we don't have to take them and his first Prednisone so I could pack it, cooking a hearty breakfast (bacon and eggs to follow our cereal) so Pete wouldn't start out hungry, trying to figure out how much food for Pete is enough and not too much...and writing this now since I don't plan to take my diary along.  Dave picked us up at 12:30 and we drove back to the Loebach's house where they finished packing up their gear.  Pete, Sharon, and I had half the back seat-the camping gear had the rest.  We were on our way through Nyssa when a a young girl on a bicycle pulled out in front of us without even looking.  Dave jammed on the brakes, stopping so close to her it looked like he was touching her front wheel.  There was a tinkle like broken glass and Pete was crying because "the car hit him" (he bumped his eye on the edge of Little Davy's "infant seat".  The girl kept on going-didn't even spare us a glance to see what damage she'd done.  As we went on it started to rain and we thought of turning back but kept going.  Dave said "The tent's never been rained on, so now's the time.".  We went up to Lake Owyhee State Park and camped by the sulfur hot springs so we had plenty of hot water for dishes-just fetched it in a bucket.  They have an aluminum frame tent and Dave got it set up very quickly though he had a little trouble getting the pegs in because the ground was so dry.  It started to thunder and we had more rain (no lightening tho') so  Sylvia and I took the children into the tent.  We closed up all the flaps and told stories-I told "Elephant's Birthday Party" and Pete told "3 Little Pigs" (pretty well, too).  Then the rain stopped.  We were all hungry so we had bacon and eggs (we'd planned to have hamburger, but it was frozen solid).  Then Sylvia napped while Dave and I watched the children.  In the afternoon, little Davey wandered away and a neighboring camper returned him-said he'd been just on the edge of the springs.  We ate hamburger for dinner.  Pete had his with no bun-and I gave him a  little bite of mine.  When the dishes were washed and the children in bed, Sylvia and I put on our bathing suits in a nicely leaf-screened "dressing room" and went into the pool where the hot spring runs into the river.  From step to step the pool was icy, hot, and in a few patches, lukewarm.  It was too shallow to swim there but we splashed a lot and had a good bath (I forgot to take soap so I didn't get as clean as I might have).  Good thing we didn't go skinny-dipping (yes, thanks, Mom, that certainly would have been awkward to write about!-PL) as we planned since more swimmers came as we were leaving.  Dave had taken Pete fishing in the afternoon and gone in up to his neck retrieving a float that broke off trying to land a fish Pete had hooked-took his boots ages to dry out on the clothesline by the tent.  Hung Pete's shoes up there too, since he'd stepped in the hot springs by the narrow plank bridge.  Sharon spent her afternoon trying to "build a bridge" Pete could go across and not get wet.  Dave had chopped wood with his hatchet and found a  nice medium sized log and cut it into pieces.  He constructed a fire pit with rocks and had a nice fire going when Sylvia and I came back from our starlight swim.  We steamed our suits the best we could and I sat by the fire in my wet suit and the car coat Marilyn gave me-an odd combination.  Then I changed into my nightgown and robe, and put the car coat on again so I could sit outside and have a cigarette before going to sleep.  Sylvia changed into her slacks and shirt and decided to sleep in those.  We had 5 sleeping bags in the tent so there wasn't too much room but Sylvia tired to get Dave to sleep across the bottom of the tent (the little ones didn't "fill up" their bags so there would have been room at the bottom-but Dave insisted on sleeping outside.  He said he'd go in the car if it rained.  Then Dave held the lantern for me while I gave Pete his pill.  He was so tired (no nap) he wouldn't even sit up and swallow his juice to take the taste of the pill away-just swallowed the pill and went back to sleep.  Managed to do it without waking the other children.  Then Sylvia and I crawled into our sleeping bags, leaving Dave still sitting by the fire.  We had our fluffy quilt under our bags, but the ground was still pretty hard.  We spread a thin blanket over the tops of the bags in case it got cold in the night but we didn't really need it-the tent stayed warm.  I turned a few times, carefully, so as not to bump anyone, burrowed into my bag so my feet touched the bottom, and slept.  Sylvia said Davy cried in the night but I didn't hear him.